I was brought up well-versed in the art of turning the other cheek and, in principle, this is a rather useful art.
However, I think there comes a point where your cheeks become too raw and swollen and you know you have to stop the hands that keep slapping you.
When Anthony and I announced our engagement, nearly 20 years ago, it was met with various kinds of shock. We knew there might be shock; after all, he was a bachelor in his late 50s and I had just entered my 30s.
Almost without exception, our friends and family expressed delighted shock, but there were two people who didn’t and, even at our wedding, would not speak to us. Ants and I didn’t care at the time because we were on a newlywed high!
But, once the honeymoon was over, I had to learn, in increments, how to deal with these two people. Their bullying behaviour astounded me! It went on and on, year after year, even when Ants became so ill.
But it’s Anthony’s birthday party tomorrow and, as always, he said, “Do the right thing, Jules.”
So I made the phonecall and invited them. Just doing the right thing – ha!
If I remember correctly, it sounds like you turn the other cheek once! I hope the partyis wonderful. Julie, I don’t remember how I fell into your blog, but was just thinking that I am so glad I did! You enrich my life just by being in it.
xo
Diana
I don’t remember how I dixcovered you either, but so glad!
I wish I’d known that about cheeks 20 yrs ago – ha!
I remember how I found you – Diana sent me! 🙂
oh!
sometimes doing the right thing tastes bitter
Very bitter!
good luck
You are who you are and that’s why people love you, especially Anthony. It takes a special kind of person who can extend the olive branch despite being shut down so often. You are indeed an exceptional person.:)
Just doing what Ants wants – sigh….
Julie, Since the moment I read that 1st post, I knew you were into “doing the right thing,” and I am continually gradified that you always find ways to do the right thing, wheither its Ming or Arts or family. Yes the time may come when it isn’t, but even then I suspect you will do what is right. Take care, Bill
I think the party would rock if you were here, Bill!
Julie, I suspect we could and would party good together LOL. Thanks for thinking of me — Take care, Bill
Just bear these 2 things in mind my friend….cake and hanging picture. 😉 no guff from those 2…ever again. the next cheeks turning will be theirs…red…and NOT on their faces! xoxo
ROFL! (I learned that from you!)
thinking of you today…hope you are having/had fun. let me know. 🙂
(and you could have learned worse things from me!)
I’m sure you’ll have fun once the panic subsides.
Mmmm
Well done Julie
Hope so.
There you go again, inspiring me to do the right thing too!
And btw – a perfect antidote for those comments you’d rather not hear is… Thank you for caring enough to share.
Smile
And walk away. 🙂
Fantastic antidote!
In my opinion if people can’t accept one’s wedding and are dreadfully against it, they have no business showing up
I agree, but it’s complicated.
Good luck if they come
Thank you.
Good for you, but one of them says anything out of line, show him/her the door!
Yes!
Did they accept?
Yes.
Such a fine line sometimes. I can tell you will always be nice, when you can.
Ha – not always!
You invited them to your wedding, and they did not have the respect to come up and congratulate you. They do NOT deserve to be at the party.
Sometimes, truly, doing the ‘right’ thing is doing the WRONG thing. Believe me.
You are RIGHT!
I do not get people acting like that as long as you and Anthony are happy then your family and friends should be happy for you……………
Complicated.
Oh dear, its their problem not yours! Have an awesome time!!! 🙂 And congratulate yourself for being gracious to them for Ants!! Now forget about them, and go have a lovely lovely day !!! 🙂
We can only please some, part of the time, others all the time, and idiots…none of the time! Lol
Something like that, does it matter….you are pleasing the one you LOVE!! ❤
True – thanks!
GOSH, Julie, no wonder people love you – you even tolerate the intolerable.
You and Anthony have great generosity and big hearts.
Anthony’s idea – not mine!
Don’t water the weeds! Be gracious but spend your time with true friends. Enjoy! Hope we get pics!
That’s a great saying!
Brave You!!! Diane
They don’t scare me – ha!
interesting, i thought doing the right thing in this case would be to have as much fun and make as much noise without inviting those who obviously do not want to share in your joy.
Very tricky situation!
the last bit meant they have not been a bundle of joy in the past even though you have done everything possible! i was pleasantly surprised to see they accepted and maybe your persistent kindness has made them nicer people. anything is possible:)
I hope your party goes well – and whether or not the two people respond, you did your part.
Unfortunately I had to cancel party – see latest post.
A good friend once told me “no matter what ‘they’ do or say, never let them change who you are”. You are such a good person, and even after twenty years of nonsense on their part you are still wonderful you. Have a wonderful party!
Very good advice!
Hope the party was a success.. and I hope you didn’t turn the other cheek again.. I believe one should turn the other cheek for peace.. but when it gets slapped more than once, then I believe what my father taught me… slap back twice as hard.. bullies run from this.. as do verbal abusers..
Oh, okay!
People are quite odd – who would come to a wedding and then refuse to speak to the bride and groom?!
These two!
I hope you have a great party – people like that don’t matter. You took the high road.
Party didn’t end up happening.
I’m so sorry Jules. You have to steal away the good moments for both you and Ming. I hope you can have your own celebration.
It all worked out fine today – well, sort of!
Well done for inviting them. If they don’t want to come, it’s their loss not yours. At least you know you’ve done the right thing 😉
Party fizzoged due to heat etc. Oh well.
Get over it Julie!!! Life comes and goes very quickely!!! If you waste all your energy on feeling resentment towards Mum and Dad your life will be miserable!
Get on with living your life and think of all the great things you have in your life like your son!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mandy
Oh Mandy, I am definitely over it – no resentment. Instead a great sense of relief that my relationship with them is over. Unfortunately Ants isn’t over it, and fluctuates between wanting to see more of your dad and thinking your dad is trying to take over Anthony’s farm, and I keep having to reassure him. Julie
Julie, you did the right thing … you followed you heart and I hope that the party will go well. I take my hat of for you … *smile – what happen to the that old girlfriend … that was coming to visit – have I missed the feedback on that .. event ????
I am still waiting for those girlfriends to ring up again!
Okay, I thought they were coming that week …. !.
They were supposed to – maybe they chickened out!
You are a good woman.
Not!
Are so!
Am not!
Are too!
“An eye for an eye, and the whole world would be blind.”
― Kahlil Gibran
I’ve never heard that quote before!
Grace under pressure must be your middle name, Julie. Oh Pettiness, thy name is – or can be – family. Can’t get away from family. My mantra is “Be kind, friendly, and cheerful.” I succeed intermittently, whereas you seem to succeed always. I admire you a whole bunch.
Families can be so difficult!
It’s a good thing we’re stuck with them!
Always the lady… well done. Nastiness seems to run in the family.
There is a streak!