jmgoyder

wings and things

Jun 27

No running

by jmgoyder

Anthony loved to run. He didn’t need a horse or a motorbike to round up cattle and get them from one paddock to another; he just needed his own legs. Sometimes he would get me to help by yelling, “C’mon, Jules, run!” But I could never run as fast as he did, which was a bit embarrassing.

He had the most muscly legs I have ever seen – huge calves, massive thighs – and he always wore those footy shorts, you know the black ones, and he always wore football socks too. So he kind of resembled a football player I guess – big, strong, energetic and, in my eyes (and his own!) perfect.

Sometimes I would just watch him run because it was like watching someone glide through a mirror, or a window; it was like watching magic.

……………………………………

Now Anthony’s legs are bony and often he can’t even walk.

Family Friendship LOVE STORY

34 Comments »
Jun 26

Awardees!

by jmgoyder

For those who are new to this blog, I seem to have a problem with accepting blog awards (yes, I am seeing a psychologist next week – joking!) So, in order to not seem ungracious or ungrateful, I created the Hot Potato Award to bestow on anyone who nominates me for an award. Hence, the latest winners are:

http://thoughtstomull.com/

This blog is both inspirational and very thoughtmully; it gets my brain working.

http://freedomtoafulllife.wordpress.com/

This blog takes the guts out of fear.

http://terry1954.wordpress.com/

This blog grabs me by the throat because it is about Parkinson’s disease.

There is only one rule for the Hot Potato Award: you accept it and copy/paste it to your blog, or you don’t.

I have been deliberately vague in my descriptions of these three blog awardees because I hope you will visit them and see how wonderful they are for yourselves.

Okay, now back to the award problem I have. There is an extremely profound reason behind my non-acceptance, which is steeped in philosophical reasoning:

I am lazy!

blogging Friendship

21 Comments »
Jun 26

by jmgoyder

This is one amazing person – Robyn!

THROUGH THE HEALING LENS

In the still night

Holding stable

Atop white sandy dunes

I lift my head in prayer.

Hearing the moon’s call, I

Submit to the pleas of my own

Desperate breath.

~~~

A warm salt breeze

Strokes my forehead

Gently urging my eyelids to close;

And quietly, I slip away from

~~~

What is real

What is earthly

What is pain.

~~~

Swiftly transported through

Space and time;

Lifted lovingly onto the wings of

Incandescent stars,

I transcend.

~~~

Spinning fervently

Whirling and turning, round and round

like a Dervish;

Finally, I penetrate a solid

Wall of mirrored glass and,

I am welcomed.

~~~

Without thought

Without words

Without pain,

I enter.

~~~

Here

Where my body

Is weightless and free;

And movement, effortless.

~~~

Here

Without bondage

Without boundary

Without pain.

