jmgoyder

wings and things

Ming’s adventure 1

on August 11, 2013

Ming is a big, loud extrovert of a son, but with a soft heart and a philosophical nature. I am so proud of the way he has coped with Anthony’s admission to the nursing lodge, simultaneous back surgery, and my subsequent bout of depression. These have presented him with some very difficult hurdles, like having to quit football, having to wait a year for his back to heal before going for his driver’s licence, having to wrestle with his feelings about Anthony’s deterioration, having to comfort me, and having to put up with the peacocks pooping at the door of his shed because they are so attracted to their own window reflections.

Late this afternoon, after milking, he is driving himself up to Perth (Western Australia’s capital city – 2 hours north of our farm) to see a band called karnivool perform. Even though he is staying overnight at his friend’s place, he is insisting on going to the performance by himself. I wanted so much to go with him (not to the concert, but for the drive – you know, to help him navigate the city) – but he gets furious at the suggestion. “I’m 19, Mum! I can look after myself!”

I feel like I felt, ten years ago, when he went on his first school excursion (a whole week!) I remember that Anthony and I took him up to the local primary school, saw him onto the bus, and I sobbed all the way home. I anticipate that I will want to sob like that when I wave him off in a couple of hours, so I will bite my lip. He has already told me to stop worrying or it will ruin his adventure so I will have to put on a mask of vicarious excitement for him and, as he says, “Stop being such a mother!” He is buzzing with excitement with just a slight hint of nerves. He will be okay. I will swallow my anxiety and give him my biggest grin and hug of confidence. Yes!

I just can’t wait for tomorrow afternoon when he will be safe at home again – our beautiful son! (Some of these photos have been posted before – sorry but I’m a bit sentimental today).

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MING GREG SHAAM

Son 18 (2)

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57 responses to “Ming’s adventure 1

  1. I hope he has a wonderful adventure; and you have a peaceful night 🙂

  2. He looks so much like Anthony! I hadn’t noticed it before. Mothers can’t help worrying, but we need to let go too. It’s hard. Give him your biggest hug and pray he’ll be safe. It just annoys them when we mother them but they’ll always be our vulnerable babies to us.

  3. You my friend are allowed to be sentimental, even weepy. (just don’t let Ming in it
    I always try to remember with my girls I was not raising children, but adults in the end was the goal. Letting them let go of those strings is so difficult, but it is the time when everything we gave them will carry them through. It is just so hard to trust that in the beginning.
    He is your & Ants kid Jules, he cannot be anything but spectacular. You both have given him your very best, now he fly’s from your nest. ~

  4. Vicki (from Victoria A Photography) says:

    I can think of nothing nicer (than posting favourite photos of your Son).

    I’m sure Ming will have a great night out. It’s nice to have one’s own company every now & then.

  5. mimijk says:

    I feel your anxiety Julie – and with two married, I STILL worry about them as if they were heading out on their own for the first time. I don’t think we ever let go – they are our greatest treasures. I hope he has an awesome time and look forward to his return home as well. What a special (and adorable) guy he is..!

  6. bluebee says:

    Mums are allowed to be sentimental 🙂

  7. I was like that too. And then I insisted on a gazillion texts to let me know that was A.OK.

  8. I completely get what you are feeling, it’s a mother thing or to be more accurate, a parent thing. I love looking at your pictures, Ming has your eyes and is the spitting image of Anthony. 🙂

  9. Colline says:

    I am learning too how hard it is to let go. All we can hope for is that we have taught them enough how to be safe.

  10. You have a beautiful heart Julie and I love these photos!

  11. FacetsofLucy says:

    Boy, Julie, I know this feeling. My 20 year old daughter has done more distance driving this summer than ever before and managed some highways that are speedways around here (the US capital area, Washington, DC). Her every trip has been a success (if you don’t count hitting a wall in an empty parking garage but that’s another story), But every trip, I hold my breath, cross my fingers, carry my cellphone and say alot of prayers until I hear she’s arrived safely. Meanwhile, her sister is flying back with her husband from an international trip today and I’m just looking forward to seeing her; not the same anxiety. So our confidence in our children does build and this anxiety for their safety does abate over time. Having said that, my mother-in-law used to call on extremely snowy days to see if her son had made it home safely, so I guess it never goes away completely.

  12. viveka says:

    Jo, what a magic post … Ming through the years. He are very likeness Anthony. It’s his steps to independence – to become an adult. I understand that you’re all emotional – you and Ant has done a great job here … and as you can be proud – he is going to be an responsible young man and it’s all down to you and Anthony. He just need some slack .. in umbilical cord.
    Just wonderful this post is.

  13. I remember when my two children were that age, and I worried A LOT. But they needed to spread their wings at some point and go it alone, no matter how anxious it made me. Love the family photos so much, Julie, thank you for sharing them with us. 🙂

  14. Terry says:

    I would cry too if one of my kids that age was going to the big city alone. You will be so glad when he is home. I love looking at all the photos

  15. tootlepedal says:

    Is the band any good?

  16. Love the photo of the three of you and him with Ants. He is a gorgeous boy. 🙂

  17. It is hard to let go. Sigh.

  18. Trisha says:

    It’s so hard to let go! I hope Ming has a fun adventure and that you are able to relax.

  19. Maybe it’s because it’s the time we’re living in and in our minds we just envision so many possibilities of things that can happen… that we want to still ‘protect’ our growing adult children even … but I’m sure he’ll be okay and feel a bit more confident and independent in himself… Diane

  20. It is a big step for him to go off by himself and it will not be something he will understand till he is a parent himself, I know how I felt when Kathy-Lee first moved out that first night of her not being at home was hard on me

  21. ksbeth says:

    he’ll be fine and have a wonderful experience i’m sure 0

  22. Do hope he had a really wonderful time.

  23. TBM says:

    Such a character. Hope all is well.

  24. Lynda says:

    Every good mother feels this way, Julie. When he has a family of his own he will understand, because he and his wife will also feel that way, and THEN he will appreciate how much you cared. 😉
    xo

  25. Judith says:

    Oh, boy, it’s fun to watch them grow up, and it’s nerve-wracking, too. And it takes a minute to adjust. Ty’s moving into an apartment in Bloomington this Fall, year round instead of a dorm for just the college months. He won’t be coming home next summer. He’s getting a job down there, and he’s cutting another big chunk of the umbilical cord. Wants to travel with a friend over Christmas break. It’s going to feel DIFFERENT, and it’s going to take a while to get used to. But he’s spreading his wings, and we’re proud of him. But, boy, it’s going to feel odd without him until we move on, too.

  26. Anonymous says:

    Julie, your doing your mom duties, hell I still worryabout my 34 year old daughter. I am sure Ming will have a ton of stories to share with you, and a half a ton of stories that he won’t. Enjoy it as long as you can. Take care, Bill

  27. elizabeth says:

    I’m so glad he got to go on his big adventure and made it there and back safely. His remonstration of you reminded me of my own son at that age. How cute! he just wants to be free. Of course he won’t understand the depth of your love and concern until he has kids of his own. Then he’ll come and ask, how did you do it mum? 🙂

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