jmgoyder

wings and things

Love story 82 – Fixing the moon

My husband, Anthony, was in hospital having his kidney removed. Cancer. I was back at the farm with our two-year-old son, Ming, waiting for a baby-sitter I’d never met. Ming was having his second asthma attack. The first had happened in the hospital, when Anthony was admitted.

Now I was grappling with the nebulizer, a distressed child and my husband’s predicament, the shock trapped in my throat.

I returned from the hospital that evening and paid the baby-sitter. Ming was asleep. Out on the front verandah, I sat down. It was the first time I’d ever been home without Anthony.

A little later, Ming toddled out, rubbing his eyes. He looked up at the half moon and said, seriously, “Moon bwoken.” Then he brushed his soft little face against mine. “Daddy can fixded it”’ he asked. I nodded and hugged him.

Two weeks later, Anthony was home. Ming wanted to wrestle him, so I swung our little boy onto my hip and took him outside. It was a dark night and there was a full moon.

Ming looked up and I felt his heartbeat quicken against mine. “Daddy fixded the moon, Mummy. Look!”

We went back inside and Ming climbed onto Anthony’s lap.

“Fankyou, Daddy”’ he said, “You’re a good boy.”

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Not getting notifications

Hi to any bloggers I subscribe to. I am not getting your blog posts via email for some reason, so, if I usually comment and haven’t done, that’s why. Perhaps the wordpress happiness engineers are doing something exciting? I will probably be excommunicated for saying that. Hopefully the glitch will be fixed soon so I can keep better contact. On the other hand it has been rather relaxing not reading all those blogs – ha! Julie

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Once upon a time

Once upon a time – not too long ago – we three were an inviolable, hilarious tribe.

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A beautiful song

Ming’s musical tastes are varied. Here is his latest favourite. Bring it on, Xavier Rudd!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmxSxKxBbQE&feature=related

[Note: I am not receiving any notifications from any of the blogs I follow, so will try to catch up as soon as this glitch is fixed]

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Parkinson’s disease and unpredictability

One of the worst things about Parkinson’s disease, especially in its final stages, is that no matter how diligent you, and other carers, and the sufferer, are with the timing of the medications (which is vital), what works well one day might not work the next day, or hour, or minute.

When I arranged for Anthony to be taxied to and from a restaurant the other day, in a wheelchair taxi, it was a great success except about an hour too long. He became exhausted.

Today I arranged for Anthony to be taxied to and from the farm but made sure it was less hours than the previous time. So he arrived at 11.30am and he and Ming sat out the front in the sunshine and it was great hearing them chat. Then I served a lunch of scrambled eggs (Anthony’s favourite except for fish mornay!) Then he got too hot in the sun so I got him back into the wheelchair and pushed it into the shade.

By this time (about an hour into the visit) Anthony had become very slumped and silent and our conversation was limited to my chatter with little response; he just wasn’t ‘with it’ and looked awful, you know, really sick. So, I rang the taxi people and asked for the wheelchair taxi to come earlier, then I rang the nursing lodge to tell them and that was fine.

Well, as soon as I had done that, he came good (‘come good’ is an Australianism for rallying I think). He got off the wheelchair and used his walking stick to shuffle around the garden a bit, went to the loo without needing much help and walked outside the front again, sat down and was suddenly in the mood for conversation. By this time it was around 2pm and I was wishing I hadn’t asked the taxi to come early because Ants would have lasted until the original time of 3pm

So when the taxi arrived, Anthony said, “Not already?” and looked so crestfallen that I could hardly bear it and kept saying to him, as I was wheelchairing him to the taxi, “I’m sorry – I’m sorry, you were all slumped – how was I supposed to know you would suddenly come good?”

After Ming I and I waved him off, I cried for my bad timing and Ming said, “When will you learn, Mum? It’s not your fault.”

By now, Ants will be back at the nursing lodge. And, until I get the taxi vouchers next Monday, this ‘genius’ taxi idea has so far cost over $200 and what for? The sadness far exceeded the joy today. Arghh!

Oh yeah, and the stupid geese didn’t do any frolicking while Anthony was here, and I didn’t get the roses pruned and I just tried to ring Ants and his phone is off again. On the other hand, weather-wise, it has been an extraordinarily beautiful sunny day, the phone hasn’t rung (I am not phoney), and Ming just went off to milk the cows happily.

But my main point is that the unpredictability of Parkinson’s disease can do your head in – whether you are the sufferer or the carer – and it is, therefore extremely difficult to ‘go with the flow’. I know I’ve posted the photo below before; this is Anthony nearly two years ago. He doesn’t look like this any more.

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Gender games

The only one of our geese whose gender I know for sure is Godfrey, which makes him a gander of course.  As for Pearl, Ola, Woodroffe, Seli and Diamond, I have no idea, except that Ola and Pearl seem smaller, friendlier and more polite than the others so I am assuming they are girls. This is Pearl who may or may not be wondering what s/he is too!

