Me: You won’t believe it, Ants!
Anthony: Try me.
Me: I went kayaking today!
Anthony: You what?
Me: I went kayaking! I had a lesson with this lovely guy and I only fell out once, when I was first getting into the thing.
Anthony: What lovely guy?
Me: The kayaking instructor.
Anthony [pause]: Okay….
Me: I think I might even buy a kayak, Ants! What do you think?
Anthony: You’re a bit impulsive, Jules.
Me: No, I’m not, Ants. I kayaked for three hours and I loved it!
Anthony: You’re a burster, Jules.
Me: Well, that’s a good thing isn’t it?
Anthony: Be careful.
Me: Why? I’m not scared of anything anymore. You’ve already died.
[Note to readers: It is now over six months since my husband, Anthony, died from pneumonia, after years of being in a nursing home with advanced Parkinson’s disease dementia. Since then, I have battled a couple of severe bouts of major depression (a condition I already had), with the addition of grief rendering me almost as bedridden as Anthony was in the end. But, with the help of my psychologist, and my own determination, I’ve begun to embrace new adventures, and kayaking is one of these. The imagined conversations are just that – imagined. I miss talking to Ants, so I do it here.]
jmgoyder 