If you care for a loved one who has an illness, your good thoughts might sometimes be criss-crossed with bad thoughts like the following:
– I’m so sick of you and this situation!
– You aren’t who you were and I loathe the way you are now.
– Thanks for ruining my life!
– Please stop needing me!
– Thanks for giving me the guilts!
– Why can’t you just die instead of suffering like this?
– I hate loving you.
I told Anthony that sometimes I felt like this and he hugged me close and let me cry.
Anthony and I visited Arthur today in the hostel where he has temporarily been placed.
We wanted to see if he was okay and we were both relieved to find that he was much more than okay; he thought he had died and gone to heaven! Not really, of course, but for this decrepit old man to move from a decrepit old hut to a nice warm room with lots of friendly people, lots of regular meals and attentive carers is like, in his words, “a luxury holiday!”
Arthur doesn’t seem to miss Tina Turner at all! I can’t imagine why….
jmgoyder 