jmgoyder

wings and things

‘The doll thing’

In yesterday’s post I rather clumsily referred to “doll therapy” as ‘the doll thing’ so here is a short explanation: it is simply the provision of life-like baby dolls for people with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia. Doll therapy, sometimes called “baby doll therapy”, has been used in the care of people with dementia for over 20 years but is still controversial. http://www.dementiacareaustralia.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=60&Itemid=81 This morning I did some online research in the hope that I would find some life-like dolls that were less than hundreds of dollars each; alas, they are very expensive. In the dementia house where I work there are two baby dolls that are semi-life-like but, as there are more than two women who love these dolls, we need a few more. Pros and cons: In my opinion, the pros far outweigh the cons of this kind of therapy because I have seen how comforting it is for someone to have a doll in her arms that she sees as a very real baby. However, it can be quite confronting for relatives and even new care-givers to see this kind of simulation unfold and the most common complaint is that it is demeaning and undignified. Now that I have formed a very strong opinion on the pro side, I would ask the person who said the other day, “What’s with the doll?” in front of the woman holding her ‘baby’ in the wheelchair I was pushing, to justify this insensitive comment. But now I get it – I get how ‘the doll thing’ upsets people; it is a sight (mother and baby) that hits the core of the beginning of uncertainty. If Doll Therapy comforts your mother, grandmother, friend, then why do you criticise it? And if you do, at least have the decency to dignify your criticism with a more than once-a-month visit to her. The dolls are more reliable.

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Attraction

Attraction is a weird thing because, even though this ‘pull’ is usually to do with the romantic urges of the young, it still has a very powerful influence on the confused emotions of the aged.

Many of the ten women in the dementia house ‘see’ staff and/or other residents as men, possibly because most of us have short hair. So there are often small cries or salutations to ‘Joe’ or ‘Fred’ or ‘Henry’ and we (staff) have to loom close to cover the invisibility of those absent presences. There is no strict rule about how to answer the question of ‘where is Richard?’ but most of us go with the flow and say that he will be back soon.

The doll thing used to give me the horrors because it seemed so totally odd, even patronizing, but I have changed my mind now due to the need many of these beautiful women have – just to hold a baby again.

Attraction: a weird and wonderful experience of opposites, failings, clumsy sentences, beautiful, unusual, extraordinary human beings but mostly a desire to know that interesting person better.

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