wings and things


on June 14, 2017

In just over a week, Ming and I are off to Sydney to speak at a conference. Check out the link!

The title of our talk is – yes, you guessed it – “Dementia Dialogues”. I am hoping to convince the audience that it is still sometimes possible to derive, and give, great joy within the context of Dementia. Ming and I are simply going to cite a few examples of the funny and poignant conversations we share with Anthony. We only have a 15-minute slot, so our talk has to be succinct, a bit like a TED talk I guess.

I emphasised the word “sometimes” above because I am well aware that our own experience of Anthony’s Dementia is not necessarily like other people’s and I recognise how lucky we are to have a husband/father who is so resilient. The other day, when I got to the nursing home earlier than usual, and was able to feed Anthony his breakfast in bed, I asked him if he was comfortable and he whispered a booming “EXTREMELY!”

Anthony’s sanguine nature is a wonderful ‘plus’ when it comes to Dementia but every single person who has Dementia is just as individual as those of us without Dementia. Now that I am involved in support groups for carers, I have heard a fair few horror stories and I do remember our own horror story before Anthony’s admission to the nursing home. So I guess another point I want to emphasise in our conference talk is that the idea of placing a loved one in a nursing home needn’t be a tragedy.

I haven’t blogged for so long that now I’m rambling – ha! It’s good to get the words out. Now I just have to prepare for the conference – yikes!





30 responses to “Happiness

  1. angelasommers says:

    Hello dear -you know what I do believe you don’t have to write your conference talk at all – just talk like you blog and you’ll be a huge hit! Good luck to you !

  2. Judy says:

    You are going to knock everyone’s socks off, Julie. Good luck and I’ll look forward to hearing how it goes. I’m so excited for you!!!

  3. mimijk says:

    Good on you both! How illuminating you and Ming will be. Just make sure you’re feeling well!

  4. Have a fabulous time Jules! I wish I’d known earlier and I’d have come, and met you! but I’ll be out of town end of next week….

  5. i know a lady with Louis body dementia. she has gone from a quiet refined little lady who swears, kicks , bites and scratches – oh and last time kicked me. Her son is black and blue from the batterings she inflicts but still he keeps her at home with the help of carers coming in. One of the carers resigned as she couldn’t take it any longer. its such a tragedy and she would be horrified if she had any idea of what is happening. So sad for them all but he is determined to keep her at home as long as possible

  6. susanpoozan says:

    Good luck with your talk, I know that it will be excellent judging by the way you put words together for the blog. Keep well too.

  7. arlene says:

    Good luck Julie.

  8. Julia (Midge) Avery says:

    Hey, Julie, that post you put up about suddenly realising Ants may be going for good really got to me. I think it was when he was whispering and being quieter.
    Talk will go well – you will articulate what it means for loved ones who are left and all circumstances are different.
    Just don’t lose your voice beforehand!

  9. Writer Lori says:

    That’s wonderful, Julie! I’m sure you and Ming will bring comfort to many by sharing your experiences and also provide another perspective. Take care of yourself! Lori

  10. You and Ming will be a salve to many Julie.

  11. It’s so good to hear from you (except your illness) . I’m sure you’re a great support to the care-givers you speak to. The insight and information that you can give with this speech you are doing that will tell of the journey you and Ming have been on, is I believe only the beginning.

    Sometimes what we believe our knowledge and strengths leads us to, may bot be what we would have thought, but is so valuable when shared with as many as possible. I think while you want to make sure that you tell those who may have to place a loved one in a ‘long term care home’, that it needed be a tragedy, any guidelines for adjusting to it will also be of great help… Diane

  12. Vicki says:

    Well done to both of you. As Angela suggests……just talk like you blog. I’m sure you’ll be fantastic.

    May I suggest you just jot down what you want to say and print it out in large font with key points highlighted with a marker, say 10 words highlighted with bright yellow marker.

    Then a quick glance down at the highlighted points before you step on stage as a wee reminder (not to digress from what you want to say in the time slot you’re allotted).

    If you were to suddenly get a little nervous, you can always refer back to the notes, but to be honest, I think your lecturing career will step in automatically and the words will flow perfectly. I might also suggest that with all your experience in recent years with Anthony (and others in the nursing home), you will be able to offer some worthwhile hints on how to make the talk both educating AND enjoyable to listen to.

    Hope you’re recovering/recovered from your debilitating stay in hospital. Vicki x

  13. What a gift to be able to share your insights — and to be able to do it with Ming. How healing, empowering and loving — but then, that’s who you are and that’s what you and Anthony have taught Ming — the power of love to transcend all conditions. ❤

  14. Judi Lynn says:

    Good luck with the conference. You and Ming will make a great team! Enjoy.

  15. tersiaburger says:

    Way to go girl!!! I hope you publish a podcast of the talk!!!

  16. tootlepedal says:

    Knock them dead.

  17. You will do a bloody wonderful job, I have no doubt about that

  18. WoW! That’s quite a conference. Will any written material or video from it be made available to the public? I’d sure like to hear some of these speakers.

  19. Glad you are having the opportunity to share from your life.

  20. misifusa says:

    Julie, I can’t wait to see/watch/hear all about your and Ming’s talk! Good luck and speak from your heart as you do here. You will do great and be a great healer to all who hear your message xo

  21. dogdaz says:

    How wonderful to be able to share with others the great work you and Ming are doing with Anthony. Best of luck with the talk. You will do great.

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