jmgoyder

wings and things

Pull your socks up!

Yesterday was supposed to be fantastic, with Husband home for the day. I had sushi, smoked salmon and blue cheese (some of Husband’s favourites) ready for lunch. But Husband doesn’t have much of an appetite these days so it ended up being a bit of an anti-feast.

Yesterday was supposed to be fantastic and I had envisioned one of those sentimental scenes in which people who love each other run across fields of daffodils in slow motion and embrace; after all, Husband and Son hadn’t seen each other for over two weeks. But when I picked Husband up from the nursing lodge he was uncharacteristically grumpy because I was late, and, when we got home, Son was asleep. The daffodil-ish scenario evaporated and a whoosh of disappointment blew through the house.

Yesterday was supposed to be fantastic, but by the time Son woke up, Husband was outside trying to water the garden, I was walking the emus whilst keeping an eye on Husband, we somehow lost Husband’s new walking stick, then I lost sight of the emus, then I lost sight of Husband, then the tension reached a nasty twang when Son came outside to yell at Husband to come inside so they could watch a movie together and have a talk and a hug! I told Son later that if he needed a hug he would have to ask less angrily…. Mmmm.

Yesterday was fantastic when, finally, both my men ended up watching Red Dog after which Son had a ‘deep-and-meaningful’ with Husband about how he now identifies with being disabled. The difference is, of course, that Son is getting better and Husband is getting worse. I intentionally withdrew from their company so they could watch the movie together in manny mode. When I heard them chatting, I was relieved because over the last year or so, Son has found Husband increasingly difficult to relate to and vice versa.

Yesterday was fantastic when both of them called me to put their socks on. Unfunnily enough, one of the things they now have in common is that neither of them can manage this. Earlier, Son said, “Sorry, Mum, this like what you do for Dad”, but I said, “No, your feet are much bigger,” and we had one of those half-hearted laughs where you can only manage a one-syllable ‘ha’ rather than a ‘hahahaha’.

Yesterday was supposed to be fantastic and it wasn’t. And then it was. And then it wasn’t again.

So, once I’d taken Husband back to the nursing lodge and settled Son into bed for a late afternoon nap (he is still on very strong painkillers), I went out to spend time with the birds.

Then I pulled my socks up.

15 Comments »

‘While my guitar gently weeps’

There’s a line in the following beautiful song about the floor needing to be swept. I didn’t understand that line until now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3RYvO2X0Oo

On a more literal note, I’m about to sweep the kitchen and veranda floors in preparation for Son’s home-coming on Friday. He was very upbeat on the phone today and said, “Mum, I hope the house is up to standard.” Yes – that’s my neat and tidy boy – just like his dad!

8 Comments »

Surreal

I’m back in Perth and Son has now been transferred to the hospital’s rehabilitation campus and today, for the first time, I saw him walk. Yes, indeed, we had an exhilarating stroll down to the toilets and back after which he was absolutely exhausted and had to lie down again. He had a craving for gravy and chips (yuck!) so I went and got him some from the cafeteria.

The grimace on his face is partly pain but mostly irritation at having his photo taken. This irritation with me is very encouraging as it means he is getting back to normal! On the phone the other day, he said, “Mum, do have to ring me all the time? You are really hard work. I just want to have a little nap.” Brat!

The surreal thing is this: walking down the corridor with him, I was disconcerted by his height-gain. He was already taller, but now he towers over me – really, really weird!

16 Comments »

Torn between two lovers

Remember this song? If you aren’t old enough to remember it (hehe!) it’s worth a listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1F5BLLFAeM

Here is our male Indian Runner duck following his girlfriend. When these ducks run, they look exactly like Basil from Fawlty Towers! I have never named these two because originally we had several until we realised we had a fox problem, so I just call our remaining couple “Duckies”. The male is the one I rescued from the fox that awful morning after the massacre of several poultry. I ran outside, in response to terrible squawking, to find the fox with its jaws around this duck’s neck. Ever since then, he hasn’t been able to quack normally. On the upside, he is very good at sex and never leaves his girlfriend alone; not only that, he tries it on with all the geese and, just recently, with little Tapper.

And here is Zaruma who, as of yesterday, proved his manhood by getting it together with Tapper.

I didn’t even realise Tapper was a girl until I witnessed both the Indian runner and Zaruma eyeing her off (I reckon that this is a gentler way of describing what really happens – hell! Unlike chooks, ducks kind of take awhile.)

So Tapper is now in great demand and has become a terrible flirt! She can’t seem to decide between the Indian Runner and Zaruma.

The funniest thing is that, while I always look away tactfully, whenever ‘it’ happens, the geese go crazy-loud like some sort of cheering squad. I do not approve!

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

In a different way, I feel torn between the two people I love most in the world, Husband and Son. With Husband 20 kms south of the farm in the nursing lodge and Son 200 kms north in the hospital, Son is taking priority at the moment and I’m heading back up to Perth to see him soon. Yesterday I spent the afternoon with Husband and he and Son had their first phone conversation since Son’s surgery. I had to enable this because, although Husband can answer his phone, he’s not so good at ringing, and Son is too incapacitated at the moment to answer his phone – argh. Anyway when I finally got them phone-connected, one of the things Son said to Husband was “Now I really know how you feel, Dad.”

Here is a picture of them shaking hands a few days before Son’s surgery. We were at my brother’s place just down the road from the nursing lodge. It seems like a hundred years ago now!

