jmgoyder

wings and things

Priorititis

on March 19, 2015

Ming and I have very different priorities which is not unusual in a mother and son relationship. This means that he has had a rather bemused, and sometimes annoyed, attitude to the last few weeks of what I have decided to call my “house to home” project. And, due to his man-of-the-house attitude we have had a fair few power wrangles.

So I didn’t tell him that I had booked a lovely couple who run a business called ‘Household heroes’ to clean the windows inside and out. When I accidentally let it slip that they were coming on Monday, he became angry and this was our rather fraught conversation:

Ming: Why didn’t you tell me?
Me: I thought we agreed last week that I was the boss.
Ming: Well, why didn’t you ask me to do the windows? I should be doing it!
Me: Because you’re working full time and actually I think I did ask you.
Ming: No you didn’t!
Me: Well, maybe I hinted that we could do it together?
Ming: Why don’t we then?
Me: So do you want me to cancel the window cleaning people and we do it ourselves tomorrow?
Ming: But tomorrow is my day off! I want to have fun!
Me: In that case, could we do it together next week?
Ming: What’s your problem with the windows anyway, Mum?
Me: They’re dirty.
Ming: So?
Me: I want them to be clean.
Ming: Why?
Me: Because they always used to be clean and now they have been dirty for three years!
Ming: So?
Me: Okay so you want me to ask you to help me with the windows but you don’t really want to and you don’t care that the windows are dirty?
Ming: I don’t care at all!
Me: In that case, I won’t cancel the window cleaners, okay?
Ming: Fine then!

Yes, Ming and I have quite a lot of these circular conversations but, in the end, we can usually stifle our different priorities in order to watch Game of Thrones in the evening.

So the window cleaners came on Monday and did the most fantastic job over nearly four hours, Dina and I decluttered the wash house at the same time, and Ming skedaddled!

The following photos are not remarkable in themselves; what is remarkable is that they are all taken through clean windows. Hurray!

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The thing is, I do understand Ming’s feelings of alarm at all of this tidying up because I guess he has become used to a mother (me) who has been sort of stuck for so long that he has forgotten the lightning speed with which I used to get things done – ha!

And tonight he is making dinner for me! Hopefully this will become a new priority for the Ming – gotta love him!


41 responses to “Priorititis

  1. susanpoozan says:

    Well done for negotiating the matter to such a satisfactory conclusion, the views through those clean windows are amazing, I wish mine were as good.

  2. Ming making dinner, clean and clear windows, and Game of Thrones! You are on a roll, lady! Perfect day. (We love, love, love, GOT at my house!)

  3. niasunset says:

    he he he… I need this window cleaning team too 🙂 I loved your little story about this. You are both amazing, mother and son. Blessing and Happiness for you both. Thank you, love, nia

  4. Charming story– yes the kids have different priorities. Glad you have clean windows!

  5. Vicki says:

    What a great job they did too, Julie.

    Brilliant idea you had there.

    Sometimes the young ones, (aka Ming), can’t get their heads around the whole idea of ‘getting your/their house in order’. They don’t like change. They (young ones) think that their lifestyle is pretty great as it is and therefore, their parent(s) should be happy with life just the way it is (also).

    People change. Life changes.

    And if we don’t open our minds and hearts and let the fresh air in, we can stagnate and stop opportunities, hopes and dreams from ever coming to fruition.

    I’m pretty sure Anthony wouldn’t want you to get too stuck in a rut or routine. In fact, I’m pretty sure Ants would want you to ‘take the bull by the horns’ and fling it around with delicious delight, not sit back in mindless acceptance of the everyday, the mundane or ordinary (just because he can’t share it with you now).

    Just because life deals out shit, doesn’t mean you have to wallow in it 😀

    (and you can tell Ming I said that).

    • jmgoyder says:

      What an absolutely wonderfully wise friend you are, Vicki. I so appreciate your feedback and your reward is that I am sending Ming over to visit you! Okay, so that’s a joke but I will tell Ming what you said – brilliant!

