jmgoyder

wings and things

Tragi-comic

When something is funny but not funny, I think it falls into the category of slapstick, or black, comedy. Like this poor little pigeon outside the hospital, in amongst all the rubbish of urban, but having a ball!

Yesterday, when I left the hospital to come home to the farm, Son was still pretty ‘out of it’ and unable to move or eat. My mother took over staying with him and rang me later to say that he was like Lazarus in the afternoon and the physiotherapists and pain team were able to wind the bed up so he was nearly sitting up. He gobbled his lunch and didn’t vomit so all was going very well.

Late this morning, however, I found out that in the middle of the night he’d hallucinated. Here is a paraphrase of what Son told me on the phone:

“Oh Mum, I thought I was in a disco, so I got up and pulled all of my tubes out and went to the toilet, then I was doing this shaking dance move, then they rescued me but I didn’t get the pain button back for three hours so I wanted to die and what if I’ve ruined the operation?”

According to the nurses, all is well despite the incident but hell! I am now WAITING for the doctor who was called in to ring me – argh.

A friend rang yesterday afternoon, before Son’s midnight adventure, and I said, “I can’t believe I have a husband in a nursing home on my left and a son in hospital on my right, and they are both neurologically challenged and 200 kilometres apart!”

She said, “Are you okay?” and I said, “Yeah, I feel like I’m in one of those weird comedies!” and she said, “That’s a good way of looking at it.”

I mean crying gets really boring after awhile, so I’ve discovered bellylaughing; it’s much better for the soul – hehe!

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Applause please….

It’s difficult not to draw comparisons between some of our birds and Son, when it comes to performance and ‘look at me’ behaviour. And yet, paradoxically, this behaviour is both selfconscious and utterly unselfconscious at the same time.

Yesterday afternoon, I left Son in what the hospital calls ‘the transit lounge’ (where you wait until your bed is ready) and drove to my hotel to check in. A bit later I walked back to the hospital and, on impulse, bought Son a huge teddy bear and three chocolate hearts at the hospital’s gift shop. When I finally found his room, the teddy bear elicited gales of laughter from the other three guys in his room, one of whom said, “And we thought he was a macho machine!” A nurse came in and asked what teddy’s name was and I said, “Mummy”, so she then labelled him with a sticker. More hilarity.

I was then allowed to take Son out for dinner which surprised me as his head was adorned with electrodes in readiness for today’s surgery. I know I already posted this photo last night but it’s worth another look:

So we took a taxi from the hospital to Leederville where we were meeting friends. In his usual, gregarious way (just like Husband!), Son struck up a conversation with the taxi driver who told us he wasn’t allowed to go home until much later or his wife (“the captain”) would send him right back out there. Son then told him why he had electrodes glued to his head and the taxi driver grinned and said, “That’s good, I thought you were one of those hooligan types.”

Once out of the taxi, Son and I found the burger joint where we were meeting our friends but, since we were early, we went across the road to a pub where we shared a pint of lager. Son’s head elicited a few startled glances but, as there was some sort of street performance thing happening, he didn’t get as much attention as expected. “Don’t worry about these, mate,” Son said to the bartender, pointing to his head, “I’m having an operation tomorrow.” The bartender just smiled as if to say, ‘Yeah, ‘right’.

Wake up soon, my little peacock! I applaud you….

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The gentlemen

Since our two alpacas, Okami and Uluru, have been shorn, they seem much tamer and friendlier, and they come right up to me now. It’s almost as if all that wool got in the way of our friendship!

They are still very shy and are the most placid animals I have ever come across, but they are also very curious and love to roam around with the birds. If you recall, that is why we got the alpacas in the first place; they are supposed to be good fox deterrents. Somehow, Okami and Uluru don’t seem the fox-attacking types, but you never know!

They are such gentlemen. Okami is the white one and Uluru is the brown one.

Curiouser and curiouser!

