I remember the day, decades ago, when I discovered an enormous spider in the kitchen of Anthony’s house. Anthony was milking the cows and his mother, who we all called ‘Gar’, was having her afternoon nap, and I was trying to get the lumps out the white sauce I was trying to make on the Aga, to mix with the tinned salmon. I was nineteen and, even though I’d lived in Papua New Guinea for three years and I wasn’t afraid of spiders, I thought it best if I killed this particular giant.
So I found the fly spray and used almost the whole can to crumple the spider onto the kitchen floor. It died simultaneously with the white sauce which I only just rescued the Aga from (another story).
When Anthony came in from milking, I told him about my heroics proudly. He was aghast.
Anthony: You killed Martha?
Me: What do you mean?
Anthony: Martha is our pet spider, Jules.
Me: Oh no, I’m so sorry.
Anthony: Mum will be devastated.
Me: But you didn’t tell me you had a pet spider. Why didn’t you tell me?
Anthony: Where is she?
Me: Your mum? She’s resting.
Anthony: No – where is Martha?
Me: I’m so sorry but I put her into the outside rubbish bin. (I begin to cry).
Anthony: Jules – I am kidding!
Okay, so over 35 years later, I am sitting next to Anthony in the nursing home and he is boringly slumbery, so I put my face up close – nose to nose – and shout “Wake up!” His eyes open but he doesn’t focus. I keep my face close to his and all of a sudden he launches up in his armchair with an unexpectedly loud “BOO!”and nearly head-butts me.
Me: You scared the hell out of me, Ants!
Anthony: That was the desired effect, my dear.
jmgoyder 
Glad Ants hasn’t lost his sense of humor. RIP Martha. That was a good one and in the parts where I live, where people love nature to a fault it could have been true, lol. Have a good weekend. 🙂
Sometimes your stories are so funny I suspect you of embellishment. (I’m a firm believer in not letting the truth get in the way of a good story) But then I realize that life IS that funny if we only open our minds to it.
Two wonderful conversations, thank you.
men!! they never fail to surprise us.
I love reading you daily offerings–I do not comment every day because a lot of times I read you on my phone and do not have that capability–but I am always here. You are a joy my friend!
This has truly been a fascinating look from afar at how this disease affects a person yet how people maintain so much of themselves. You’re very brave to share this with the world.
Thank you, I could just picture you killing “Martha”, he really had you going for a moment, and so nice to hear that he can still scare the hell out of you
You brought a smile to my face again.
I love reading your stories
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love you two, I really do.
LOL!!! Hilarious, especially that last line!
Oh, that is too funny! I do hope that you laughed too, well, once you were over the shock. 😉
Poor Martha. Love your Anthony!
The spider story is something like my husband would do to me. When we had been dating only a short time he told me he was a different religion.. .one that was definitely not Christian, and I so worried about what I should do. I liked him so much but couldn’t embrace what he said…. Finally after a day or so, he told me he was just kidding…. (I could have whacked him over the head)….. but alas just breathed a sigh of relief….. Diane
I love this post, Julie. Thank you.
Hahaha….he’s got guts! Had that been me, my instinct would have been to slap him! lol…I react that way when someone scares me. You two are so cute…xo