jmgoyder

wings and things

Wedding anniversary thoughts

on March 26, 2015

In a couple of days it will be our 23rd wedding anniversary. Over the years, Anthony and I have been hopeless at remembering this and my mother usually reminds me! But, even after being reminded, Ants and I have never done the whole anniversary present thing, just as we have never bothered with the Valentine’s Day thing.

Our love story, in retrospect, is very romantic but we have both been a bit cringy about public displays of affection and have never adhered to expectations around both occasions. In fact, until now, we have never held hands in public. Perhaps, having hidden our romance for so long, when I was younger, and having had such a wonderful platonic relationship beforehand, our friendship didn’t require the usual trappings of romance.

I think that when a romantic relationship begins with a platonic friendship, it is easier to manage the ups and downs of a marriage. I can remember years ago Anthony suggesting that he might one day buy me an emerald ring and silly, young me hoping to get this on my 40th birthday. Instead, he bought me a wonderful lithograph that he had always wanted!

After Anthony experienced my dignified disappointment (“You just bought me something YOU wanted!”) he began buying me silver bangles every Christmas and birthday, picking them out himself during the years before he became too affected by Parkinson’s disease to drive into town. So he began to send me into town to pick whatever silver bangle I wanted, which I did, reluctantly to begin with and unhappy with the thought that I was romancing myself! I eventually quickly began buying my annual bangles at just above Anthony’s budget instructions. It was hilarious to watch his expression when I came home and said, “I’ve found one and I love it, but it’s a bit expensive!”

IMG_4431

Anthony (having always been extremely tight careful with money), would ponder the situation, look at the picture of the bangle, then at my greedy grin, and say, “Yes, okay, Jules.” These were gleeful moments, mischievous and hilarious and as solid as the silver in the bangles.

In light of our current circumstances – Anthony in the nursing home etc. I was tempted to just pretend the whole silver bangle ritual. After all, that’s what I did last Christmas and for my birthday in January. But then tonight I suddenly thought Ants will get a kick out of giving me a new bangle so tomorrow I am going to find one that is really unusual and take it in to get his approval.

Our romance began when I was 23 and now we have been married for 23 years, so I will get the chosen bangle engraved with 23 – yes!


57 responses to “Wedding anniversary thoughts

  1. ksbeth says:

    I think this is absolutely brilliant and happy anniversary!

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  2. ksbeth says:

    I think this is absolutely brilliant and happy anniversary!

  3. Yvonne says:

    What a cool (and romantic and fun) thing to do! I’d love to see the look on Anthony’s face.

  4. magicallymad says:

    Such a sweet & funny story – happy 23rd!!!

  5. It will be interesting to see if there is a reaction when you show it to him… I’m sure there will be… (of course dependent on how his day is)… Diane

  6. Amy says:

    Real life romance is way better than the contrived type. 🙂

  7. I love this tradition! Happy Anniversary – 23 is a lucky number! This year I will celebrate my 33rd anniversary–seems like only yesterday sometimes–sometimes it feels like forever–which is not a bad feeling either

  8. Trisha says:

    Happy anniversary! I bet he will love to see you with your new bangle. I hope the day is special for both of you.

  9. Very pretty – I love it Julie! ❤
    Diana xo

    Is it your birthday?

  10. haha You said it was your anniversary! I’m killing myself laughing at the apparent gnat-like attention span I’m donning this morning!

  11. niasunset says:

    Happy Anniversary, dear Julie, you are both so beautiful, Blessing and Happiness, love, nia

  12. This is so sweet! Happy Anniversary to both of you…I so feel the love. ❤

  13. Rhonda says:

    YES!!! Happy 23 my beautiful friend. Please dangle the bangle for us to see after Ants ‘gives’ it to you. xo

  14. Yes, treat yourself! Happy Anniversary! We also have never been much on gifts. Neither were my parents.

  15. janeslog says:

    Nothing wrong with being cautious with money! Better than spending it like water. Is there not a small jeweller who sells something just that wee bit different? Or a jewellery maker who can make you something special? Ants would love that.

    • jmgoyder says:

      There is a local jeweller who is not too expensive and can do something individual. Maybe I will sell him all the old bangles for the new one!

      • janeslog says:

        There are some jewellers in Glasgow and Lanarkshire who can make new items from your old ones.

        We also have the Glasgow School of Art where you can get some beautiful things made by staff and students.

  16. susanpoozan says:

    What a sweet story, happy anniversary.

  17. tootlepedal says:

    I hope that you find the queen of all bangles when you look.

  18. Happy Anniversary!!! And what a perfect gift! I know he will think it’s perfect too. 🙂 You are, after all, his girl.

  19. Terry says:

    Happy Anniversary to you two. What treasures you have acquired to hold on to forver

  20. My Heartsong says:

    Happy anniversary! I like the idea of engraving “23” on the bangle and must admit I am curious about his response.Wishing both of you some special moments. Somebody get a camera….

  21. your love is so beautiful and uplifting! sending xoxxo

  22. have a lovely happy day together

  23. bulldog says:

    Go for it… Ant is going to enjoy the fact you bought the bangle… I still have to take Linda on honeymoon.. I thought after 41 years she might have forgotten but she hasn’t

  24. I like this, you must have a nice collection of bangles

  25. I am so glad that you are going to mark this anniversary with a special bangle, it is so suiting for the occasion! 😀 Hugs Jules

  26. Kell and I resist what the culture and card companies deem romantic. We didn’t do Valentines, but today he came home from the building supply place with a purple velvet orchid to add to my collection. 🙂 Preferred over a cheesy card. Though I’ll take chocolate any time!

  27. Sounds wonderful! I’m sure he will be very pleased with “his” selection.

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