jmgoyder

wings and things

Wide shoulders

Shoulders are interesting things. Husband, Son and I all have wide shoulders. Before Husband became so ill, he had a bit of a weight-lifter appearance but as he has ankylosing spondylitis as well as Parkinson’s, he is very bent over now. And before Son’s scoliosis got the better of him, he had the look of an athlete, but pre-surgery, one shoulder was much lower than the other so he had begun to look a little bit deformed when seen with his shirt off. As for me, despite the fact that shoulder pads are back ‘in’ (I know this from having read the fashion magazines in the hotel the other day), I will not need them as my shoulders are so wide that when I am in a queue I am often mistaken, by the person behind me, for a man. “Excuse me, mate,” I get all the time, until I turn around and they see my bright red lipstick!

Baby Turkey’s way of standing and walking always looks like she is wearing a dress with shoulder pads.

I couldn’t figure out who she reminded me of until I found the following pictures.

The Bubbles (the other turkeys) don’t strut their stuff like Baby Turkey does! Of course I mean no disrespect to Bea, from The Golden Girls, Lady Di or Gaga, but you have to admit the resemblance is rather striking!

Wide shoulders: a symbol of strength. Yes!

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Back to birding

Well, what an anti-climax my home-coming was this afternoon! I went straight to the bird yards to let the gang out thinking that they would greet me with expressions of relief and joy but, once I’d given them some lettuce, they lost interest in me and, within a minute of our reunion, they were off doing their usual thing – grazing, bathing, preening, cruising.

Both the ‘Bubbles’ were indifferent, the big Bubble particularly so. After they got their share of the lettuce, they just sauntered away. Baby Turkey didn’t even acknowledge me.

And the geese were even more indifferent to my renewed presence.

Even the peacocks had a definite air of ‘so what!’ about them when they saw me.

I feel a little indignant at their nonchalance; Godfrey didn’t even try to bite me and I’d been looking forward to our usual afternoon wrestling match.

What a bunch of bird brains!

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Say ‘please’!

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Recovery

This is Son in ICU (Intensive Care Unit). Since then he has been moved to a ward but is in a single room where he will stay for three days due to some infection risk or something. He is starving, having eaten nothing for over 48 hours but he can’t eat yet because he keeps vomiting from the morphine. I stayed for a few hours and he had a couple of visitors but after they left he started to cry and my maternal presence just made it worse so he asked me to go, so here I am back at the hotel hoping he has gone to sleep for the night, hoping that the nurses will adore him, hoping that we have done the right thing, hoping that tomorrow will come quickly and I can see him again.

I subscribe to a blog by a beautiful woman who had the same operation and her description below says it all:

http://thecurvyspine.wordpress.com/

I don’t think Son and I were quite prepared for this! So far, I have restrained myself from crying but I have made an appointment with my tears for exactly 8.15pm with a 15-minute limit, then I’ll watch another hotel movie….

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Waiting

Son, Husband and I have spent a lot of time in various doctors’ waiting rooms over the last year or so, waiting and waiting and WAITING.

I can’t stand waiting. If I am meeting someone for lunch or something and they are late, I get cross; if I am heading for traffic lights and they turn from green to orange, I race ahead because red lights make me see red, especially when the red takes a century to turn green; if I ask Son to do a chore and he says, “just give me a minute”, I want to strangle him; if I am on the freeway and I get stuck behind one of those morons drivers who is in the passing lane but doesn’t pass the the driver in the slow lane, grrrrr  … well, you get the picture.

So yesterday, while I waited for Son’s operation to be over with and for the hospital to ring me, the waiting nearly killed me. All of the seconds became minutes and all of the minutes became hours and all of the hours became days. I watched two videos in my hotel room (but I can’t remember what they were about); I went for walks around the city with my mobile phone clutched in my shirt pocket against my heart; I came back to the hotel and ate and drank everything from the minibar; I made a million phonecalls to tell people I was still waiting; I had three showers and two naps; I blogged; I read all of the magazines in the hotel room, so now I am an expert in Perth fashion; I rang the hospital five times; I rang Husband five times … well, you get the picture.

Since Son is still in ICU, I am staying in Perth for one more night and good friends are checking on animals for me. I’m sure Godfrey will be waiting too, with great anticipation, for my return. After all, it’s been nearly three days since he’s been able to do his favourite thing which is to bite me. Wait away, Godfrey!

And now I’m off to the hospital again (hotel is only two blocks away) to see Son and wait for his transfer from ICU to a ward. I have been told that this will happen some time after 4pm so I anticipate some more waiting – mmmmmmm!