~~~

Here

Where My dreams

Dance freely,

Held in the safe embrace of

 Blissful crystal waters;

~~~

And

Where my heart…

View original post 14 more words

blogging Friendship

8 Comments »
Jun 25

Platitudes and cliches

by jmgoyder

Platitudes make me puke; cliches catch at the corners of my eyes like rogue eyelashes.

Too much crap stuff is repeated, disseminated and shared until it’s like the worn out elastic that actually stinks when you finally pull it out of some old piece of clothing.

For example:

She’ll be right, mate!

Tomorrow is a better day.

Patience is a virtue.

God doesn’t give you any more than you can endure.

The grass is greener.

The grass isn’t always greener.

Chin up!

You will be rewarded in Heaven.

Suffering is good for the soul.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.

Smell the roses.

On the wings of a snow white dove ….

I would much rather read something like this:

Patrick Overton reflects in his poem “Faith”:

When you come to the edge of all the light you have

And take the first step into the darkness of the unknown,

You must believe one of two things will happen:

There will be something solid for you to stand upon,

or you will be taught how to fly.

The only thing he forgot to mention was that there is actually a third possibility:

You will might fall.

Family Friendship LOVE STORY Wings

61 Comments »
Jun 25

A pianist in the paddock

by jmgoyder

Yesterday, Anthony’s great-nephew, Michael Terren, a musician, came over to record in one of our front paddocks. And, no, this is not the kind of thing that happens here every day! I will keep you posted….

[Note: I have no idea why the comments are ‘off’ for this post – I can’t seem to get them ‘on’ again – oh well]

Family Friendship

Comments Off on A pianist in the paddock
Jun 24

Coconut oil

by jmgoyder

Thanks to Anthony’s beautiful niece, Jen, for this link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=ZZOR-Qd3QSg

I hope it helps. If you care for anybody with any kind of dementia, this could work!

Family Friendship

16 Comments »
Jun 24

‘Paradoxical kinesis’

by jmgoyder

Over the last couple of years as Anthony’s Parkinson’s got worse I would be amazed at how, when anyone visited, he would suddenly transform from being slumped and silent into a walking, talking marvel. As soon as the visitors left, he would revert back to being unable to walk etc. which annoyed me intensely because it was as if everyone else was getting the ‘same old Anthony’ and Son and I were getting the ‘leftovers’. I also found it frustrating because visitors would inevitably say to me, “Oh he’s so much better than I though he’d be.” In other words I felt I was being perceived as a liar or, at least, an exaggerator.

Assuming it was some sort of adrenaline rush, I once asked one of Anthony’s doctors about this (oh yes and Anthony would always ‘perform’ very well for them too). This doctor told me the famous story of a nursing home fire where the Parkinson’s patients, all wheelchair bound, were trapped on the third floor. As this was being reported by nursing staff to firefighters, someone noticed that all of these patients were standing outside the building, staring up at the fire. They had all run down the stairs and escaped! The doctor said that this phenomenon had been termed ‘paradoxical kinesis’, where the faulty brain suddenly does a kind of U-turn.

I’m no scientist so I don’t know, but, with Anthony, it seems to be triggered by a kind of fear – almost like a performance panic that works in his favour. With people he sees a lot of and is comfortable with it doesn’t happen, but with people he hasn’t seen for awhile, or for any professionals (doctors who visit him in the nursing lodge, for instance), he rises to the occasion with great skill and ease.

When he was living here at home, he would sleep for hours after a bout of paradoxical kinesis and yet our visitors would go home thinking he was fine and dandy. Mmmmm!

Family Friendship LOVE STORY

47 Comments »
Jun 23

Luxury holiday!

by jmgoyder

Anthony and I visited Arthur today in the hostel where he has temporarily been placed.

We wanted to see if he was okay and we were both relieved to find that he was much more than okay; he thought he had died and gone to heaven! Not really, of course, but for this decrepit old man to move from a decrepit old hut to a nice warm room with lots of friendly people, lots of regular meals and attentive carers is like, in his words, “a luxury holiday!”

Arthur doesn’t seem to miss Tina Turner at all! I can’t imagine why….

Friendship Wings

27 Comments »
Jun 20

Oprah!

by jmgoyder

When my book about Alzheimer’s disease and storying was published (this is not a plug, so I am deliberately not providing a link), I handwrote a little letter to Oprah Winfrey on a special card, and wrapped the note, and my freshly published book, into a package and snail-mailed it to the address on Oprah’s website.

At the time, Oprah was promoting books she liked via her bookclub so I was rather hoping she would make me instantly famous and I kept waiting for her phonecall to me. So, when I received a letter from Oprah, my excitement was huge! But when I opened the letter it was from one of Oprah’s personelle and it expressed gratitude for my gift but implied that my generosity might be better served if I targetted more needy people (of course it didn’t say that, exactly, but that was the gist of how I read it).

Well, that was a very good lesson in humility (which I was already pretty good at anyway), and it taught me a massive thing about laughter, about laughing at myself and about dealing with seemingly dashed hopes.

I sometimes wonder where that copy of my book is. I have a little fantasy that it is on Oprah’s coffee table somewhere and one day she might pick it up and read a bit. You never know! I have enormous admiration and respect for Oprah Winfrey; her honesty, achievements and generosity are all part of the aura of her legacy and her presence.

I just want her to love me back a bit – just a little bit!

Friendship

58 Comments »
Jun 19

A better life?

by jmgoyder

Today has been eventful.

A lovely place has been found for Arthur (see previous post) and he will be leaving in a day or so. Ming (Son) has told him the hut is no longer safe and we have to have it inspected for wiring (which we do).

One of the guinnea fowl was cowering in the corner of the emus’ lean-to, so Ming helped her get out. I think she wants somewhere safe to lay eggs, so here we go again!

Ming and I went out for lunch despite suffering from gastro. We had to go because it was a promise we made yesterday when we had our long discussion. I had chilli prawns and now feel amazingly better!

Anthony got angry on the phone this morning (first time ever) and said he was hurt (first time ever) that he couldn’t come home for the night so I have arranged to pick him up for the day tomorrow. His uncharacteristic upsetness has cast a shadow on today, but tomorrow will be better.

I have nearly caught up with the washing and folding of clothes.

Ming is a happy chappy.

I am too but I seem to have this spare water balloon full of tears that keeps landing in front of me, making me afraid to smile, or take the next step.

Ming said he read the post about him on Facebook and hated it but then he grinned.

One of my two PhD students has finished and submitted his thesis.

Anthony just asked me on the phone (I ring him several times a day when I can’t get in to see him) if I still loved him and I said yes.

During lunch, Ming said we were not to talk about Anthony so we didn’t.

The ute is making a funny sound.

I had a dream last night that I was having an argument with someone and a hippopotamus squashed her.

The main car’s side mirrors are smashed and I still haven’t rung the insurance company.

Nearly all of the young peacocks now have long feathers.

Wild galahs and 28s are everywhere.

There is a rat in the washhouse which only Ming has seen, so I need his company to do the washing.

I have a mother who is a best friend.

The electricity has not gone off now for a couple of days.

I have resigned from my job at the university.

I will never, ever wish for a different life.

I will never, ever wish for a better life.

This is a better life – this is the best life.

Animal Family Friendship Wings

47 Comments »
«Older Entries
Newer Entries »
Blog at WordPress.com.