Me: How come there’s water all over the floor? Did you tip your drink out again?
Anthony: Yes, because everybody is dead.
Me: What?
Anthony: This is a funeral home.
Me: No way! This is a nursing home – remember?
Anthony: All of the kids ….
Me: Are they still bothering you?
Anthony: I had to fight one last night.
Me: Did you win?
Anthony: Half and a quarter….
Me: Good on you, Ants! They won’t be bothering you again, I’m sure.
…………..
Anthony: Well come on, Jules – let’s go.
Me: Where?
Anthony: Around the block.
Me: Which block? The farm or the nursing home?
Anthony: The rose garden.
Me: What rose garden?
Anthony: Along the driveway!
Me: It’s too rainy and cold, Ants – sorry. Maybe tomorrow?
……………
The last several weeks have been a bit of a challenge for me because my anxious/depressive tendencies roared into my brain – WHAMMO! – when I mistakenly thought Ants was on the brink of death. I don’t want the knife edge of that grief again and am hoping that I am now better prepared.
Me: I saw an advertisement on TV the other day about cremation versus burial. What do you reckon? You know what I mean? For both of us of course.
Anthony: It’s far too early to think about that.
Me: Okay, Ants.
Anthony: There’s something ….
Me: Is it to do with my exquisite face?
Anthony: I wouldn’t go that far.
Me: What?
Anthony: But it’s quite nice, I suppose.
Me: Harrumph!
You are so clever, who else could bring a smile to the face of the reader in what is not funny at all.
You are amazing Jules, hugs xxxoo
So much going on, Julie. Once again – I am certain that knife edge of anticipatory grief wasn’t in vain. It was real and horrible. You’ve put something behind you. When the time does come, it won’t be as raw as what you went through last month. Trust me.
No one can imagine grieving while the person they love is alive. You are deeply grieving.
The dementia dialogs are quirky and sweet, but the underlying theme for me is that you are striving for connection at a time when you are very much alone with your grief.
Sending you a huge hug!
Praying for both of you. Lots of love as you go through this.
Thinking of you…
keeping writing Julie – it might help you make a decision. hope yu don’t feel too anxious
Even the bittersweetness makes me smile … love to you, Julie.
Great chats you and Anthony have
I’m glad you are able to deal with these exchanges with a hope and humor. Bittersweet indeed. Sending you love and support.
Re:second conversation, you are hilarious!