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The long and short of it

I am well aware that my posts have become rather sloppily sentimental and even solipistic lately (and I hate solipsism!) I’m also very, very aware that Husband, Son and I are extremely fortunate in so many ways and that our recent troubles are nothing compared to many other people’s situations. I have wanted to say that for some time.

Son’s scoliosis surgery took over seven hours today and tonight he is the intensive care unit attached to a multitude of tubes. As soon as I was allowed to, I went to see him, but he was too groggy to really know I was there, although when I touched one of his hands, he grabbed it and, with his eyes still closed, and with great difficulty (as if my hand were a boulder), raised it to his lips and kissed it.

One of the things the nurses were doing was measuring his height and joking about how tall he would be now. This was a pre-operative joke too which didn’t really resonate with me until today when I remembered how extremely tall Son used to be. He was over 6 feet when the scoliosis went mad and shrunk him; previous to this he had always been ‘the tall kid’. Here he is pictured with two of his cousins who are both four years older than him. Son is on the left.

Okay, moving on now … tomorrow I will see Son, then go home to the birds. One of the funniest phonecalls I made from this hotel room was to my beautiful mother last night.

Me: I’m really worried.

Mother: Of course you are – this is huge surgery.

Me: No, I’m worried about the birds while I’m away. I left heaps of food and water but….

There was a bit of a pause!

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Applause please….

It’s difficult not to draw comparisons between some of our birds and Son, when it comes to performance and ‘look at me’ behaviour. And yet, paradoxically, this behaviour is both selfconscious and utterly unselfconscious at the same time.

Yesterday afternoon, I left Son in what the hospital calls ‘the transit lounge’ (where you wait until your bed is ready) and drove to my hotel to check in. A bit later I walked back to the hospital and, on impulse, bought Son a huge teddy bear and three chocolate hearts at the hospital’s gift shop. When I finally found his room, the teddy bear elicited gales of laughter from the other three guys in his room, one of whom said, “And we thought he was a macho machine!” A nurse came in and asked what teddy’s name was and I said, “Mummy”, so she then labelled him with a sticker. More hilarity.

I was then allowed to take Son out for dinner which surprised me as his head was adorned with electrodes in readiness for today’s surgery. I know I already posted this photo last night but it’s worth another look:

So we took a taxi from the hospital to Leederville where we were meeting friends. In his usual, gregarious way (just like Husband!), Son struck up a conversation with the taxi driver who told us he wasn’t allowed to go home until much later or his wife (“the captain”) would send him right back out there. Son then told him why he had electrodes glued to his head and the taxi driver grinned and said, “That’s good, I thought you were one of those hooligan types.”

Once out of the taxi, Son and I found the burger joint where we were meeting our friends but, since we were early, we went across the road to a pub where we shared a pint of lager. Son’s head elicited a few startled glances but, as there was some sort of street performance thing happening, he didn’t get as much attention as expected. “Don’t worry about these, mate,” Son said to the bartender, pointing to his head, “I’m having an operation tomorrow.” The bartender just smiled as if to say, ‘Yeah, ‘right’.

Wake up soon, my little peacock! I applaud you….

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Valentine’s Day Eve 2012

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Growing a spine

You know those sayings: ‘he’s got spine’ or ‘she’s spineless’ or ‘grow a spine’? Yeah, well, tomorrow, Son will literally be growing a spine. Here is an animated version of what is going to be done during his scoliosis surgery (don’t worry, there’s no blood!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBIf4AQj5s0

This morning we left home at around 9am to get to the hospital by 11.30am for Son to see the neurologist, who glued electrodes to his head (these will be connected before his surgery tomorrow in order to monitor how his spinal cord is doing during the op.) The electrodes are multi-coloured so he looks very reggae-ish!

Then, because I was parked (twice!) in one hour parking zones, I left Son at the hospital to be admitted and drove to my hotel to check in. As it’s only walking distance from the hospital, I’ll set out in a minute to go back. He’s allowed to go out for dinner so we are meeting our friend, Nathalie at 6pm for a burger. Nat is the one who got me into blogging in the first place. She set me up (in a good way I mean!)

http://theinfinitegame.org/

I just found out I’m not allowed to see Son before his surgery at 8am tomorrow because he’ll be getting prepped much earlier in the morning. Son is okay with this, but I’m not – I just wanted to see him off. Apparently he won’t be ‘see-able’ until around 5pm tomorrow so it’s going to be a long, waiting day in Perth for me.

Son is very up and very positive. That kid has a lot of (metaphorical) spine! He didn’t even baulk when he found out he would have around four surgeons, two anaesthetists, and multiple other specialists involved in the surgery – yikes!

My beautiful, spineful boy!

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