jmgoyder

wings and things

Time, times, timing and a riddle….

on March 8, 2015

From as far back as I can remember, I have had a problem with the seven-day week, its orderliness and its paradoxical unevenness – either Sunday to the following Saturday, or Monday to the following Sunday or any alternative combination. As a child this did my head in a bit and as for the 24 hours enclosed inside each of the seven days – well, we won’t go there. After all I failed high school maths, ha!

I would much prefer a Sunday to Sunday, Monday to Monday etc. arrangement but of course this would be impossible. Or would it?

As an adult, I still find days and times problematic if I am trying to accomplish something difficult (it used to be the writing of lectures to deliver at the university; then it was what day to do the washing; and now it is how many hours I can spend with Ants in the nursing home).

In wrestling with the aftermath of multiple situations, especially the traumatic ones, I have tried and failed several times now to get back to a normal week, a schedule, a routine, a way of fast-tracking a bad Monday into a hopeful Sunday – that kind of thing….

And earlier this week I thought I had successfully reinvented what my week would be. I had listed goals, routines, early morning meditations, bike rides, photo-scanning, photo-taking, writing ‘the book’, polishing the silver etc. and NONE of this happened!

Instead, I spent the week hugging Ants from time to time as we watched Luther, and, at home, hugging Ming from time to time as we watched Game of Thrones.

I now think it is impossible to reinvent the week. That whole seven day thing still does my head in. My preference now is for moments: Anthony’s unexpected grin; my Mama’s amazing pork with caramelised onions for dinner with my first nephew and his girlfriend last night; reconciliations with friends and relations; cheaper than usual watermelon; photos of my first great-niece, reading Elizabeth Jolley’s biography; picking the last fig today….

And the once-a-year blooms of the magical moonflower.
IMG_4406
IMG_4410

1977
Anthony: Jules, come out and have a look at this!
Me: What? (amazed that he has taken my hand in his)
Anthony: The moonflower – only happens once a year, kid (removes my hand from his and looks embarrassed).

2015
Me: Ants I brought you two moonflowers, but they’re closing up already! I’ll get a vase.
Ants: You are beautiful, Jules.
Me: Really?
Ants: Just brush your hair.

Is it possible to reinvent what a week was? No.
Is it possible to fall in love again with someone whose disabilities made things difficult? Yes.
Is it possible to reinvent a week in a day-by-day way? Yes! It’s a bit complicated when you use a calendar or diary but an eight-day week, ten-day week (or anything you like) is entirely possible (I think!)

If the moonflower here only has one day of the year to bloom (as has happened here) then what the hell is it doing for the rest of the 364 days?


60 responses to “Time, times, timing and a riddle….

  1. Terry says:

    When 1 was caring for Al I never could tell what day it was let alone have a schedule. He was my schedule. He was my life for those 7 years. I think this is why I still struggle at times

    • jmgoyder says:

      Maybe that is why I struggle with time too. Before Ants went into the nursing home everything seemed to collapse except for the care needs. I understand so well how bereft you must feel now Terry x

  2. Just brush your hair Julie, brush you hair. >3
    Diana xo

  3. it was all that time growing. Just as you are now Julie

  4. janeslog says:

    I think the main thing is to feel you are in control. Plan your week or else you will only accomplish half of what you set out to achieve.

    Of course, plans can get changed as unexpected events occur. You could cycle to work if it’s not too far and this would let you get some miles in.

    If it’s too far you could consider a folding bike and cycle part of the journey and take the bus or train for the rest of the way.The Brompton is a great small folder but is expensive because the frame is handmade (brazed, not welded) in London but is great fun to ride.

    However, be aware that plans cannot be too rigid and always be prepared to change them at the last minute if something occurs.

    The main thing is not to worry about things that are not that important. Leave your worrying to the things that are important.

    • jmgoyder says:

      I love your pragmatism Jane. It has become impossible to ride my bicycle in the countryside due to the heavy truck traffic BUT today I found a secret spot in the underneath parking lot of the nursing home so am going to keep my bike there. That way I can visit Ants, do my shifts, and cycle in my spare hours – very happy!

