I don’t think many people recognize, and acknowledge, the kind of fear that a person with any kind of dementia can experience. Anthony has PDD but can still vocalize his fears, especially after the sun goes down (Sundowner’s syndrome).
About 15 minutes ago, I rang him on his new phone and he actually picked up (doesn’t always remember how) and he was frightened and utterly delusional, thinking that he was at his brother’s house and that a storm had destroyed it, and asking me to come and rescue him. His words were garbled and frantic. I tried to calm him down, then told him I would ring the nurse but he said I wouldn’t be able to get hold of a nurse because of all the workmen were around and it was dangerous.
So then I rang the nurse and told her and she said she would go and check on him and get back to me. There is now an anti-anxiety drug that has been prescribed for these occasions so I reminded her of that.
Now I am waiting for her phone-call. As I wait, I think, with great distress, about how, from time to time, Anthony becomes absolutely terrified at night. PDD and, paradoxically, some of the medications used to treat it, can cause hallucinations, paranoia, confusion of space and time, and fear.
Anthony’s bouts of terror usually only last about half an hour which is the same amount of time it would take me to drive into town and ‘rescue’ him.
When is scared like this, he becomes more articulate despite the fact that what he describes isn’t real. Very soon, I think, he will not be able to talk at all, so it is very important for me that I understand his fear, and try to reassure him. I was in this afternoon, seeing him, and there was no indication he might have one of these ‘episodes’ despite the fact that he was very confused.
I am not just spilling my guts here – I am also saying that if your loved one has dementia but has ceased to speak, they might have the FEAR thing too so your voice on a phone, your visit, your touch, a hug, a cake, a blanket or a cup of tea might just alleviate that.
My heart breaks for those suffering this kind of fear in silence. I just spoke to the nurse and Anthony is apparently okay again and he is being put to bed but what if he is still really afraid? I am so worried, but I won’t be able to see Ants until tomorrow morning by which time he may have forgotten the fear. Oh I hope so.
He is, and always will be, my hero.
[ps. not keeping up with other blogs atm – sorry]