Anthony: I know.
Me: I really hoped that August might not affect me, but it has.
Anthony: Nearly a year since I last saw you.
Me: Those last 24 hours of your life haunt me now because I worry, all over again, about whether you were suffering. Eight hours in the hospital on a trolley, waiting for I am not sure what now! You were barely conscious and I was probably nearly fracturing your hand by holding it for so long.
Anthony: I remember.
Me: My worst memory is, having asked you if you were okay over and over again, you shook your head, no. That is when I began to realise things were bad because for so many years of me asking if you were okay, you would always say. Fit as a fiddle. And it wasn’t my decision to ambulance you to hospital, Ants; it was taken out of my hands. I am so sorry!
Anthony: Jules, the hospital hours are forgotten to me. All I remember is you getting the ambulance to take me back to the nursing home so that I could die in my own bed. That was a blessing.
Me: Did you know you were going to die then, Ants?
Anthony: No, and I am so sorry it was so fast, Jules.
Me: Ming understands my troubled state and even predicted August might be hard for me.
Anthony: Ming understands a whole lot more than that, Jules!
Photo: Courtesy of Mandy Goyder
jmgoyder 
Hugs. I never forget my brother or father’s anniversary date and neither will you
You understand – thanks my beautiful friend x
Yes a hard month ahead for you just take it one day at a time
Oh my! That is an adorable photo! It really took my breath away as I scrolled through the writing and came to the image.Good advice from joannerambling, “One day at a time.” you are walking through this Julie.Just “be” and rest when you need to.All the best.
The sadness of time, tempered by memory’s comfort.
I’m told the years get easier. I suppose that’s true, but we don’t forget. Not birthdays, anniversaries, nor the day of passing.
I think it is a sign that they left a mark on our heart, and we choose to remember and honor them for the gifts they brought us. May you and Ming have peace.