  5. susanpoozan says:

    Wonderful pictures, I didn’t know about the moonflower. Your writing is always so well worth while reading, thank you for putting the words down for us to read.

  6. I too loathed the seven day week. I always felt it was one day short.
    I thought a better idea would be five days work (or school) week. Two days weekend (for all the sport and domestics). And one day for just sitting back, putting one’s feet up and going … ah!.

  7. I love this – and especially the last sentence/question 🙂

  8. obviously the moonflower has place to go and people to see

  9. Amy says:

    So sweet and like life, always a bit poignant and humorous as well.

  10. I guess the moonflower is doing what we do when it doesn’t look like we’re doing anything…. we’re trying to become stronger in order to ‘bloom’…. just a thought.. Diane

  11. I love your wisdom, and your humour.

    I love how you intuitively know that the only time that counts right now, is those moments with ANTS, and how you cherish the time together.

    You have a beautiful heart. ❤

  12. Sonel says:

    Great questions Jules. I guess it waits for the rest of the days to move on so it can bloom again. 😆 Nature is so mysterious and what a gorgeous flower. Great shots too. Love that beautiful white peacock. So precious! 😀

    Sounds like you are happy and I am happy for you as well. Go comb your hair girl! 😆

  13. What is a day, a week, a year, if not defined by life, reality, and most importantly love. And so the moonflower with its feathered admirers come yearly to grace you and validate your love. ❤

  14. Colline says:

    The week is a man-made invention after all. One thing my children and I often wish for is a longer weekend!

  15. Judy says:

    Well – now I know your “weekness” and why you’re in a “dayz.” You had me laughing about how you see the 7 day week as odd. You’re right – it is! Love the moonflower photos and was searching for a good pun on that (nothing yet). Such a beautiful bird examining it, too. 🙂

  16. My Heartsong says:

    With my schedule in retail, I am always confused about what day it is, or what shift I am doing that day.The moonflower is beautiful. I turned the clocks forward last night, or at least I thought I had, and then I was still an hour behind. I am always late because I get engrossed in what I am doing, even if it is getting ready. (ah, maybe like the moonflower, although they will never buy that reasoning at work.. I like moments, especially in photography.Happy spring, julie, only one or two more months of snow, Ha Ha!

  17. I like to think of Anthony and Ming as your time keepers. And the best laugh all day “Just brush your hair”. He’s amazing. 🙂

  18. Time is a human construct Jules; it shouldn’t be a one size fits all, but for some reason it has become that. Imagine if we could understand time the way Mother Nature does, wouldn’t that be amazing? Hugs Jules 🙂

  19. I have never heard of a Moonflower, till now, for me the week goes from Monday to Sunday……..just saying

  20. niasunset says:

    It is another amazing writing dear Julie… Moonflowers and just brush your hair… There is great and deeply hitten something in here, I can just feel but can’t translate into the words. I love your wisdom, humour and amazing writing dear Julie… Thank you, have a nice day and week, love, nia

  21. Rhonda says:

    Your mind is a wonderous thing! Great post Jules

  22. Judith Post says:

    They say time is relative, and it sounds as though you’re rearranging it. If anyone can do it, it’s you! I’ve tried schedules and lists, and time still always outsmarts me:) Beautiful post. The moonflower is not only lovely, but so symbolic.

  23. I suppose it is a bit confusing for those stricken with the disease to know what day it is and which ones they may or may not recall. You have done a spectacular job articulating this throughout this piece, even when focusing on your own day-of-the-week issue. Love the moonflower too! I hope today is a good day for you both.

  24. bulldog says:

    Do we need to reinvent the week? Hell no, live it day by day and face the things of that day as they happen… Half of the time now I don’t even know what day it is and really do I care? No… whatever the day brings so my life goes… and if I faced it any differently it would just become a major chore which I can do without…
    Love the flowers, hell lets continue to wonder what it does for the rest of the year…. love this post Julie….

  25. Waiting and writing poetry.
    I want a day called Lillyday that no one else has!

  26. Tiny says:

    Beautiful matching bird and bloom. I think it’s better to live one moment at the time – enjoy those instead of fretting about the plans that just add stress…

  27. There’s my beautiful white peacock!

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