As for my own two gentleman (the human ones) Husband has been home again for the weekend. I will have to take him back to the nursing lodge soon but he is really positive about this now and keeps talking fondly of the nurses (mmm!) And Son will be home soon from yet another sleepover with some best friends. This afternoon, we will get ready to go to Perth for the operation; Son will be admitted tomorrow, with surgery scheduled for 8am Tuesday morning.

My gentle, gentle men – and me:

I feel as if I am entering one of those tunnel rides where you don’t think you’ll see the light again and then, whammo, you emerge unscathed into the frothy bubbles of life, life, life.

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Back at the beginning

I just looked up my ‘bird records’ to discover that our bird adventure began less than a year ago, last March. That made me feel weird because it seems like the birds have been here forever! Previous to the birds, we just had the two miniature male dachschunds, Doc and Blaze. Here are my records fyi:

Tuesday 15th March, 2011

Bought 10 guinnea fowl chicks

Doc and Blaze not happy

Monday 4th April 2011

Bought 5 more guinnea fowl chicks

Doc and Blaze really not happy

Tuesday 12th April 2011

Bought 2 pullet Isa Brown hens with Colleen

Doc and Blaze have to be yarded

 Thursday 5th May 2011

Bought 6 peafowl (1 mother and 5 chicks)

Doc and Blaze in shock

Tuesday 17th May 2011

Bought 4 more peachicks

Doc and Blaze in rage

Tuesday 31st May 2011

Bought a breeding pair of peafowl

Doc and Blaze resigned to things

Saturday 11th June, 2011

Bought 2 male golden pheasants – 6 months old

Doc and Blaze want to eat them

Thursday 16th June 2011

Bought 2 female pheasants – 6 months old

Doc and Blaze amazed

Saturday 18th June 2011

Got rooster from Colleen for free ‘Gladiator’

Doc and Blaze scared of Gladiator

Wednesday 22nd June 2011

Bought 3 bantam silkies – 6 months old

Doc and Blaze confused

Wednesday 29th June 2011

Bought 7 Araucana-cross chicks – 5 weeks old

Doc and Blaze don’t know yet – chicks in brooder box

Friday 1st July, 2011

Bought 2 Indian runner ducklings – 3 weeks old

Doc and Blaze don’t know yet – ducklings in brooder box

Monday 4th July 2011

Bought 2 bantam light sussex hens – 6 months old and 1 Malay hen – 1 year old

Doc and Blaze licking lips again

Tuesday 5 July 2011

Bought 2 pekin bantam hens – 1 black 6 months old and 1 mauve a year old

Doc and Blaze have to be kept separate – dog trainer coming out tomorrow

And that’s where my records stop because, not long after the last entry, we experienced the fox massacre (we lost almost all of our chooks in one night), Husband’s health began to deteriorate dramatically, Son’s scoliosos increased dramatically, my stress levels reached for the clouds dramatically, and so on.

So I have no records of when we purchased our beautiful geese, the white peacocks and the emus (although the blog helps with the latter).

It is hard to believe that so much can change so fast.

I wish I could go back in time and change the records.

For example, maybe if I’d warned the dogs, they wouldn’t have had such a negative attitude to the birds. Blaze, Doc’s son, has adjusted to things, but not Doc (below photo deliberately blurred – ha! – due to disturbing material).

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Yesterday

Yesterday, a friend said we had made a good decision in ensuring Husband’s permanency in the nursing lodge.

Yesterday, a friend said we had made a terrible mistake ‘putting’ Husband into a ‘nursing home’.

Yesterday, a friend said Son’s spinal operation was the best thing we could possibly do, and our only option.

Yesterday, a friend said spinal surgery was a bad idea, that Son might become paralysed and that, at the very least, he would lose flexibility.

Yesterday, a friend said that everything would be all right.

Yesterday, a friend said that things would be very difficult.

Yesterday, I wanted it to be Today.

So I went outside to see Pearl … because she doesn’t say anything.