10 Comments »

Recovery

This is Son in ICU (Intensive Care Unit). Since then he has been moved to a ward but is in a single room where he will stay for three days due to some infection risk or something. He is starving, having eaten nothing for over 48 hours but he can’t eat yet because he keeps vomiting from the morphine. I stayed for a few hours and he had a couple of visitors but after they left he started to cry and my maternal presence just made it worse so he asked me to go, so here I am back at the hotel hoping he has gone to sleep for the night, hoping that the nurses will adore him, hoping that we have done the right thing, hoping that tomorrow will come quickly and I can see him again.

I subscribe to a blog by a beautiful woman who had the same operation and her description below says it all:

http://thecurvyspine.wordpress.com/

I don’t think Son and I were quite prepared for this! So far, I have restrained myself from crying but I have made an appointment with my tears for exactly 8.15pm with a 15-minute limit, then I’ll watch another hotel movie….

47 Comments »

The long and short of it

I am well aware that my posts have become rather sloppily sentimental and even solipistic lately (and I hate solipsism!) I’m also very, very aware that Husband, Son and I are extremely fortunate in so many ways and that our recent troubles are nothing compared to many other people’s situations. I have wanted to say that for some time.

Son’s scoliosis surgery took over seven hours today and tonight he is the intensive care unit attached to a multitude of tubes. As soon as I was allowed to, I went to see him, but he was too groggy to really know I was there, although when I touched one of his hands, he grabbed it and, with his eyes still closed, and with great difficulty (as if my hand were a boulder), raised it to his lips and kissed it.

One of the things the nurses were doing was measuring his height and joking about how tall he would be now. This was a pre-operative joke too which didn’t really resonate with me until today when I remembered how extremely tall Son used to be. He was over 6 feet when the scoliosis went mad and shrunk him; previous to this he had always been ‘the tall kid’. Here he is pictured with two of his cousins who are both four years older than him. Son is on the left.

Okay, moving on now … tomorrow I will see Son, then go home to the birds. One of the funniest phonecalls I made from this hotel room was to my beautiful mother last night.

Me: I’m really worried.

Mother: Of course you are – this is huge surgery.

Me: No, I’m worried about the birds while I’m away. I left heaps of food and water but….

There was a bit of a pause!

13 Comments »

Growing a spine

You know those sayings: ‘he’s got spine’ or ‘she’s spineless’ or ‘grow a spine’? Yeah, well, tomorrow, Son will literally be growing a spine. Here is an animated version of what is going to be done during his scoliosis surgery (don’t worry, there’s no blood!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBIf4AQj5s0

This morning we left home at around 9am to get to the hospital by 11.30am for Son to see the neurologist, who glued electrodes to his head (these will be connected before his surgery tomorrow in order to monitor how his spinal cord is doing during the op.) The electrodes are multi-coloured so he looks very reggae-ish!

Then, because I was parked (twice!) in one hour parking zones, I left Son at the hospital to be admitted and drove to my hotel to check in. As it’s only walking distance from the hospital, I’ll set out in a minute to go back. He’s allowed to go out for dinner so we are meeting our friend, Nathalie at 6pm for a burger. Nat is the one who got me into blogging in the first place. She set me up (in a good way I mean!)

http://theinfinitegame.org/

I just found out I’m not allowed to see Son before his surgery at 8am tomorrow because he’ll be getting prepped much earlier in the morning. Son is okay with this, but I’m not – I just wanted to see him off. Apparently he won’t be ‘see-able’ until around 5pm tomorrow so it’s going to be a long, waiting day in Perth for me.

Son is very up and very positive. That kid has a lot of (metaphorical) spine! He didn’t even baulk when he found out he would have around four surgeons, two anaesthetists, and multiple other specialists involved in the surgery – yikes!

My beautiful, spineful boy!

32 Comments »

The gentlemen

Since our two alpacas, Okami and Uluru, have been shorn, they seem much tamer and friendlier, and they come right up to me now. It’s almost as if all that wool got in the way of our friendship!

They are still very shy and are the most placid animals I have ever come across, but they are also very curious and love to roam around with the birds. If you recall, that is why we got the alpacas in the first place; they are supposed to be good fox deterrents. Somehow, Okami and Uluru don’t seem the fox-attacking types, but you never know!

They are such gentlemen. Okami is the white one and Uluru is the brown one.

Curiouser and curiouser!

As for my own two gentleman (the human ones) Husband has been home again for the weekend. I will have to take him back to the nursing lodge soon but he is really positive about this now and keeps talking fondly of the nurses (mmm!) And Son will be home soon from yet another sleepover with some best friends. This afternoon, we will get ready to go to Perth for the operation; Son will be admitted tomorrow, with surgery scheduled for 8am Tuesday morning.

My gentle, gentle men – and me:

I feel as if I am entering one of those tunnel rides where you don’t think you’ll see the light again and then, whammo, you emerge unscathed into the frothy bubbles of life, life, life.

6 Comments »

Yesterday

Yesterday, a friend said we had made a good decision in ensuring Husband’s permanency in the nursing lodge.

Yesterday, a friend said we had made a terrible mistake ‘putting’ Husband into a ‘nursing home’.

Yesterday, a friend said Son’s spinal operation was the best thing we could possibly do, and our only option.

Yesterday, a friend said spinal surgery was a bad idea, that Son might become paralysed and that, at the very least, he would lose flexibility.

Yesterday, a friend said that everything would be all right.

Yesterday, a friend said that things would be very difficult.

Yesterday, I wanted it to be Today.

So I went outside to see Pearl … because she doesn’t say anything.

18 Comments »

Little great-nephew

Today was Husband’s 76th birthday so I picked him up at 11am from the nursing lodge to come home for the weekend, and we had a few friends and relatives over.

Jane took the above photo which, for me, captures it all. This is Husband with his rather curious little great-nephew!

8 Comments »