wings and things

I just deactivated my Facebook account – what a relief!

on November 6, 2013

I have never taken to Facebook as much as I have taken to blogging, however over the last few weeks I have become more and more obsessed with checking up on my family and friends to see if they are okay, to find out if they are happy or sad, to ‘share’ information that might be helpful etc. But this morning I realized that the level of anxiety I experience before going to FB is too horrible. I.e. What if I have said the wrong thing? What if they don’t reply? What if they are sick of me commenting on their situation? What if they just wish I would go away?

But it’s not just my insecurities that have influenced my deactivation decision; I am sick of the advertisements, the miserable media reports, the posts from people I have never heard of, the disturbing images, causes, and cries for help from people I cannot possibly help. One of the many strange things about FB is its strangerness.

I will probably hop back onto FB in the near future but at the moment I’ve just had enough – not of my family and friends of course – just of Facebook itself and its paradoxical facelessness. After all, I do have a phone number, and an email address, and have a bit more animation than my gravatar.

Also, I might now be able to get to my mountain of paperwork – bills, tax return etc. I’ll just check my emails first haha!

54 responses to “I just deactivated my Facebook account – what a relief!

  1. I have never been a Facebook fan. I am with you on this one 100%.

  2. Terry says:

    I will miss you, but glad that I have your email and WP. love ya my friend

  3. I have a Facebook account and check it during the day but I am not that big into it, I am not one to sit around playing games on the computer I have to much else to do

  4. I am very involved with Facebook but over the course of years have learned to use it on my terms, filtering my news feed to just see what I want to see. It is complicated to do so successfully. I am more likely to feel when I have said something aloud that my voice rings in my ears and I think I have sounded ridiculous. I am more confident when typing than speaking which is probably why FB socializing is very satisfying to me.

  5. elizabeth says:

    Well done Julie. I am also on the verge of dumping facebook. For all the reasons you mentioned and for invasion of privacy. I’m only interested in my family and very close friends on FB, but friends of friends (strangers) can get into your account through mutual friends. And now they are basically allowing search engines to scan and troll fb pages for ad/revenue reasons on top of all the ads on there already. I don’t like that. Forgive my rant, but I think FB could be such a wonderful tool for communicating with all the family abroad, but only if users can keep their info private from everyone else on FB and the WWW. 🙂

    • jmgoyder says:

      Yes and the fact that naive people like me (surely I am not the only one!) get drawn into links and ads and friends-of-friends can become so confusing and worrying. I am so glad to have eradicated it for the moment anyway!

  6. I have deactivated Facebook before ….. for the same reason.
    I don’t do that much with it.
    Like to see photos from time to time, but that’s about it.

  7. Bill says:

    Julie, i never knew you were onfacebook. Think of all the poftentizal conversations we coulg hsve had. Buti understand you leaving me. We well continue to share mail. Take care love ZBill

  8. Ingrid says:

    Hear Hear Julie – I absolutely dislike facebook for all the reasons you and Elizabeth have pointed out here, and would so love to deactivate it. I really liked the concept of facebook – for finding old friends, re-unions etc but the whole thing has just got out of hand , ridiculous and frivolous without any regard to privacy, copyright etc. Also a friend of mine who works in IT told me that photos you put on facebook become the property of facebook!!

    I have not de-ativated it just in case I need it to get in touch with someone, or locate someone etc. Facelessness and strangerness are good words you use to describe it. It savagely robs you of time – time that could be better spent actually communicating to someone directly … I’m close to pulling the pin!

    • jmgoyder says:

      Haha – I just got rid of my LinkedIn account to because I’m not sure how that even happened in the first place – perhaps I responded to an invitation years ago? I have nothing against either of these social media platforms but the issues you raise about privacy etc. make me glad I have deactivated! BTW when do you want to come for visit?

  9. Vicki (from Victoria A Photography) says:

    I was never into social networking at all and only joined Facebook at the request of an overseas friend. I joined Twitter because it was the only way to enter a photo contest & then promptly got sick and couldn’t enter the contest in time (anyway). And Linkedln…..well I was invited there too, but other than setting up very basic details don’t use any of them, although kind friends continue to endorse my skills.

    Once I week I get an email telling me how much I’ve missed on Facebook etc and I drop in to see and occasionally comment on a friend’s site, but that’s about it. I even uploaded half a dozen photos once upon a time……ages ago, then promptly forgot I had a Facebook account.