Lately there has been a great deal of flirtatious behaviour happening between the gang, which I have prudishly been turning a blind eye too. But today, with Anthony’s help (he is being taxied out for the day, and is much less prudish), I have decided to watch this flirtatious behaviour so I will know which of the gang members are female. That way I will be able to keep an eye on any possible eggs etc.

Watching gender games between geese is not for the faint-hearted.

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Faux pas (how do you say that in the plural?)

Sometimes I say things and the words come out in a way I hadn’t intented:

  • Like the time a very sophisticated woman came to visit and when she called out “You hoo” from the back door I was on the loo and I yelled out “Just a minute – I was just having a sit” meaning that I was reading a magazine. Unfortunately, she misheard “sit”.
  • Like the time I rang for an appointment with my chiropractor brother and said to the new receptionist, “I’m his brother” (I am a female).
  • Like the numerous times I have called Anthony “Mother” and my mother “Ants” (and I do the same thing with Ming and Anthony all the time!)
  • Like the time I recorded a telephone message on my work phone that ended with me saying “Seeya!” and was reprimanded for sounding unprofessional (I used to get that a lot).

Anyway sometimes the same thing happens with blogging. For example when I first started this blog and I was pressing this button and that button and any button, trying to figure it all out, I accidentally reblogged someone and, when I realized, I immediately trashed it. I have no idea who this was, but now that I am a more seasoned blogger I realize how hurtful and mysterious it would be to be reblogged and trashed in the space of a few minutes!

Then yesterday, when I reblogged a post and then wrote another post to explain why I felt BB’s post and the children’s cause were important, I said a few things about reblogging which may have been misinterpreted because I didn’t express them very well, so I will just add here that (a) I love being reblogged – don’t mind it a bit and find it flattering; (b) I don’t mind reading reblogs at all but often don’t have time; (c) I don’t particularly like to reblog others’ words because I like to write my own.

So I do hope I haven’t made a blogging faux pas as bad as the reblogging+trashing incident. And if you happen to be the person I unwittingly did this to, I apologize and promise to be your brother for life!

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A hesitant activist

Earlier today I reblogged a post written by Lady Barefoot Baroness who many may be familiar with. She and her friend have combined their talents, and a shared passion for child safety, to create a new blog, the details of which will be announced soon.  Here is the link to more information:

http://cobbies69.wordpress.com/2012/07/25/will-you-join-us/

Now, as I’ve said to Baroness, I don’t like reblogging because I often don’t read reblogs due to time constraints and I don’t think I am alone here. For newcomers to blogging, reblogging is when you read a post on someone else’s blog and you want to share it on your own blog, so you click ‘reblog’ which is what I did today. It is worth keeping in mind, however, that some bloggers do not want to be reblogged so it is important to ask their permission first. (I hope that is clearer than mud!)

My own passion for this cause is difficult for me to describe because the thought of any child being hurt appals and disturbs me, and I have a longstanding aversion to news items about child abductions and disappearances because, as I am a parent, I cannot imagine a worse horror.

Reblogging and linking my own readers into this cause has scared the hell out of me because I am a bit of a wimp in this way and certainly am no activist. However, if my reblog of Baroness’ most recent post and the link above can possible help find a lost child then it’s worthwhile – absolutely.

I will not reblog in the future; instead I will figure out how to put the message out there on my own blog. Please go to both of the aforementioned blogs to get more information and many thanks!

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Flower power

Anthony was/is crazy about flowers and we have dozens of rose trees and camellia trees and all sorts of other flowering things in the garden. The trouble is (a) he isn’t home anymore and he’s the one who tended to all of these gardening shenanigans; and (b) I loathe gardening.

Don’t get me wrong – I love gardens and flowers and trees and all of that, but I just wish they didn’t need so much help. The camellias are my favourites because they just thrive anyway, but the roses – oh the roses!

My beautiful friend, CB, has come over several times in order to teach me/help me to prune the roses and we have made a bit of headway but only because she does most of the work while I drink my coffee or struggle to find the stupid secater/scissor things (see, I can’t even spell the secatooooor word!) Nevertheless, she is very patient with my procrastinating ways.

Since I now really want to grow sunflowers, I realize that I must first prove to CB that I can prune those bloody roses and prove to her that I am a newly-fledged gardener. So tomorrow, or maybe the day after tomorrow, I am going to do it – yes! I have to do this before she comes over and sees that I haven’t done it.

I plan to invite her over on Friday afternoon to see the pruned roses and to get sunflower advice because she knows all about this gardening thing. That is one of the many reasons I adore her.

Here are a few pictures of the camellias that do not need anything except the occasional glance of appreciation!

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