Dear Pat
I am finding it very difficult to believe you are gone because Anthony and I were just talking about you the other day, about your pink jacket, the fact that you made the effort to come 200 kilometers south for his 75th birthday even though you and your family had to go back to Perth that same night. You and Anthony sat next to each other all night and I was a teensy bit jealous!
And I remember your 90th – the joy of it, and your family, and your beautiful pink jacket, and how much you loved the photo I gave you of Anthony sitting on his motorbike with baby Ming. In amongst the food, frivolity, speeches and chitchat, you shone bright – always, always with a glint in your eyes, a mixture of wisdom and wit. And once again, you and Anthony sat next to each other.
The weekly phone-calls, before your hearing failed and Anthony had gone into the nursing home, were a highlight for us. Ming would answer the phone and yell “It’s Auntie Pat, you guys!”
I remember being a bit nervous of you when I married your little brother even though, at the time, he was 57 and you were the age he is now. It took you a little while to approve of me but, when you did, you gave me your full older-sister-approval and I learned how to answer you back!
Even though I never had a chance to tell you when you were still alive, I want you to know, Pat, that you taught me how to be assertive, how not to take nonsense, and how to love unconditionally. You also taught me the art of a brandy before salmon mornay – and the way you and John smiled at each other is an image that is imprinted on my mind forever.
I know, if I had tried to say these things to you in years gone by, you would probably have shrugged them off as sentimental because, like Anthony, you were/are pragmatic and that is one of your many legacies.
At your 90th, I was sitting next to Mary, the daughter who lived with you and she said, quietly, with her eyes full of tears, that it was a privilege to look after you. And, that day, seeing how much all of your children and grandchildren loved you, I wished for a moment that I had had more than one child.
One of the things I will miss most is those booming phone conversations you had with Ming, both of you shouting into the receiver so loudly that I could hear the whole thing. Your first question was always “How is Anthony?” and Ming and I would reassure you.
And remember that time you came to Glengarry Hospital, when Anthony was being assessed for a new medication regime? You created a bit of a scene with your “What are you doing with my brother?” The nursing staff loved you immediately!
I will miss you so much, Pat. And the first thing I am going to do, after your funeral, is to buy a pink jacket. My/our deepest sympathy to your beautiful children and grandchildren. You were – you ARE unforgettable.
Lots of love
Julie, Ants and Ming
jmgoyder 
This was a hard one to ‘like’ but there’s no other button option, so I ‘liked’ it.
I am sorry for your loss Julie — and applaud you in the pink jacket! woo hoo!
She sounds like an amazing woman.
Many hugs my friend.
We hadn’t seen her for awhile which makes this seem surreal.
Oh Jules, I’m so sorry…what a vibrant picture you offer us of your sister-in-law! A woman of substance and life and love. May her memory forever be a blessing…
She was such a character!
Lots of sympathy in your loss. She sounds a splendid person.
Thanks Susan – she was.
Julie I’m so sorry for your, Anthony and Ming’s loss. She was obviously of strong and wonderful character. I hope for comfort for all of you her family in her love and memories she left with you.
She had a presence, that’s for sure.
a lovely tribute Julie, as will the pink jacket be !
Yes and thank you!
What a special woman – how lucky you were to have her in your lives.
Unfortunately we didn’t see her very often, especially over the last few years.
My sympathies.
Thanks Elizabeth.
What a beautiful tribute to Pat. I’m sorry for your loss Julie.
xo
Thanks Diana.
Jm, my most heartfelt to condolences for your loss.
Thank you very much.
I’m so sorry Jules. I can hear how much she’ll be missed by all of you in your words. How is Anthony? Does he realize? She sounds a gift in your life my friend, and along with her pragmatism, your memories of her will keep you going strong when the time comes. You’re blessed with the love she left behind…open, honest, and real…xoxoxo
I told him yesterday but he already knew as his brother had visited. He’s okayish.
what a beautiful tribute to such a special woman. i am sorry for your loss )
She always reminded me so much of their mother.
Jules I am so so sorry, loss of any loved one is so darn difficult, yet at nintey + years …what a full and joyous life she lived and what wonderful memories you have of Pat. It is so beautiful when one has a strong pramatic person to love and learn from they bring so much into our lives. I am sorry for the pain Pats passing brings to all of you but rejoice for the heavens getting such a beautiful angel. Love and hugs my friend xxx
She was a force to be reckoned with!
I am so sorry for your loss Jules and for Anthony and MIng as well. Your tribute is incredibly beautiful, a real love letter to the woman and her life. Huge hugs 🙂
I wish we could have seen her before she died – especially Anthony.
So very sorry for your loss, Julie. She was obviously a beautiful spirit, and it sounds like she lived life to the fullest. I know that she’ll live on in your memories…
She was a one-off!
I am so sorry too dear Julie, beautiful soul never dies. Hugs and Love, nia
Thank you Nia.
This is just another blow and I’m so sorry, Julie. I’m squeezing you harder with my hug. I don’t know what to say – there just isn’t any “pat” answer for this. (Sorry, probably not a good time for a pun, but I love to try and make you smile).
Big smile!
Lovely homage. So sorry for your loss.
Thanks Paulette.
Everyone needs Pat personality in their life. I’m so glad that you became such good friends, and sad that she will not be there to cheer you on. She will be missed for sure, but oh the memories! I am sorry for your loss.
Thanks Lynda.
Beautiful sentiments Julie… respect and love in the words… Diane
Thanks Diane
Julie, that was the sweetest letter I have read in a long long time. Thank you for sharing it and helping us to know Pat. Please take care, Bill
I wish I had sent her a letter before she died.
A lovely tribute to Pat. I am so sorry to hear of her passing; God be with you and the whole family during these days of remembrance and grief.
Thanks – she has five children.
What a wonderful tribute you’ve written here. I am sorry for your loss.
Thanks Trisha.
Sorry to hear of the death of your sister in-law
Thanks Jo-Anne.
Sorry to hear of your loss, Julie, she sounds like/was the most beautiful person imaginable and your tribute is most fitting and beautifully worded.
Vicki
xox
Thanks Vicki.
A lovely tribute, Jules. So sorry for your loss.
A wonderful and love-full letter …. and I know that pink jacket will suit you so well.
Funeral is tomorrow – so sad.
Always sad when somebody that we love and that are special to us .. leave us behind – we can’t stick around forever … she will always keep your heart warm.