When Anthony has been wheelchair-taxied home and back he has had a variety of drivers. One of those drivers is a lovely woman who dropped in unexpectedly yesterday morning on her day off to ask about buying peachicks. We exchanged phone numbers so that I could ring her if we are lucky to get any hatchlings but admitted that I wasn’t sure what the chances were due to our fox problem. Also the peafowl are very independent so I don’t know if and where the peahens are laying (I obviously need to do some research!)
Anyway, during our short conversation, she asked when ‘hubby’ was coming home again and I said I had begun to think this was a bad idea because it upset him so much to go back to the nursing lodge after being here with us. She disagreed and said that even though he is upset each time she takes him back, it is well worth it for his sake, to be home even if it’s only briefly. “It’s the same for every person,” she said, “Don’t stop bringing him home.”
So guess what? Anthony is being wheelchair-taxied home in around 2 hours, for lunch and the afternoon. Wish us luck!
Oh no – I better hurry up and hide those two pots with the dead azaleas in them! On the other hand, Anthony does know that I am not a gardener.
jmgoyder 
hope all goes well with your visit
Thanks Terry – so hard to know what is the best thing to do and I keep changing my stupid mind! You ok? Jxx
yes i am ok, I am more concerned in what you have to deal with in a bit, let me know how it goes
He’ll be here in half an hour – yikes! It has been a couple of weeks at least since he came home.
good luck my friend
Do what ya feels.
I am not sure what I feel – I keep changing my mind!
Women are allowed to do that, hadn’t you heard?
Hope it is a good visit Julie… and a happy one for Ant…. good luck and have a good time… whew I hope shes right..
I hope so too – thanks BD!
Hope all is going well Julie, but if not jsut know that we are all pulling for you and Ants and Ming. Sending good wishes your way. 🙂
It was bearable – just.
Have a lovely time, Julie! 😀
I tried but …. oh well.
you know i am wishing you the best and hoping all goes well for you and your man! be careful making your decisions based on what others think. we all have opinions but none of us live in your skin nor do we know anthony and what is best for you all.
You are so right!
I would have to agree with the nice taxi lady. Even though it seems upsetting, I’m sure he would much rather go to the farm than sit at the nursing home all day. I might be a little slow on news, but what happened with your idea of working at the nursing lodge?
I have a mild scoliosis so it was a no go.
Hope you have a wonderful time together; albeit a brief one… I like the idea… Please don’t stress too much on it Julie… Sending love and hugs your way. 😉
Despite the good parts of the afternoon it really is getting too awful like I said in previous post so I am rethinking things yet again!
I hope all goes well dear Julie, Good Luck and have a nice day, love, nia
There is nothing wrong with changing your mind – it’s what keeps us sane. I hope you enjoy the outing.
Apart from a funny incident it was pretty crap – argh!
you never know where you are going to get (hopefully good) advice do you – hope it goes well
I am mulling the day over now that it is behind us.
Julie — I think all of us probably have advice to give — yet, none of us truly know your situation and its many challenging and heart-breaking realities — which means our advice would only be based on what we ‘think’ not what is true and real and important for you and Anthony and Ming.
The fact you tried again and it was still challenging confirms what you already know — it is hard on everyone.
Whatever you choose to do, it is a choice you are making from your kind and loving heart — because that’s who you are and how you are in the world.
Hugs
Thanks Louise – I guess I just had to try again. I am now thinking of trying to get a counseller to come and help me tell Ants that home is not possible. The emotional toll on Ming and me (in different ways) is too much – much too ghastly to describe on the blog but I am sure you understand. Jxx
I was waiting for the taxi woman to say something like yeah he’s grumpy at first but then he starts talking about how much fun he had or something. I bet Ants brags you and Ming up with someone, hope that gets back to you via the grape vine. I like how easily you connect with people like this taxi woman…you have a welcoming spirit.
Unfortunately (according to friends and family who visit) he has begun to say nasty things about me abandoning him etc. I know he can’t help it, I know it’s the disease but it is hard to hear that he forgot I came in to see him yesterday etc. His new anger scares me.
Oh Julie, I’m so sorry to hear that. I hate that you’re hurting so much. (((hugs)))
It’s okay my good friend – just need to figure things out again!
I’m sure you will Julie! xo
Thanks for your moral support, Diana!
Good luck with your visit, Julie. Don’t let his negativity get you down. It’s the disease as you well know, but it hurts just the same. Kathy
Thanks, Kathy – it wasn’t that great. I need a new strategy to save my sanity! Went out and took some pics of the birds after Ants was picked up by taxi – very cheering . Juliexxx
Wow, it must be …. Such a dilemma for you – and what I see from your replays didn’t go that great. Feel so deep for you – it’s so dishearten to read about your day. Julie, you have to follow your heart on this one and your common sense, it’s so easy for us that isn’t in your seat to give good advice and so the taxi woman. Wish there was something I could do to lighten your situation.
What happen with the idea about work some hours at the lodge ????
Ironically I too have scoliosis (obviously not as bad as Ming’s) so the nursing lodge can’t employ anyone with a back problem.
Okay … just wonder what had happen to your plans … what I pity, but on the other hand understandable – it’s a heavy job.
Oh Julie I am so sad for you. People mean well but they just don’t understand! Trust your gut. Let your mistakes be your and not those of “well meaning” outsiders. Antz is not responsible for the changes and nastiness he is displaying but neither are you. It is hard to say but you must also look after yourself and Ming. It does not matter what other people, including myself, say – it is about your and Ming’s survival in the time. People who know you, and even those who only have an awareness of the disease, will know the truth. Thinking of you!
Yes and I think every single situation is different and needs to be handled differently – there is no rule book. Thanks so much TB!
Yes, agreed. You won’t regret it. I was good to read her side of the story.
Hope it all goes well! Hopefully it will be a comfort for him to be at home for a little while.
It worked but didn’t work if you know what I mean!
Julie, there’s an old saying “the road to hell is paved with good intentions” or something like that, anyway my point would be that maybe the lady doesn’t truly understand, she is a bystander that only see’s from one direction, and it wouldn’t appear to be from your vantage point.
I truly hope the visit works out as you hope. Take care, Bill
Good point.
Love does not equal hurt, frustration, anger and guilt. Ants wants and needs your love. All the rest is an insatiable disease doing a lot of trash talking. It doesn’t deserve to be listened to even in the form of a well meaning taxi lady. Hang in there! Hugs.