jmgoyder

wings and things

Duck dynamics 1

Me: What’s wrong, Zaruma? Why are you hiding?

Zaruma: I’m not hiding, Julie, I just need to be alone for awhile to think things through.

Me: Well come out and socialize soon please. I don’t like to see you like this.

Zaruma: I’m a bit sad – very sad actually – about Tapper. I thought she was my girlfriend but now she seems to like Daffy. I didn’t know she was a fence-sitter when we first met.

Me: I didn’t either, Zaruma, but according to my research, monogamy is not a requirement in duckdom.

Zaruma: But how can she compare my handsomeness to that daffy Daffy’s? I would really appreciate your honest opinion here, Julie.

Me: Okay, Zaruma, it’s quite possibly due to your lack of hygiene. Clean yourself up and go and have a talk to Tapper, then come back and we’ll discuss it further, okay?

Zaruma: Thanks, Julie. I’ll meet you at the back veranda door at 5pm. I am just warning you that I might have to bite Daffy in the meantime.

Me: You do what you have to do, Zaruma – you were my first duck, so I fully support whatever you think is best.

Zaruma: I’m a drake, Julie, not a duck.

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For the love of geese and ducks

The gang get very excited when they see me.

They push the guinneas out of the way and rush towards me gleefully.

Their happy-to-see-me honking is deafening!

Their faces are alight with love….

…. of lettuce!

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Assertiveness

Daffy: I’m scared, Bubble. Godfrey is approaching me.

Bubble: Stand up straight, Daffy, and he’ll have much more respect for you. Oh, and if he speaks to you, answer in a loud voice, not your usual whisper.

Godfrey: Good afternoon, young man.

Daffy: GOOD AFTERNOON, SIR!

Daffy: Wow, that felt good and he just walked past me – he didn’t tell me off or anything! I just wish I could have looked him in the eye, but I’m too frightened.

Bubble: I can give you daily lessons in eye contact beginning right now, Daffy. Okay, now look at me and try not to blink.

Daffy: I did it, I did it, Bubble! I looked Godfrey straight in the eye for a whole minute. He was asleep but it still counts for my certificate doesn’t it?

Bubble: Well done, Daffy, but I will need to give you a few more lessons [sigh!]

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Anti-bullying tactics

1. Identify the bully [this is Godfrey, the godfather of ganderdom].

2. Contemplate what to do with the bully situation [Bubble and Baby Turkey contemplating Godfrey].

3. Plan out a strategy.

4. Walk away from the bully.

5. Attack the bully if need be [Baby Turkey attacking Godfrey, with Bubble supervising so that Godfrey doesn’t get hurt, but is taught a lesson].

6. Turn the other cheek [Woodroffe and Diamond demonstrating this].

7. Ignore the bully and leave him next to the rubbish bins for at least one hour!

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Marching orders and mutiny

Godfrey: FOLLOW ME, EVERYONE!

Bubble (whispering): Baby Turkey, I have a plan. We’ll humour the old grouch for a few minutes and then we’ll pounce.

Baby Turkey: What does ‘pounce’ mean?

Bubble: You’ll see.

Gang: Oh no – not again!

Geese: Since when did Daffy lead the way?

Daffy: I’m the one most terrified of Godfrey.

Godfrey: That’s it – Hup, two three four, hup, two, three, four! Come on, turkeys, keep up!

Bubble: You grab his wings and I’ll peck his eyes out.

Baby Turkey: Oh, is that what you meant by ‘pounce’? Yes – let’s do it!

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A duck called ‘Zaruma’

This is Zaruma drinking hesitantly from the water trough for the emus.

This is Zaruma trying to hide the fact that he is drinking from the emus’ trough.

This is Zaruma promising me that he will not actually get into the drinking trough.

This is Zaruma after having a swim in the trough.

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My phrase was plagiarized!

 

I was trying to diagnose my state of mind/heart the other day and came up with the phrase ‘prolonged grief’ and, until I googled it, I thought I was the originator of this phrase. Not so! I found the following article very interesting but not particularly useful when it comes to the prolonged grief that so many people suffer before the loss of death.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/grieving/2012/03/complicated_grief_and_the_dsm_the_wrongheaded_movement_to_list_mourning_as_a_mental_disorder_.html

It seems that Daffy’s Dotty has, indeed, disappeared and she has probably been killed by that fox. His daily quacking has become hoarse with grief.

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Afternoon antics

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Six new chooks!

In the interests of equalizing the male/female ratio here, I have now purchased six pullets (‘teenage’ hens about to lay eggs) and have confined them to the original chook pen where they are adjusting with a mixture of trepidation and delight. Surrounded by peafowl and guinnea fowl – who fly in and out of the pen whenever they feel like it – the six new chooks are experiencing a kind of culture shock I guess. All four roosters are not allowed into the pen yet so they cockadoodledoo outside the pen constantly but they don’t seem particularly amorous, more curious – maybe even alarmed.

One of my BFFs (being acronymically challenged, I didn’t even know what this meant until last week) helped me pick the new chooks up and gave me some chook advice, as she has had chooks for years.

Daffy wants to join the newbies since Dotty, his ‘wife’ seems to have disappeared. I suspect she is sitting on eggs somewhere but have not been able to find her and Daffy quacks all day for her – his loneliness is gutwrenching. I hope she hasn’t been taken by that fox.

So – another new poultry mini-chapter. Let’s hope it all works out because I want eggs again!

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‘What about me?’

Bubble: It’s not fair. She always forgets about me and I was here long before that show-off, Baby Turkey.

Zaruma: I hear you, bro – I was hurt to be left out of that ‘I thought this was a bird blog’ post too. Julie seems to have forgotten that we were here first.

Bubble: Well, not technically, Zaruma. Perhaps I should have told you this earlier but you and I are actually named after the original Bubble and Zaruma.

Zaruma: Yeah, I’ve heard about those guys.

Bubble: They were heroes.

Zaruma: What happened to them?

Bubble: It was terrible. The first Bubble got bitten by that rotten dog and the first Zaruma died in his sleep. Julie and Ming cried and cried.

Zaruma: Wow, I didn’t know.

Bubble: There’s a lot you don’t know.

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