wings and things

Wrong number


I have been trying to find someone to shear the alpacas, Okami and Uluru, because I didn’t get around to organizing this in January. They are not overly woolly and seem to be pretty happy because there is lots of water and shade, but it is very hot and March might be even hotter.

So I got a mobile phone number from someone who knew someone who might know a shearer and yesterday I rang it (assuming I was ringing someone who lived nearby). This was how the phone conversation unfolded:

Shearer: Yeah?
Me: Oh hello, I was just wondering if you shear alpacas.
Shearer (not a shearer): Not me, mate, naah, but me neighbor might.
Me: Would it be okay if you asked him for me? I don’t live very far away.
Shearer (not a shearer): No worries, love. Bloody hot isn’t it!
Me: Yes, that’s what I’m worried about, you know for the alpacas.
Shearer (who I will now call Man): Bitches?
Me: Well, no, it’s two males actually.
Man: Yeah I’ll sort it for you, mate – where do ya live?
Me: Paradise Road – not far from Dardanup.
Man: Where the fxxxx is that?
Me: I thought you lived in Dardanup!
Man: I’m in Queensland, darling!
Me: Oh, I’m so sorry – I think I must have rung the wrong number.
Man: No problems, love, better than the telly!
Me: Well, thanks so much and sorry for bothering you like this.
Man: Best fun I’ve had for ages, mate!
Me (laughing): Good to meet you, whoever you are and thanks!

This would have to be the best ‘wrong number’ situation I have ever experienced!



Wrong number!

I just got an awful shock when I realized why the scary man on the phone is so angry. Let me explain:

The scary man rang me the other day on the home phone and here is how the conversation unfolded:

Me: Hello?

Scary Man: Hello.

Me: Is that … ? Sorry, who am I speaking to?

Scary Man: No, love, I’d like to know who I’m speaking to.

Me: But you rang me.

Scary Man: You got that wrong – you have rung me and hung up around seven times now.

Me: Sorry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Scary Man: You ring me in the night and hang up just as I’m answering the phone. What is your name!

Me: Julie!

Scary Man: Julie who?

Me: Come on – I hate this joke thing. Who is this?

Scary Man: Oh, you hate this joke thing – so why do you keep waking me up late at night?

Me: What are you talking about? Sorry, are you the builder from Boyanup?

Scary Man: I’m not a bloody builder. Where are you ringing from?

Me: Western Australia.

Scary Man: Well I’m in Queensland, girlie and if you keep on ringing me ….

Me: I’m not ringing you – I’m so sorry – we’ve had a severe storm recently so maybe it’s the telephone wires or something?

Then, a few days later, the scary man rang again and Ming answered and this time the guy was extremely aggressive on the phone and I could hear Ming apologizing and assuring the man we hadn’t rung him.

I couldn’t work out the conundrum until I found out that I had one digit wrong in my nephew’s phone number (who I’d been trying to ring for a few days), so I thought that must be it.

Until yesterday. Yesterday, I rang Anthony’s mobile number and guess who answered – yes, it was the scary man! His voice is deep and gravelly and totally recognizable. In terror I quickly said, ‘Oh, sorry, I have the wrong number,’ and quickly hung up.

Okay, in a previous post, I described my method of ringing Anthony. Because he is slow to answer, I let the phone ring four times, hang up, then four times again and hang up and he sometimes answers on the third try. I do this around three times per day if I am not going in to visit.

I must have misdialled a few times and obviously the scary man’s phone number is similar to Anthony’s. I am now much more careful when I dial! And, since Queensland is two hours ahead of us, that explains the late night thing.

I am so glad the scary man lives in Queensland and not around the corner!


Wrong number

There was a mix-up (not mine) with Son’s appointment to see his surgeon so we were quickly rescheduled and I wrote it down. Then today I suddenly realized I would need to make the appointment later that day as we live two hours away and etc. So I rang back.

Me (on the phone):

Hi, it’s me again, Julie, about that appointment for my son, I really need to change it to later in the day because I didn’t realize I had another appointment earlier and we live 200 kms down south so what would be the best way to do this, should I ring the other number or should I cancel my other appointment so I can make this appointment because my son really needs to see the surgeon because it’s five weeks and someone made a mistake and he wasn’t booked until end of April but we can’t wait that long because the surgeon said he would need to see my son four weeks post-op., can you advise me, oh sorry and what’s your name again, I don’t want to forget it because you’ve been so helpful, really grateful for everything and he’s doing really well but I was getting a bit worried when I didn’t get a letter from the hospital about the appointment.

Woman (on the other end of the phone):

I’m sorry, but I’m a bit confused.  My name’s Verity but this is BodyTrim.

[Me: Pause, gasp, cringe!]

Needless to say, Verity and I had a huge laugh!