1. You do cut newspapers up into little squares just in case
2. You do quickly search the internet for innovative ideas with historical credence so that you can add a bit of knowledgable weight to just in case
2. You do not ring a friend who hasn’t been invited and ask to borrow toilet paper which of course you can’t possibly return anyway
3. You do not panic and berate yourself for being so disorganized and hopeless and disorganized and hopeless
4. You do decide not to give your visitors any sustenance whatsoever
4. You do not entertain the idea of suggesting to your visitors that they ‘go’ outside since they are all women and would find this distasteful
5. You do not contemplate the possibility that one of your visitors might be suffering from a gastric disturbance
6. You do meekly ask one of your visitors (when she rings to say she is on her way and can she bring anything) to please bring some toilet paper
7. You do restrain yourself from being too effusively grateful to the visitor who is bringing the toilet paper
8. You do begin to now wish there were a bit more sustenance in the house
9. You do hope that the car you can hear pulling up in the driveway belongs to the visitor who is bringing the toilet paper because you have to go
10. You do not panic when it is one of the other visitors
11. You do not, during the lovely visit with three of your best friends, continually punctuate the conversation with offers to use the toilet
12. You do wonder why the only person who needed to use the toilet, during the visit, was you.
jmgoyder 