wings and things

Anthony wept on the phone

on December 28, 2012

There was a particular person who didn’t ring Anthony on Christmas Day – a decades-long ritual broken.

Ants was here for the whole day.

After he’d been taxied back to the nursing lodge I rang several times and each time Ants was sad about this and, during the last phonecall, he wept.


68 responses to “Anthony wept on the phone

  1. annotating60 says:

    Julie, jhave you looked into any hospice services. They have people who know what patients go through as they begin losing first the small things then the large things from their lives.>KB

  2. tersiaburger says:

    Julie can Hospice not be involved when a patient is in High Care?

  3. It is the nature of the beast…..Could you maybe call him now and pretend it is Christmas? I am not sure it will help but it may not hurt.

  4. So sad. Heartbreaking for you to watch, I am sure.

  5. lucewriter says:

    I’m so sorry.

  6. annotating60 says:

    I didn’t mean to butt in. Thoiugh I must tell you the journing that you and Anthony are on, because of your sharing, has given me great pause to consider our human condition. I began working on a poem after reading your post called How We Say Goodbye. I realize that it is not something we learn (which we should–starting as children) and we go through life having always thrust upon as as though it were varying degrees of the same unwanted surprise. The primatives understood loss as not a negative but a part of the circle of things, things were never lost or dead, but simply somewhere else fulfilling the need of wordl’s rotation. I blabber a lot when I’m manic, thank you for being not only so open, but also expressing your experiences in a somewhat objective way while still being connected to it. I also have a piece that I jave been working on about the wrens that perched on Anthony’s shoulders when he was so still. I have it almost done. It is not an ah ha! kind of thing, and I doubt it will ever get posted, but when it is done I will sent it to you. I think that’s why it was meant to be written if for nothing else. Be well. KB

    • jmgoyder says:

      Thanks KB – I love the way your mind works – you are so right about not knowing how to say goodbye. I can’t wait to see the poems – you are so generous.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Julie, you warm my heart when you share your sorrow. I would have loved to have met you both back in the day. What a wonderful couple you must have been, and what a wonderful couple you still are, sharing all that can be shared. Take care, Bill

  8. Anonymous says:

    Julie, I would have loved to have known you and Ants years ago, before the trials you face today. You two must have been a wonderful couple. yet even today it is still apparent that your a wonderful couple, because of all that which you share. Take care, Bill

  9. FlaHam says:

    Julie, I would have loved to have known you and Ants back in the day, you must have been a wonderful couple. Yet here even now under the circumstances you face, you are still a wonderful couple. Please take care, Bill

  10. terry1954 says:

    I am so sorry this has happened. With Ants being ill, now is the time for anyone that has hurt him to make amends in my oopinion

  11. I’m sorry to hear that. I wonder why the certain someone didn’t ring him up…

  12. That is one time I would imagine that you would have wished his memory would have failed him….Diane

  13. Robyn Lee says:

    So sad — do you know why this person failed to keep the tradition? I sure hope there was a logical reason and not neglect – emotionally… maybe if you learn the reason it will soothe Anthony… Broken really hurts 😦 — xo

  14. oldsunbird says:

    Oh, this is so sad. Your heart must be broken for Anthony. We often have no idea that something which seems insignificant to us may mean so much to another. I hope you and Anthony both had a great Christmas otherwise. And your son. And I hope the coming year brings many blessings to you all.

  15. That is I think the hardest part of it all. It is so wonderful that you knew and were there for him.

  16. This has pissed me off, I think it is selfish for people to just cut someone out of their life because that person is ill. My uncle and aunt rarely go and visit my nan because they prefer to remember her like she use to be………….which pisses me off.

  17. mrs fringe says:

    Julie, I’ve been reading and catching up, all I can offer are (((((((hugs)))))))) and strength. Your beauty is boundless. ❤

  18. That is so devastating!

  19. sbcallahan says:

    what a selfish jerk! i am sure the person either has a fantastic reason for not calling or more likely they didn’t call out of pure selfishness. as things become more difficult many people just can’t bare to face their fears that some day that might be them. so they just pull back and don’t think about the hurt/pain caused by their absence.

    i have to admit this kind of thing makes me want to protect you both. testament to my feelings for you and yours i guess. glad you are feeling better:)

  20. Judith says:

    This breaks my heart. It had to feel like a horrible blow to Anthony. I feel for him…and you.

  21. Margaret Sullivan says:

    Happy New Year and a big hug.

  22. This touched my heart so much until tears filled my eyes. Love, Granny Gee/Gloria

  23. Lynda says:

    Kind of immature on the mystery missing person’s part. Conversely, it shows amazing maturity in Ming, that he contacted this person for visit to make amends! Your son may have his own issues in dealing with his father’s illness, but in the end he is a fierce defender of him.
    Sending you hugs and blessings today Julie!

  24. viveka says:

    Are you okay … in all this now ??? I don’t really know what to say – for me it like you are waiting to say good bye to somebody that already been gone and still there, that must be so hard. My thoughts goes out to you this night.

  25. bluebee says:

    So sad for them both 😦 And for you, Jules.

  26. eof737 says:

    Terribly sad… I can’t imagine why; especially at this state in Ants life. I hope the person comes to their senses…. Kudos to Ming for trying and to you for staying calm… {{{HUGS}}}

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