jmgoyder

wings and things

Joy

on June 4, 2013

It seems indecent to feel, or worse embrace, joy, when your loved one is disappearing.

But joy is clever; it sneaks into the mud of your sorrow and explodes it away in rainbowish sparkles.

It is nearly 35 years since I, rather transparently, fell in love with Anthony and he kept his reciprocal feelings secret (I was, after all, still a teenager and he was over 40).

I think of what we had, what we endured, what we celebrated, and what we have now, as a big kind of love – huge, inviolable, but feather-light, a joy.

I have never felt so sad.
I have never felt so happy.

Joy.
Anthony.


23 responses to “Joy

  1. Consider yourself very lucky to have found and kept true love for so long. Many people never experience that in their lifetime. I guess all love stories have a sad ending eventually. You’ve had a beautiful love story to cherish for the rest of your days. 🙂

  2. You are lucky to have found him and to have had so many good years together even if he is slipping away from you now

  3. bulldog says:

    Julie back with great words and feelings to share with us… a sad tale it is but.. true love is a gift that not all get to share, even if for a brief moment.. and you have been blessed and still are… keep on keeping on …

  4. annotating60 says:

    Good for you Jules.>KB

  5. tersiaburger says:

    Beautiful words celebrating your love. Lots of hugs dear Julie!

  6. fgassette says:

    Strong and unconditional love carries you through any circumstances. I am glad you have it.

    BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!

  7. Vicki (from Victoria A Photography) says:

    Yes, Bulldog is right. You are so very blessed to have experienced true love in your life.

  8. I love to read your writing–you are very creative while telling of your joys and sorrows–I wish you only had joys though

  9. hugr5 says:

    Always feel joy in the love … today and twenty years from now.

    Love never ends.

  10. When you write about your love story with Anthony, you create a tableau of words that is just so utterly beautiful, one can only hope and dream to find a love like yours. I know that now in the present, the flip side of love is the pain that occurs when you see the other slipping away and I wish that I had something that could make the pain go away for you. I can only offer you my friendship and across the ocean hugs 000

  11. Terry says:

    your feelings show through your words so well my friend

  12. ahh a love story post. (((hugs)))

  13. Made my heart feel good, lighter, to read this. Hoping for more moments like this for you.

  14. Robyn Lee says:

    It’s a bittersweet love story – this one of you and Ants. It is so incredibly beautiful and heart wrenching as well. We always wish a love like yours could last forever…My hope is that you can hold those warm feelings of true love in your heart and let them soothe you…. x

  15. A love like Jules & Ants love will go down in history as one we all hope to emulate in our own lives. As well will future generations. The example set for Ming is priceless.

    Bittersweet it has become yet you see and embrace the celebrations still to enjoy.

    Welcome back dearest Jules. I understand we both were on hiatus at the same time. Great minds think alike?
    I hope that you were able to find some Jules time in that break.

    Sending you and both your men much love sister of the soul ~

  16. Debbie says:

    You are so expressive. Love encompasses all emotions. The Holy Bible says, “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres…And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” And you love so well, Julie. XO

  17. FlaHam says:

    Julie, soft smile, thank you for sharing these thoughts and words. — Bill

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