wings and things


on February 29, 2016

There is always a dilemma when you want to write a story that might hurt other people the way the story’s reality has hurt you.

Recently, I have wrestled with how to reconcile forgiveness with writing the truth of my decades-long relationship with Anthony, including all of the pitfalls.

The “love story” and “once upon a time” posts began to retell a story that has already happened. But, as soon as I ventured into writing the ugly bits of the story, I received some pretty nasty flak; some advice to be careful what I write; Β and, paradoxically, some encouragement to keep writing the story; etc.

So, in order not to upset people, I’ve decided to continue writing this story on a different blog – an anonymous platform – from which I can divulge, in story-telling detail, the truth.

In the meantime, this blog will remain positive.



36 responses to “Impasse

  1. Rhonda says:

    I feel your unease my friend and know exactly how you feel. This is a good idea…just make sure we know how to find you. Email the link to me?

  2. So how can those of us who would love to read your story find the new blog.

  3. artfulanxiety says:

    My blog is anonymous for that very reason! I wouldn’t be able to be as open and honest without the veil. Happy writing on the other blog!

  4. Judy says:

    I just love your idea! I do hope you’ll share you other blog with those of us who will keep it anonymous. πŸ™‚

  5. Yes, keep writing. I have just written a post on forgiveness (or actually from retracting forgiveness) but I left out all the ugly bits. I kept those bits just for my journal.

  6. Vicki says:

    You can never please all the people all the time, Julie. It’s a difficult decision you make in writing your story in all it’s many twists and turns, but the fact remains that it is YOUR story.

    Yours (and Anthony and Ming).

    I suppose the best thing you can do is write it from the heart. Write it truthfully and when interpreting the events in your life, try to understand everyone’s point of view about certain episodes. Understanding everyone’s point of view doesn’t mean you have to agree or like it.

    It also doesn’t mean you have to delete a chapter from your story because of who MIGHT read it.

    Between you and me and the readers of this blog, if people don’t like what you write, they don’t have to read it.

    (I think of this last sentence when I read some horrible criticism of someone’s photos, painting, craftwork or any other creative endeavour. If one doesn’t like it, stop viewing/reading/following the blog. The same applies to a book or film. I remember going to see the film Portnoy’s Complaint (sp?) back some 4o+ years ago. With my Mother. It was written up as “shocking and pornographic” and yet the stiff-necked and conservative people went to see it and then walked out part way through the showing, saying how disgusting it was. They knew they wouldn’t like it before they entered the theatre, so why go see the film?).

  7. susanpoozan says:

    I support you wholeheartedly in what you are planning to do. Keep writing the true story, people who feel threatened by the truth are very sad people.

  8. I get this. Completely.

  9. ksbeth says:

    power to you –

  10. JMO — It is very important for YOU to tell YOUR story. You need to do it for you. As a writer it seems to be calling to you. I think you are right to do it in private, get it all out, let it all have air and let it breathe in private. Give yourself some time to come to grips with it in words. Then you can decide how and to whom and in what form to share — keep it private, make it fiction, edit it out the bad stuff or make public the full unvarnished story.

  11. Terry says:

    I had to do that for a time, long enough for me to get it out of my system, so I understand. I will always support you. You will not receive any slack from me, dear friend

  12. Boy do I understand this. My only reprieve with my writing is it’s fiction. It has a lot of personal stuff in it, masked with the made up story. I’m glad you’re writing it, albeit anonymously.

  13. Julie, I would be honored to be a part of your anonymous blog … don’t stop writing … how well I can understand. I have a story in me I can’t write ‘until one day’ … it has to do when I was much younger in another life before Skip and I. πŸ™‚ Anonymous … I’ll have to think about that πŸ™‚

  14. Trisha says:

    I understand. Having my blog address under my real name, there are many things I couldn’t say. I do hope you’ll continue with the story – I’m hooked! – and let us know how to find you.

  15. Lynda says:

    Julie, with so many of us interested in the whole and unedited version it is a shame that you must write it anonymously. Please add me to the notifications list. ~L

  16. Val Boyko says:

    This is wise Julie. In a previous blog I hurt someone close to me with my story. Do no harm to others, but find a way to express yourself fully!

  17. Joanna says:

    Am I allowed on that blog? I love reading your stories about you Anthony & Ming, still would have liked to have caught up with you all before we left but circumstances got in the way, so hopefully in June sometime. We in Mt Isa & it’s hot & humid, yuk, having a good time though & have taken lots of photos to bore you with later ha ha xo

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