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A mouse in the house

At this time of year, we often have an invasion of mice. These mice seem to find my little office (the size of a large cupboard) particularly attractive due to all the paper, books, newspapers, discarded novel drafts, magazines I was going to write for, Christmas wrapping paper I couldn’t be bothered using, discarded novel drafts, Son’s old school reports which are best forgotten, newsletters from local wineries we never get to go to, information pamphlets about aged care, x-rays of Son’s scoliosis, discarded novel drafts, Son’s old school reports that I should have framed, photographs of me when I was young and beautiful, discarded novel drafts, lecture notes from my university days, Son’s childhood drawings when we thought he was going to be the next Picasso, or maybe Dali, unopened mail, bills that need to be paid, discarded novel drafts, sentimental jottings and so on………….

If you were a mouse, you would understand that my little office is HEAVEN!

For me, however, sharing this small space with mice is HELL.

Now, for all of you pet mouse owners,  I apologise for what comes next….

Mousetraps! Yes, I have discovered a newish invention; it’s plastic and all you do is put some peanut butter on the middle bit and, ideally, the mouse will get whammo-ed (it’s very humane and quick), then all you do is (without having to touch the mouse corpse) empty it into the bin, then re-set the trap for the rest of the mouse family.

The problem, however, is that my mice companions (a couple just scurried past me) are too clever for the traps; they simply eat the peanut butter from the sides of the trap and avoid death. Here is a picture of a trap that has been foiled. As you can see, the peanut butter is gone. It’s almost as if they think I am feeding them!

My feet are permanently up off the floor, sometimes around my neck in an acrobatic move I have developed, in order to avoid being trampled on by the growing army of mice. I am no longer horror-stricken, just brave. I will win this war!

It’s lovely having what my friends are calling a ‘zoo’ outside but inside? No thanks!

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Gobsmacked

I am still gobsmacked by our ‘changelings’. You see, we weren’t home yesterday when the Alpacas, Okami and Uluru, were shorn. So, because we weren’t there to see it happen, it was even more of a ‘before-and-after’ shock.

Many of our birds also seem amazed. Angelina’s hair stood on end when Okami and Uluru approached the food bin to munch out on wheat – and, previous to the shearing, I thought they were a bit fat! I’m about to go and buy some more food for them!

The following photo was taken on the day we purchased the little fellows so how was I supposed to know what was underneath all of that wool???

Oh yeah, we now have several bags of Alpaca wool if anyone is interested! There is enough here to carpet an entire continent – ha!

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Transmogrification

To transmogrify (def. verb): to change in a radical sort of way. Think the Transformers series!

Okami and Uluru (our two Alpacas) were shorn today for the first time in their lives. We bought them at a few months of age so, by now, they are both around a year old; Okami is little bit older than Uluru and they are half-brothers.

This is what they looked like this morning:

This is what they look like now. Yes, it has been a bit of a shock to say the least! An amazing transmogrification – amazing! Son and I have been in hysterics whilst trying to adapt to this enormous change. I mean Uluru and Okami were relatively cute before but now – wow! – they are utterly cute – ha!

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James Bond is a heifer!

Remember that steer whose tag read 007 (a few posts ago)? Well, this particular 007 was not a steer (male); it was a heifer (female).

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Paradoxitis

Paradoxitis: def. Being very happy and very sad at the same time.

A tentative mutual decision was made the other day about how best to manage Husband’s Parkinson’s disease. When Son was little, we all used to sing a variation of the song The two of us. We would press our three noses together and sing, “The three of us, we’ll always be together just the three of us, walking along, singing a song, lalala” at the top of our lungs. Now, for the three of us, this is no longer a physical possiblility as the room Husband is in at the nursing lodge has become available permanently.

When I got home from visiting him yesterday I was overwhelmed by an attack of paradoxitis so I went to get my camera and sat outside for awhile. I was in a bit of a daze and the camera fell off my lap and took a picture all by itself – of the way things are. The world has tilted.

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