    Call me ‘behind the times’ but I don’t see the point of it all (unless I’m working & want to advertise my wares & talents). But then I never was ‘one of the herd’, even at work years ago.

    I’d rather be outdoors taking photos than spending all day on the computer (which leaves my brain so over-stimulated I can’t sleep). I’d rather be that eccentric lady who doesn’t network at all, than constantly on the computer straining my eyes & intermittent memory.

    If I was you Julie, I’d give FB a ‘retirement’ party & move on.

    • jmgoyder says:

      I only discovered email around 15 years ago (I was a bit slow on the uptake) but now I am going back to it as my main internet tool of communication. Thanks for your wise words Vicki!

  10. Ingrid says:

    Absolutely … I’m with you Victoria …lets celebrate!

  11. Icetealiver2 says:

    Nothing wrong in canceling the account, you have to do what’s best for you.

  12. I’m not a facebook fan either. I have an account, but never say anything on it and find the constant bombardment of stuff less interesting than others do. I admit that I rarely look at it.

  13. shoreacres says:

    I joined Facebook, but left after about six months. I simply couldn’t find a purpose for it in my life. I tend to be a private person anyway, and much of what I would say to friends I certainly didn’t want on FB.

    Beyond that, the intrusiveness of FB irritated me. Now that it’s become clear how closely they’re working with our government to spy on us, and now that they’ve changed their policy to make it possible to use anything posted there for their own advertising purposes, I want nothing to do with them.

  14. I can sympathize, Facebook has lost its luster. It was like a shiny new toy. I now like it for birthdays, checking in with my family overseas and spontaneous pictures. That is all. Hugs Jules 🙂

  15. gatito2 says:

    I have done that before too. I think it was 2 years ago I deactivated mine twice. My children were confused, and then all of a sudden I would be back again. I also got disillusioned with it for many reasons, mostly the ones you wrote about. The good thing about it though is that when you decide to go back (if you do) it will all be right there where you left off, if it’s the way it used to be.

    I don’t like FB a lot of times, but received an outpouring of help when Kaitlyn died there so it is not bad in that regard. But I admit, it does have it’s pitfalls. And yes, I bet you will get a lot more done now. 🙂

  16. Good for you! You don’t need to be expending any of your precious energy taking on more anxiety. I use it but ONLY to promote animal issues and my book (which indirectly does the same). Otherwise, it can be a psychic energy draining madhouse with all the goings on.

  17. Hey social media is supposed to be fun, so if it’s not fun for you, you absolutely did the right thing! xo

  18. Good insights. What drives me nuts are folks that are quasi-friends kinda sorta who take over a post to debate. Excuse me! Sigh.

  19. I do not entirely understand FB– just joined this year and do not really use it much

  20. Colline says:

    Facebook has become too business-like and is certainly not the family and friend-oriented social media any more. Personally I prefer blogging.

  21. tootlepedal says:

    I know how you feel. It easy to put stuff out and hard to get it back if you have second thoughts. At least you can edit or delete a blog.

  22. batgurrl says:

    Go jules. I think our blog friends beat facebook hands down. R

  23. janeslog says:

    I have managed to get through my life without Facebook. I prefer a blog and my friends check on my blog to see what I am up to.

    Facebook also gets people into trouble. People post that they just landed in Spain for a holiday and then find their house broken into when they get back. Some people also post silly comments about people they dislike and that gets them into trouble.

    Best to keep away from it.

    My computer is broken just now so I am using my tablet. I should be back up running at weekend when I have upgraded it again. I took some lovely photos of the fireworks on November 5th at Strathclyde Park and will post them later. It has been very quiet this bonfire night and we don’t have so many idiots throwing fireworks about now.

  24. While I’m not happy with the changes constantly at facebook or the amount of information they glean and advertise sites etc… I am hesitant to delete it because I keep in touch with family and friends who I don’t speak to on a regular basis…..but I certainly understand the desire to do so….. Diane

  25. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    Ha, good luck with the paperwork!

    I don’t favour Facebook much at all. I joined just to play Scrabble, but became aware of all the misogynistic & domestic violence placards there was. There was a movement against it, and during that movement I thought ‘buggar Scrabble, I do not support this’, and haven’t looked back. It gets ridiculous how people check it, really ridiculous.

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