jmgoyder

wings and things

The shortlist

on February 22, 2013

I have discovered something wonderful and I’m sure Oprah will be contacting me soon to make me rich and famous.

Okay, we are all familiar with the list thing – shopping lists, chore lists, goal lists etc. But you know what the trouble is with these lists? They are too long!

My extensive research, case studies and social experimentation over the last three days have produced extraordinary findings! Yes, indeed, I have found the cure for lethargy!

The two candidates for this study were a teenage son and his mother who were becoming more and more depressed and, yes, lethargic, due to the grief they were experiencing when the husband/father figure went into a nursing home.

Neither the wife or son had been able to adjust happily to the new home dynamic despite having a close relationship. This was compounded by the son having to have major surgery and the mother losing her job.

Even a year after the husband’s admission to the nursing home, the son’s surgery and the mother’s loss of employment, all three were still struggling to accept the new status quo. All three were grieving in different ways and this resulted in numerous arguments with emotions running high, particularly between the mother and son. Both became exhausted and fell into a state of lethargy.

Then, three days ago, a plan was devised. Each day, the mother and son would write down a 3-point shortlist for the following day. This was done in a special notebook, almost like a contract. There would be one task that required both (we called that ‘mutual’), one task for the son, and one task for the mother.

The beauty of the shortlist is that it is ‘doeable'(is that a word?)

Okay, tongue out of cheek now – this is working, so watch this space!


69 responses to “The shortlist

  1. I’m so happy that it is working! I’ll be your cheerleader if you want.:)

  2. Tammy says:

    Brilliant! I think I shall adopt this! Congrats!

  3. dcwisdom says:

    Excellent plan and very doable. πŸ™‚ Good luck! Pulling for you!

  4. dodsy says:

    of course dooable is a word, I tell robbo he is dooable all the time!! You guys may have cracked it, the ‘3 thing list’ sounds far more feasible! We always burden ourselves with too much and are then disappointed when we can’t achieve all. Good luck and may you continue happily! (Do you ever just write … ‘watch a movie’ for the together chore ?)

  5. terry1954 says:

    yes, there is such a word. I also believe that your new idea will lesson pressures on each of you. When each of you are grieving how can you do well with a longer list and still tolerate each other………..

  6. Anonymous says:

    “Doeable” is indeed a word… now.

  7. I’m watching. Go for it.

  8. That’s a great idea! Now you just have to develop a phone app for that and sells in for 99 cents. πŸ˜‰

  9. Sounds like a good plan.

  10. Bloody great…………….

  11. janechese says:

    sounds good-does that include bike rides, or is it strictly for chores?

  12. I may take a page from your book – if it is working for you it may work for me. Glad you are on to something………….

  13. janechese says:

    I know it might not seem like much to you , but are you aware of how much you have accomplished in this span of time? AMAZING!

  14. victoriaaphotography says:

    I use the word do-able all the time and tend to put a hyphen, as it looks funny adding ‘able’ to ‘do’…….yes, doable looks funny to me, but I notice that my Apple Mac Pro instant spellcheck stops me typing doeable and converts it into ‘doable’, so there must be such a word as doable. I suppose one could try and spell it dooable to rhyme with moo, but instant spellchecker keeps changing the double ‘o’ into a single ‘o’ also, so I guess doable must really be spelt doable.
    Of course, Doable gives the word more meaning and makes it very powerful. A small ‘d’ just keeps it as the run-of-the-mill word as with all other words being typed in lower case. Mind you, if the word doable was at the start of a sentence, you’d have to put a capital letter ‘D’, because all sentences start with capital letters………..doable…….no, it still looks odd to me. Maybe I should just type ‘possible’ instead.

  15. It is a word but it’s spelled, ‘doable’. πŸ™‚

    So glad you found a compromise!

  16. SnapInTime says:

    I like this a lot! πŸ™‚

  17. Like the saying goes, Julie, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!” ;-). Good luck with your new strategy!

  18. Glad you found something that may work! Sounds like it will. Good luck!

  19. TBM says:

    As the better half says, Keep is simple stupid. I try my best not to get insulted and i don’t mean this as an insult. Sometimes the answer really is simple. I’m looking forward to hearing about the progress

  20. Julie, you are such an inspiring pair, you and Ming. You meet adversity head-on. Love to you both as you carve out a new path ahead.

  21. eof737 says:

    And it does work Julie… I believe it . πŸ˜‰

  22. viveka says:

    I think I will do myself a doable list too .. everyday – because I don’t get anything done .. anymore until I really need too. Doable !!!!!! You’re very clever – wish I knew Oprah *smile

  23. Monica says:

    Excellent plan, Julie.

  24. bulldog says:

    I’m waiting cause this sure sound interesting…

  25. FlaHam says:

    Julie, we have all heard that necessity is the mother of invention. Clearly your shortlist, is a wonderful invention. I suspect many of your followers (me included) will find a way to use it. Keep up the good work Ma!!!! Take care, Bill

  26. mrs fringe says:

    This is a brilliant plan. I’m going to try it, thank you!
    ❀

  27. sbcallahan says:

    you are so clever! don’t waste this on Oprah:) i am sure this is meant for bigger things like a self-help book maybe? just remember to be consistent and you got this!

  28. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    VERY doable – a SHORT list is doable, yes! Good one, mum πŸ™‚

  29. Finn Holding says:

    Great idea. What kind of things do you put on your lists?

  30. elizabeth says:

    As sad as this was to read I have to say, “Well done Julie and Ming!” I love the shortlist idea. Hope you are both able to keep it going. πŸ™‚

  31. That is, indeed, an excellent plan!

  32. Judith Post says:

    It takes time to find what works. Glad you’ve done it!

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