  6. Ming is a card that is for sure. My mother used to say the the house sparkles when the windows are clean. She had 6 kids to do the windows though! Speaking of which – mine are terrible after the winter, maybe I should drag the hoses around and clean them.. maybe tomorrow.. c

  7. So nice to see the greenery. All I see out my window is the whiteness of snow that just won’t leave in time for spring.

  8. Judy says:

    Sounds like MIng was just being a “pane” in the “glass!” Clearly!
    Anyway, I love how you are enpowering yourself. Even with little children, some things hardly need much explanation. Certainly, I can imagine looking out of dirty windows was a depressing reminder of your home falling into disrepair.
    The only thing that stood out for me in your post was how you labeled yourself “stuck.” It felt like you were putting yourself down. I always champion compassion and self-love – so how about acknowledging the true reasons for that? Stuck isn’t accurate or kind. How about the fact that you were overwhelmed with Anthony’s care and coping with all of the challenges related to that? You are a remarkable woman and continue to shine as you find ways to cope – using wit and love as your signposts!

  9. Terry says:

    I don’t think Ming really wanted to help or do the windows. I think he mainly wanted to be included in thought. Your windows look awesome!! hugs

  10. Gerlinde says:

    My son and your son are very much alike.

  11. ksbeth says:

    i love these conversations. and the clean windows and house!

  12. Trisha says:

    Those conversations with Ming must be so frustrating when you’re in the middle of them but they sure are fun to read about. He’s such a character!

  13. frangipani says:

    Your lovely pictures remind me of how I used to be, back in the days when I cleaned windows. It’s such a pleasure looking through them!

  14. Your windows look amazing Julie! ❤
    Diana xo

  15. My Heartsong says:

    I am like Ming in that I like to play on my day off, too. I had a load of errands and got to a few of them yesterday before work. Now, my day off, I am too pooped to do much. But I will get outdoors. I love the view from your house-and those clean windows.Happy Spring! It arrives here about 4:30 in the afternoon tomorrow, Friday, which is probably today where you are! 🙂

  16. Ming is hilarious…but sweet too.. You’re very blessed to have him… (as if you don’t know) Diane

  17. janeslog says:

    We have a few cleaning companies around here – Molly Maids and Maid Marion. They clean your house for a flat fee so a lot of people get their houses in a state before getting the cleaning companies out so that they get their money’s worth!

  18. The windows and the pictures are gorgeous! Congrats on teaching Ming the value of cause and effect. 😉 😀

  19. tootlepedal says:

    Those windows look very nice….perhaps I should do something about ours…..oh dear, I feel Mingitis coming on….I just want to have fun.

  20. Ming has quite the sense of humor. Okay, well, when I read it it SEEMS like humor! 🙂

  21. You and Ming have such delightful conversations! I love that you are doing all this cleaning and organizing. You have had some very tough times. It feels like you are starting over. Your job at the nursing home, your book, Ming, and now this. It’s nice to know you are finding your way.

  22. bulldog says:

    I make supper most nights now as Linda is busy till later than I… I do enjoy it and I see she is as well…. got to be careful she does not get too used to it…

  23. I understand the ‘sort of stuck’ feelings. I am happy for you that you have now become ‘unstuck’ and your old self has re-surfaced and moves with your former glory. You amaze me!

  24. Amy says:

    Love those windows. My windows haven’t been washed since I moved to this house 3 years ago. The pressure is on now. 🙂

  25. I hate cleaning windows. They did such a great job. Ming must have been secretly relieved he didn’t have to do them. 🙂 xx

  26. Wow, awesome! I clean the one window I photograph birds through. What’s the point in the desert is my thinking. But I think I should book your cleaners!

  27. Rhonda says:

    Through a Glass Darkly NO MORE! Must feel (and look) great! xo

  28. Judith Post says:

    Love this! I think your Ming is wonderful.

  29. oh i do love clean windows! seriously i do:) it’s good to be reminded of who you are, in there under all the stuff that life has been throwing at you as of late. xoxoxo

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