Anthony: It’s understandable, Jules.
Me: I’ve been putting it off for two reasons: one is I didn’t want to do this last final thing because I wanted something to look forward to. I know that sounds bizarre but there is something quite lovely about picking out a headstone and figuring out the inscription. I didn’t want that to be over with.
Anthony: What’s the other reason?
Me: Just talking with the monument people via email was okay to begin with, then I started feeling a bit sick, you know, bargaining about the price.
Anthony: You’re right to bargain!
Me: Do you like the colour Ming and I chose?
Anthony: It’s quite striking – yes.
Me: Okay so ruby red granite it is. I’m going to the monument place on Monday. I’m a bit worried that I might get really emotional or else that I might just feel numb.
Anthony: You’ll take it all in your stride, Jules. Hold your head up and smile and pretend I’m with you.
Me: That’s a good idea.
Anthony: Once it’s done, you can bring the cross with my name on it home.
Me: Yeah, I thought the same. It’s still stuck in the mound on your grave. I had no idea it took so long for the dirt to settle.
Anthony: I didn’t know that either.
Me: I thought I’d be visiting your grave all the time but I haven’t. I mean I don’t get any sensation of you being there anyway – not really.
Anthony: I’m not there, Jules – it’s just my old bones now.
Me: I hate thinking about that!
Anthony: Well it’s true.
Me: I’ve had a few bad days of missing you, Ants. I wish I could have a hug.
Anthony: Maybe you could use that imagination of yours to be hugged by me whenever anyone else hugs you.
Me: Okay, I’ll try that. Ming’s a pretty good hugger.
Anthony: That’s my boy.
Me: I want part of the inscription to read “The most beautiful man in the world”. What do you think?
Anthony: I think you are prone to exaggeration.
Me: Ming loves the idea.
Anthony: Does he?
Me: He feels the same way.
Anthony: Now you’ve made my day!
Me: That settles that, then. I think I can face Monday now.
Anthony: You’ll be fine, Jules.
Me: Okay, I’ll take your word for it.
jmgoyder 
Aw, lovely and a big step with the gravestone, Julie. I agree with you – he’s not really there and you are already doing the things that bring you comfort. Keep talking!
I don’t imagine Anthony is anywhere unless you are Ming are there. ❤
My mum at times wishes she had a say in the headstone my Uncle got for their parents grave but since he was the one paying for it, he was the one who made the decision it is a big decision he got it from a place in China because it was cheaper