There was a particular person who didn’t ring Anthony on Christmas Day – a decades-long ritual broken.
Ants was here for the whole day.
After he’d been taxied back to the nursing lodge I rang several times and each time Ants was sad about this and, during the last phonecall, he wept.
Broken.
jmgoyder 
Julie, jhave you looked into any hospice services. They have people who know what patients go through as they begin losing first the small things then the large things from their lives.>KB
Yes but he is already in ‘high care’
Who didn’t call?
It’s best if I don’t say.
How deeply sad for him.
Julie can Hospice not be involved when a patient is in High Care?
I’m not sure – will check it out.
It is the nature of the beast…..Could you maybe call him now and pretend it is Christmas? I am not sure it will help but it may not hurt.
It’s okay now – he is over it – hard for me to forgive this kind of neglect.
So sad. Heartbreaking for you to watch, I am sure.
He doesn’t usually get so hurt.
I’m so sorry.
I’d like to bop this person.
I can understand that! Me too, actually.
I didn’t mean to butt in. Thoiugh I must tell you the journing that you and Anthony are on, because of your sharing, has given me great pause to consider our human condition. I began working on a poem after reading your post called How We Say Goodbye. I realize that it is not something we learn (which we should–starting as children) and we go through life having always thrust upon as as though it were varying degrees of the same unwanted surprise. The primatives understood loss as not a negative but a part of the circle of things, things were never lost or dead, but simply somewhere else fulfilling the need of wordl’s rotation. I blabber a lot when I’m manic, thank you for being not only so open, but also expressing your experiences in a somewhat objective way while still being connected to it. I also have a piece that I jave been working on about the wrens that perched on Anthony’s shoulders when he was so still. I have it almost done. It is not an ah ha! kind of thing, and I doubt it will ever get posted, but when it is done I will sent it to you. I think that’s why it was meant to be written if for nothing else. Be well. KB
Thanks KB – I love the way your mind works – you are so right about not knowing how to say goodbye. I can’t wait to see the poems – you are so generous.
Julie, you warm my heart when you share your sorrow. I would have loved to have met you both back in the day. What a wonderful couple you must have been, and what a wonderful couple you still are, sharing all that can be shared. Take care, Bill
Haha – we were a force to be reckoned with!
Julie, I would have loved to have known you and Ants years ago, before the trials you face today. You two must have been a wonderful couple. yet even today it is still apparent that your a wonderful couple, because of all that which you share. Take care, Bill
sad ):
Very.
Julie, I would have loved to have known you and Ants back in the day, you must have been a wonderful couple. Yet here even now under the circumstances you face, you are still a wonderful couple. Please take care, Bill
I think you made two comments – thanks Bill!
♥
x
I am so sorry this has happened. With Ants being ill, now is the time for anyone that has hurt him to make amends in my oopinion
Yes.
I’m sorry to hear that. I wonder why the certain someone didn’t ring him up…
Complicated.
That is one time I would imagine that you would have wished his memory would have failed him….Diane
Yes I do. On the other hand he has forgotten it now I think.
Honey, so sad…
I was furious with the person but over it now.
So sad — do you know why this person failed to keep the tradition? I sure hope there was a logical reason and not neglect – emotionally… maybe if you learn the reason it will soothe Anthony… Broken really hurts 😦 — xo
He has now visited Ants at Ming’s prompting.
Oh, this is so sad. Your heart must be broken for Anthony. We often have no idea that something which seems insignificant to us may mean so much to another. I hope you and Anthony both had a great Christmas otherwise. And your son. And I hope the coming year brings many blessings to you all.
Yes I was surprised at Anthony being so upset – he is usually so resilient. Best wishes to you too.
That is I think the hardest part of it all. It is so wonderful that you knew and were there for him.
He is over it now – phew.
This has pissed me off, I think it is selfish for people to just cut someone out of their life because that person is ill. My uncle and aunt rarely go and visit my nan because they prefer to remember her like she use to be………….which pisses me off.
I know.
Julie, I’ve been reading and catching up, all I can offer are (((((((hugs)))))))) and strength. Your beauty is boundless. ❤
Thank you!!!!
That is so devastating!
It was – but all okay now.
That’s good to know.
what a selfish jerk! i am sure the person either has a fantastic reason for not calling or more likely they didn’t call out of pure selfishness. as things become more difficult many people just can’t bare to face their fears that some day that might be them. so they just pull back and don’t think about the hurt/pain caused by their absence.
i have to admit this kind of thing makes me want to protect you both. testament to my feelings for you and yours i guess. glad you are feeling better:)
I have emailed you about the situation.
This breaks my heart. It had to feel like a horrible blow to Anthony. I feel for him…and you.
When someone hurts Ants I find myself in a state of pure fury but okay again today – off to visit Ants with Gutsy9!
Happy New Year and a big hug.
You too!
This touched my heart so much until tears filled my eyes. Love, Granny Gee/Gloria
Me too.
I ‘can imagine’ how your heart hurt.
I was very angry with the perpetrator.
I can imagine… I can feel inside how angry I would be.
I have to accept that I cannot make this person do the right thing so I am simply going to let it go.
Yes, I know about that. We can’t make someone feel… if they do it on their own… then, it’s real, and special.
Yes indeed.
Kind of immature on the mystery missing person’s part. Conversely, it shows amazing maturity in Ming, that he contacted this person for visit to make amends! Your son may have his own issues in dealing with his father’s illness, but in the end he is a fierce defender of him.
Sending you hugs and blessings today Julie!
He is much more assertive than I am!
I’m so sorry.
Thanks Tilly.
Are you okay … in all this now ??? I don’t really know what to say – for me it like you are waiting to say good bye to somebody that already been gone and still there, that must be so hard. My thoughts goes out to you this night.
Okay now – thanks Viveka.
So sad for them both 😦 And for you, Jules.
Terribly sad… I can’t imagine why; especially at this state in Ants life. I hope the person comes to their senses…. Kudos to Ming for trying and to you for staying calm… {{{HUGS}}}