jmgoyder

wings and things

Difficult decision

Before I even took Gutsy9 to the vet today, I did a bit of research and discovered that his feet are slightly splayed, especially one, mostly due to being brought up inside rather than outside. The injury to his toe is insignificant in comparison to the structural damage caused by him mostly walking on a floor instead of grass and dirt.

The vet gave me some calcium mix for Gutsy9 (which of course he won’t eat!) but she and her consultant seemed to think his legs might never be normal. The photo I posted of Gutsy9 on the table was taken a few weeks ago. Since then, all of his toes have gradually become crooked and one leg goes backwards instead of forwards. It is possible, that he was born with a defect but I don’t know.

What I do know, however, is that he is unlikely to ever be able to survive outside. I took him out for 3 hours this afternoon and, if I hadn’t been watching, he would have been pecked to death by the adult peas and the gang, he would have drowned in the pond, or he would have been taken by a crow.

He is sitting on my lap now, nearly asleep, but cheeping more than usual. His legs don’t seem strong enough to hold his growing body and I am worried that he might be in pain.

Ming and I will decide tomorrow. I think we will have to put Gutsy9 down.

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Enough is enough

I never intended for this blog to become so personal and I certainly didn’t intend for it to become so sad. It was a blog about our adventures with birds – a way of cheering the three of us (Anthony, Ming and me) UP!

How was I supposed to know that Anthony’s Parkinson’s would escalate, then collide with Ming’s spinal surgery? How was I supposed to know that we would have to find a nursing home, that I would have to resign from my job, that I would have to figure out Ming’s post-op. requirements, that we would lose many of our birds to foxes?

How was I supposed to know what last year would entail – Ming’s anger, Anthony’s sorrow, my despair? Obviously I don’t have very good foresight.

I do, however, have pretty good hindsight and tonight I have realized that enough is enough, that I am not going to allow myself to die because Ants is dying, that I am not going to allow myself get angry because Ming is angry, that I am not going to allow myself to sink into this self-pitying quicksand of despair.

Apologies for recent posts.

Enough is enough!

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Learning about loss

This morning Ming had to put our beautiful Malay rooster out of its misery because it had been injured by one of our dogs who somehow got to him despite pen arrangements.

Malay was one of the chicks that hatched here under a shed and grew up to be majestic, proud and confident. He was able to fly up into a tree if he sensed danger. He must have been taken by surprise and I feel a sense of devastation and guilt.

Blaze (miniature dachschund) and Jack (Irish terrier) have never attempted to kill any of the peafowl or guinnea fowl, or even the geese. They go for the chooks, so I have decided that it is too risky to have chooks anymore. The wild foxes get them too despite all my protective methods (fox lights, sturdy yards etc.)

I am learning a lot about loss lately.

http://www.mamamia.com.au/social/i-am-a-murderer-but-i-do-it-for-love/

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Parkinson’s paradoxes

When most people hear the term ‘Parkinson’s Disease’, they tend to think of Michael J Fox and the Parkinson’s that make you shake, move haphazardly or suffer debilitating tremors. Anthony’s type of PD is not like that and is often termed ‘Parkinsonism’. His symptoms have included a dramatic loss of movement. In many ways this is a kinder PD because of the lack of tremors but on the other hand the crippling immobility of brain/body has been a long, slow series of gradual shocks. First his hands couldn’t do things like open a jar of vegemite, steer a car, operate a chainsaw; then his face stopped ‘working’ in the sense that he no longer smiled and he stopped blinking, so that his eyes took on a blank look. I have already written about some of these things in previous posts so I won’t repeat myself.

One of the most noticeable things about Anthony’s PD is his stillness. Before the nursing lodge he would sit for hours on the front verandah in complete stillness. Sometimes he would be so still that the blue wrens would alight on his lap not realizing he was a human. Sometimes he would be so still I would think he’d died. Sometimes he would be so still he would drop his cup of tea.

Well, today I took Gutsy9, the baby peacock, in again to see Ants at the nursing lodge and guess who loved Anthony’s stillness?

IMG_1771IMG_1766IMG_1774

IMG_1772

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Who let the dogs out?

