jmgoyder

wings and things

Blogging and memory

Yesterday I was going to write about how glad I am that I started blogging back in November, 2011, because otherwise I would possibly have forgotten some of the events, details and emotions from then until now, and I don’t want to forget. But I was having a bit of a blah day so couldn’t be bothered putting the words down and decided, instead, to post the photo of the big red shed because I forgot I had already done this a few days ago. I’m surprised nobody commented on my memory lapse! And if my memory is so bad that I re-posted an already posted photo, then I am doubly glad of this blog as a memory prompter. But I still feel stupid – oh well!

Today I had numerous errands around town so I went to pick up Anthony to accompany me (as I often do now). He sits in the car with the radio on while I hop in and out, drive here and there. First though we met my mother at a coffee shop and, as usual, my ma and I had lots of conversation while Ants remained fairly silent (he doesn’t talk much now). Eventually, Anthony tried to get up out of his chair, indicating he’d had enough, so we left and, as I was putting him in the car, I asked, “How come you got sick of us?” and he said, with sudden articulateness, “Because nothing either of you said was of any interest to me.” As we drove off to the first errand, I could not stop laughing! His sense of humour is so slicingly droll.

The sun is having a hard time getting through the clouds but it is happening, this belated spring. Here are some photos to prove it (and so I don’t forget!)

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Dear Spring

Dear Spring

It is the third day that you have failed to appear.
The ute is bogged in the orchard.
The sun has become a faint memory here on the farm.
My geese and ducks are ecstatic.

But your sky is the colour of steel, all the clocks have stopped ticking, the telephone wiring is dead, and I can’t ride my bicycle through puddles the size of lakes on our driveway (yeah, lame excuse, I know).

The camellias are somehow hardy enough to withstand the relentless rain bombardment, but I am tired of your dark, cloudy unpredictability.

I await your arrival tomorrow, Spring.

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Out of character

Anthony has begun to behave aggressively towards some of the staff at the nursing lodge, especially one new, young nurse. I haven’t met her yet (there are so many!) but yesterday the nurse in charge told me that he had thrown a cup of water at her, and that she is nervous of him.

I already had Anthony loaded into the car and was just waiting for the head nurse to give me his meds, when she told me this, and all my enthusiasm for Fathers’ day plummeted. I asked her to apologise to the new nurse and explain that this was totally out of character.

I wasn’t going to mention it to Ants on the way home to the farm, but I couldn’t help myself. He said he couldn’t stand them, the way they told him what to do and made him go to the toilet etc. Even though he was stuttering quite badly (a worsening problem), his furious frustration filled the car. All I could think to say was to ask him to please not turn into a cantankerous old man or the staff would hate him.

I just want to be with you, he said, as we pulled into the puddled driveway.

Ming bounced out of the house, all primed to help, but that willingness didn’t last long, so that upset me too. I just don’t understand how such a compassionate young teenager could turn into such an intolerant older teenager.

So both my boys are out of character. Yesterday, I felt like I was meeting two new, rather disagreeable people, who I would not invite to lunch again.

That said, I have now told them both that it’s about time they gave me a bit of consideration and that although I love them both, I don’t particularly like them at the moment.

They are both in shock – ha!

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The good thing about gloomy

Down here in the southwest of Western Australia, the first day of spring coincided with Fathers’ day. The weather was rubbish, Anthony didn’t understand or acknowledge his presents, Ming got annoyed, and the day unfolded in staccato bites of aggro, humour and ferocious love, with my mother keeping Ming and me at bay, while we all drank Bollinger and ate pistachios, blue cheese,
Dolmades, pickled asparagus, olives, and salami. Then strawberries and cream.

Even though I try not to let this happen to my heart, I was upset when I picked Ants up this morning, because the nurse in charge told me that my gentle husband had recently become very nasty with some of the staff.

I think I will make tomorrow the first day of spring because today failed.

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