jmgoyder

wings and things

Rollercoaster

on August 20, 2016

I guess this is a ‘this-and-that’ post….

The other evening, one of our nephews rang to see how I was, and how Anthony was, and I got a bit weepy, so not long after, his beautiful wife arrived with a bottle of wine and she let me cry into her shoulder. Once I had recovered, we drank some of the wine and talked about what a wonderful man Anthony was/is etc., then she left.

Five minutes later, there was a knock on the door; her car was bogged on the driveway, so I went out to help but could NOT stop laughing and laughing, so I wasn’t of much use! In the end, my nephew had to come over with ropes to pull the car out of the bog. We’ve had a lot of rain and this farm is on the flats so what looks like steady ground isn’t.

When I told Anthony about this the next day, his placid face upturned into a smile – it was wonderful!

I quite like these rather bizarre incidents because humour is now crushing the sorrow out of the day-by-day experience of watching Anthony lose his bearings. Today, we had visits from other wonderful relatives but Ants was mostly sleeping and in bed, so I reassured the carers that him staying in bed was fine and probably much more comfortable at this stage. Today I also finalised the end-of-life documents, but it feels so surreal.

Ming has been writing an album of songs dedicated to Anthony but, this morning, he headed up to Perth for a two-day acting workshop. At 10am, he rang me to say he’d arrived safely and wanted to write a song for me – just me – called ‘Selfless’ and he told me that he thought I was the most selfless person he’d ever known. And then he said something about respecting me and it absolutely made my day! It is impossible to describe how much this kid/teen/man has helped out over the years; he is a legend.

Until now, I don’t think I have properly faced the death thing but, now that I have, I am more ready, I think!

Rollercoaster….


14 responses to “Rollercoaster

  1. Vicki says:

    So good to hear you laughing, Julie, even if it is in cyberspace 🙂

    As I’ve said before, Ming is an absolute treasure – you’ll be so good for each other more and more as the future unfolds.

    Wishing you more laughs than tears. Love & Hugs Vicki x

  2. Our kids are gifts, you and I are both lucky to have such fine human beings to love and be loved by, moreover with Ming you have a constant connection with Anthony, Anthony will always be with you no matter what. Hugs Jules!

  3. How sweet of Ming to tell you that! He is indeed a treasure. ❤

  4. From what I’ve learned about you and Anthony and Ming, the laughing and the unexpected have been beautiful moments in your lives. And you being selfless? From a son? Priceless.

  5. Yes.. you’ve had time to get ‘more ready’ which I believe will help you when the actual time comes. Hearts and thoughts of many are with you and Ming. What beautiful touching words that Ming spoke . It’s words a mother cherishes… Diane xx

  6. Judy says:

    A roller coaster is a perfect analogy. You and Anthony together in the beginning represents the joy and excitement of the wild ride. And now there is terror and the knowledge that you will eventually return to the station – alone. How beautiful that Ming is there to meet you. And I cannot wait to hear his album! Yes, he’s right. You are extremely selfless!

  7. I wish I lived closer to you so I could bring you wine. And I wish for you that you are more ready. Sending love and hugs. ❤

  8. susanpoozan says:

    What a son Ming is, what splendid support for you at this time. Well done for facing up to what has to be done, I admire your courage.

  9. tootlepedal says:

    I too have remarked that Ming is a good lad. I hope that you can feel our support for you both winging its way over the oceans.

  10. The model you have set for ming on how to live with grace and dignity is one that is creating the amazing, caring and vital young man he is. Well done Jules!

    And I too wished I lived closer so I could drop by with a bottle of wine, share tears and laughter and so much more.

    Hugs and Love. ❤

  11. Val Boyko says:

    The challenges we face together bring us closer together. Cherish all the moments Julie 💛

  12. Judi Lynn says:

    The end is bumpy, but you’re surrounded by so many wonderful people–and you’re pretty wonderful yourself–that you’ll deal with it beautifully.

  13. It is good to laugh when we are feeling sad and emotional well it is for me

  14. You and Anthony have shown him the way and Ming has followed your example.Not an easy journey.

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