As my sister-in-law, Jo, somehow got my brother, Mark, onto a plane from Darwin to Perth, last August (2023), a flurry of messages and phone calls were exchanged amongst the extended family. In the wake of Mark refusing further brain tumour treatment, Jo had taken him on a holiday. Mark had already overcome the first brain tumour, received extensive treatment, and recovered. When another brain tumour appeared, it felt too surreal and impossible to process. I was very much in denial, our mother more realistic. My other brother, Brin, was just as shocked as I was, I think, as we watched our big/little brother, Mark’s breathing slow down.
My mother and I went back to our motel as various of his offspring said goodbye to Mark. Of course, Jo’s phone call to us, just moments later, confirmed the worst; Mark had died.
As Mark’s older sister, I sometimes want to yell out, “Where are you, Mark?” Sometimes this in forests, sometimes ice-rinks, sometimes snow slopes, sometimes in massive piles of bright red maple leaves, Canada, PNG, Bunbury, Walpole, Heaven….
A sense of urgency? Mark would never say that.
jmgoyder 
I am sorry for your loss.
Good to be writing down some of these painful memories. I might begin to do the same. Healing takes many forms, especially healing from grief.
❤ I'm so sorry
Oh, Julie, I am so sorry! What a horrible loss this is!! Thinking of you and your family.
Thinking of you this day and hoping this essay brings you the same comfort it brings me.
~ Cathy from Roatan, Honduras
I am so sorry, that is such sad news. Have you read The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion? I just reread it to see if it was a good as I remembered in order to recommend it to a friend whose beloved had suddenly died. It is so good, in the sense of describing grief, and some of the things my friend was feeling in which she felt alone.
I can’t imagine the pain of losing a sibling I am super close to all mine and that pain would be terrible, I am sorry fo ryour lose