Anthony: What’s with all the new clothes?
Me: Retail therapy.
Anthony: What’s that supposed to be?
Me: Forget it. You wouldn’t understand.
Anthony: I like it. You’re looking particularly well groomed these days.
Me: Why thank you, kind sir.
Anthony: Stylish even. You’d be a knockout if you wore higher heels.
Me: Oh for God’s sake, you can forget that.
Anthony: The red boots are, well, they’re very red aren’t they.
Me: So? I bought them before you died but I never got to show you so every time I wear them I feel a bit of a pang of disappointment.
Anthony: They look good, Jules, I’m only teasing.
Me: I kind of bought them for you actually, indirectly.
Anthony: A likely story.
Me: No, really. I used to like the way you liked the way I love my boots.
Anthony: You definitely have a fetish for them.
Me: Not so much now.
Anthony: Isn’t it about time you bought some new ones?
Me: What? I can’t believe you’re encouraging me to spend money.
Anthony: You can use my money. I don’t need it any more.
Me: Wow, you’ve changed. What happened to the tightwad I married?
Anthony: He turned into a butterfly.
Me (laughing): You crack me up, Ants. Okay, well I don’t need much encouragement so what colour do you suggest?
Anthony: Purple and white polka-dots?
Me: You are insane!
Anthony: Why not?
Me: I’ll google it. Ah here we go. What do you think?
Anthony: Not bad. What do they cost?
Me: Let me see … $5,200.
Anthony: [Pause]
Me: Are you there?
Anthony: I’m in shock.
Me: Yes, so am I so don’t panic. I’m not that self-indulgent and I can’t imagine who is. Okay, how about these?
Anthony: How much?
Me: Around $40. But they’re gumboots.
Anthony: They really are ‘you’ though, aren’t they.
Me: You think?
Anthony: Different.
Me: Are you sure?
Anthony: Why not?
Me: Thanks but I’m really very tempted by the first pair – the more I look at them….
Anthony: Jules, come on.
Me: You are so gullible.
Anthony: I’ve broken into a sweat.
Me: I bet! I wish I could buy you something – anything, even a slice of black forest cake or a dozen oysters.
Anthony: Plenty of that here.
Me: Really? Oh, of course. I know, but I used to love buying you presents and treats and stuff.
Anthony: You’re too generous.
Me: It was fun.
Anthony: Tell you what, buy the gumboots for me. Indirectly.
Me: Sold!
Anthony: You’re a burster, Jules.
Me: I can’t believe purple and white polka-dot boots even exist. How could you have possibly known?
Anthony: I’ve become a fan of google too.
Me: Now I really am shocked! But you don’t even know how to turn a computer on.
Anthony: I do now. I’m one step ahead of you. Now buy the boots. Right now.
Me: Your wish is my command. Thanks, Ants – this is so enjoyable!
Anthony: It is, isn’t it.
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