Remember this song?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He82NBjJqf8&noredirect=1

For some time now we have had a dogs versus birds dilemma and this has been a source of contention between Ming and me. I have tended to lock the dogs in their yard and let the birds free range and Ming has wanted this arrangement reversed, so we have now come to a compromise. The dogs get to run free all morning, then get put back into their yard, then the poultry get to free range all afternoon until we put them away, then the dogs get another run. So far this is working very well.

The reason we can’t let them all frolic together is because the dogs want to kill everything. Blaze is a miniature dachschund and Jack is an Irish terrier so, despite our attempts to train them not to kill (using electric collar things briefly which I didn’t like, and a dog trainer) both breeds have been bred to hunt and kill.

Luckily the guinnea fowl and peafowl can fly up and away from dog danger, but none of the poultry can – not even Godfrey – so now we have a new system and everyone seems very happy – the gang, the dogs and Ming and me.

They look so innocent don’t they!

Don’t be fooled by their sweet demeanours; Ming let them out a bit early the other afternoon, before the roosters were roosting, and they killed Noname and Tina Turner almost instantaneously. Poor Ming tried to stop it but had to come and tell me. I cried my eyes out even though Tina and I had such a love/hate relationship. Noname was always a bit vulnerable and an easy target so I guess, for me, this was another lesson learned.

I’m not sure if getting accustomed to loss is a good or a bad thing.

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Whose egg is this?

The chooks lay all of their eggs in the same place – in the chook house – and Tapper, the duck, lays hers there too. The geese, on the other hand lay them anywhere and everywhere. There aren’t that many goose eggs but every now and then I see one in the middle of the lawn and I wonder whose egg it is. Then, the other day, I was sitting at my little picnic table near the bird yards and Ola just popped one out right in front of me (it’s the same one I put into Ming’s scrambled eggs the other night).

I have now asked Ola if she wouldn’t mind laying her eggs in the yard. She has agreed.

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Eggs galore!

Chooky: Here you are, Julie.

Me: Oh, thank you, Chooky!

Chooky: Sometimes I amaze myself.

[Note: Actually these eggs were a joint project shared by Chooky’s five identical sisters]

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Rooster rage 1

Take a good look at this gorgeous rooster (named Tina Turner for obvious reasons) because you may not see him again.

Why? Well, quite simply, I have fallen out of love with him.

Why? Because he attacked my left leg the other day (the same leg attached to the twisted ankle) with such ferocity that he drew blood in five areas above and below my knee.

Ming had a friend visiting and, as I limped back to the house, I showed this friend my blood-stained jeans and he was very sympathetic (not).

Okay, so for the next few days these puncture wounds got bigger and infected and I could hardly walk and I had to get antibiotics. The worse it got, the more determined I became to outwit my foe.

Keep tuned for the next enthralling episode.

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Sigh

Bubble: I miss the emus.

Seli: So do I.

Woodroffe: So do I.

Angelina: So do I.

King: So do I.

Okami: So do I.

Pearly: So do I.

Malay: So do I.

Phoenix 1: So do I.

Ming: Well I DON’T!

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Gelotology – the study of laughter

Today I discovered that I am just as skilled at laughing as I am at crying, so I googled ‘laughing’ and found another new word!

Today I told Anthony that I had rung the taxi company to get the money back for the unnecessary second trip yesterday and we would be reimbursed, but all he could say was, “I didn’t like the way that taxi driver put his arm around you.” I couldn’t stop laughing.

Today I wrote a blogpost about being nagged by Ming, our 18-year-old son and the first thing he said when he got home from music school was, “What’s this dirt on the carpet? You came inside with your boots on didn’t you.” I couldn’t stop laughing.

Today, one of our roosters, Tina Turner, who has taken over the whole chook harem, attacked me more viciously than ever before when I went to feed the hens. He drew blood! Well, I kicked him in self-defense and he somersaulted in the air. I couldn’t stop laughing (it’s okay, he is fine as you can see – he loves to dance on that table!)

Today I rang the guy who has repaired our nearly dead ute (truck) and explained why we still hadn’t picked it up and he started singing a refrain from that song ‘Julie, Julie, Julie, do you love me?’

I couldn’t stop laughing!

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