wings and things

Home away from home

on June 22, 2015

I wake up every morning, alone in this old, cold, quiet farm house, and smile into the memories of when it was full of warmth, people, noise. I know I should light the Aga, get the fireplace blazing, turn the radio on loud, make scrambled eggs, but Ming has already gone to work and I’m not hungry.

So I get showered and dressed fast, so I can go to the nursing home to be with Anthony for the day. His room has now become my home-away-from-home so much so that I want to be there more than I want to be here.

I like to get there at around 11am but sometimes it’s not until the early afternoon (depending on other various commitments). This daily reunion is fantastic:

Anthony: How do you always know where to find me?
Me: I’m a genius!

Then, after a hug/kiss embrace, I proceed to tidy the room a bit, move his chair so I can put my chair beside his, turn the heater on (it should always be on but sometimes isn’t), put a blanket on his knees, have a chat, help him with lunch or afternoon tea.

Once settled, we watch whatever series I have on hand. House of Cards is our current choice and Ants loves the Britishness of this and I love the plot!

So, in this home-away-from home nursing home room, I put my feet up onto Anthony’s lap and we are together.


50 responses to “Home away from home

  1. Bittersweet …. lovely …. you tell it so well …. I cannot imagine.

    • jmgoyder says:

      It gets easier every day. I simply make Anthony’s room my base so can come and go to various appointments or get-togethers and come back again before I finally go home.

  2. ksbeth says:

    what a wonderful and loving routine you’ve settled into )

  3. My Heartsong says:

    I like the picture with the boots!

  4. Vicki says:

    What a wonderful routine. Sounds just about perfect.

    (did Anthony like your new boots?).

  5. Judy says:

    This is a “shoein” for the most touching blogpost! You’ve really “stepped up” with your enduring love and devotion for him.

  6. susanpoozan says:

    You are so good at making the best of whatever circumstance you find yourself in, I salute you.

    • jmgoyder says:

      I could have been doing this two years ago but was too upset and unaccepting I guess. I really want to write something that encourages people to NOT see the nursing home as a tragedy.

  7. bulldog says:

    Home away from home… I love that, as I’m sure Ants does…

  8. aFrankAngle says:

    I sensed quite the range of emotions .. but loved the lines when the two of you see each other.

    • jmgoyder says:

      Anthony’s health is declining and dementia has now set in. I can’t bring him home anymore or even take him out because he is mostly immobile with PD. That’s why I have had to make his room my home too and it has worked. He is much older than I am – nearly 80 now – but the love of my life.

  9. It’s where your heart is, and the man you love…. so that’s where you want to be! Diane xx

  10. paulaacton says:

    Okay I am not sure how practical this is or even if it is something you would be interested in doing, but I wondered whether you would consider setting up a PO box, I was thinking it might be nice for not only you and Ant but also the other residents at the home if you allowed us your friends around the globe to send you postcards and curios from where we are that you could take in and share with them. Just an idea and I have no idea if it is even practical in terms of difference to a post office.

  11. Terry says:

    It’s beautiful. We have a mind that is so easily adpaptable. Isn’t that amazing and wonderful?

  12. dogdaz says:

    You are making the best of a hard situation. Home really is where the heart is.

  13. Snazzy boots Jules! πŸ˜€ I love House of Cards too! Frank and Claire are such riveting characters, I can’t take my eyes off them, great piece of drama. Hugs Jules xoxo

    • jmgoyder says:

      Nearly to the end of the series – have you any other recommendations for series?

      • We have been watching Orange is the New Black and though it’s different, I find it as riveting as House of Cards. πŸ™‚

      • jmgoyder says:

        Haha! Ming and I started watching this until he felt it unsuitable viewing for me!

      • Ming is worried that you may get ideas? πŸ˜€ My children can be funny about what they consider appropriate or not for me too. My son introduced me to Orange is the New Black, he loves it, I love learning about the inmates history because you learn that there is a lot more to the inmate than meets the eye. I get that there is quite a bit of sex, but people have needs. lol Good luck, you can watch it when he is off at work! πŸ˜€ Hugs Jules πŸ˜‰

  14. Amy says:

    I have a feeling wherever you and Anthony are together would be your home, you have such a beautiful connection that goes beyond words or walls. Lovely.

    • jmgoyder says:

      His health is deteriorating so much so that he is often immobile and unable to form the words he wants to say. That’s why I have to be there every day that I can.

  15. Trisha says:

    Your home away from home sounds very cozy and full of love!

  16. tootlepedal says:

    I’m glad the boots got another photographic outing.

  17. I love your happy and peace with Anthony. Did he like the boots????

  18. Judith Post says:

    Did he love the boots? I do!

  19. It is good that you enjoy being there with Anthony so many women would not it would be an inconvenience for them

  20. And you’re wearing your new boots! Did Ants approve, Julie? ❀
    Diana xo

  21. Sonel says:

    Love those boots Jules and I am sure Anthony does too. Great shot too. πŸ˜€
    Have fun hon. β™₯

  22. It’s all about finding the joy in the little presents of presence, isn’t it?

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