jmgoyder

wings and things

Forgetfulness is not necessarily a bad thing

on April 5, 2016

After not being able to visit Ants for nearly two weeks (due to asthma), I was elated to find him unfazed.

Me: I’ve been so sick.

Anthony: I know.

Me: A bit of sympathy would be nice.

Anthony: Your mother ….

Me: Yes, she’s been visiting you on my behalf.

Anthony: She’s not you.

Me: And Ming’s seen you too so stop making me feel guilty. I mean, okay, here we go, let’s test your memory. When did you last see me?

Anthony: The day before yesterday.

Me: Yes!

Anthony: It was too long, Jules.

Me: I miss you too, Ants.

Okay so my point here is that 14 days were compressed into two days for Anthony due to the dementia factor. This helped to assuage my guilt of course because it was a great comfort to know that Ants thought he’d seen me ‘the day before yesterday’.

Ming and Meg are my greatest assets – my son and my mother. This is, for me, ground-level grief and these two people alleviate it.

One day Anthony will ask me where Julie is.


16 responses to “Forgetfulness is not necessarily a bad thing

  1. arlene says:

    I hope you are feeling better now Julie!

  2. Here’s to better health.

  3. The same place she’s always been. In his heart. ❤
    Diana xo

  4. When the day comes when he asks who you are it will be heartbreaking you may know it will happen some day but when it does it will come as a shock. One good thing is that as you said it may have been a couple of weeks since you saw him but for him it was only a couple of days

  5. ksbeth says:

    yes, the math is a moving target, and sometimes that’s a merciful thing –

  6. Won’t that be a hard day, when he asks that question. Oh Jules, every day is like waiting to see the results of a test… no wonder you’re having such a hard time with mental health. Lots of hugs and love xx

  7. No matter what that body and mind forget Julie, we all know Anthony the man who loves you, will never forget you. I so admire you, your husband, your son and your mom. No matter what, it’s all about love.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Oh, Julie, I hope that day doesn’t come for quite awhile.

  9. Amy says:

    This is fascinating, and to a much lesser degree, I think we all have our own stories about what happened in any particular moment, and our stories are seldom in agreement.

  10. susanpoozan says:

    Glad you have such stout support.

  11. Trisha says:

    I’m so happy to hear you were able to go back to see Anthony. It must have been so hard those two weeks, even with your mom and Ming there to fill in.

  12. tootlepedal says:

    I am glad that Meg and Ming were able to help you out.

  13. aFrankAngle says:

    You continue to deliver sadness in a way that makes me smile – and I say that as praise. You must be feeling better … so cheers to that!

  14. Lynda says:

    Two weeks distilled down into two days… I am surely smiling, Julie.
    I am so glad to know that you are feeling better now!

  15. I hope that you are feeling better now and have recovered from your asthma. Sometimes, when caring for someone else, it is hard to take ‘time-out’ to care for yourself. Take care Jules 🙂

  16. niasunset says:

    I hope and wish you to get well soon dear Julie, Love, nia

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