jmgoyder

wings and things

Dina

on June 25, 2015

I wrote about Dina from Chaos to Clear in previous posts, describing how this wonder woman helped me to declutter and reorganise the spaces inside and outside this house. The process was a twice-a-week visit from Dina, over a period of several months. She/we even tackled the sheds despite the possible presence of asbestos.

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During this process, Dina and I became friends. She visited Anthony with me (where we sorted a huge box of old photos and another box of old paperwork), and she even visited Anthony last week when I was away in Perth!

Dina also supported me in a face-to-face meeting with the managers at the nursing home about my desire to continue to visit various residents despite having resigned. Her presence at this meeting ensured that permission would be granted, and gave me the confidence to state that I was already a family friend of many of the residents.

Anyway, this week I suddenly found myself a bit overwhelmed again with a new accumulation of unopened mail, the dregs of clutter I was supposed to have eradicated/given away, and Ming’s stuff here and there untidying my newly tidy house. So I emailed Dina asking her to come back and help with these last jobs.

Then – the next morning – before Dina even had a chance to reply, I emailed her again to retract my request and that I could do it by myself but I needed to be accountable to someone.

Dina emailed me back saying yes and to just imagine she was there looking over my shoulder. So for two days now, I have been reporting back to her about what I’ve done, and she has been encouraging me (all of this via email). This kind of accountability has worked wonders in terms of motivation!

Depression (yes, I have it) sometimes means that the person afflicted wastes days worrying, and nights dreaming, about tasks that only take an hour or so. The fear of those tasks is, of course, irrational, but when you are in the throes of depression and/or anxiety, even the simplest of tasks can be overwhelming.

I haven’t admitted to many, including Dina, that I battle with depression but I’m sure she realises and I so appreciate her kindness and patience with me. And her incredible support beyond the call of duty!

Who would have known that when I simply googled “chaos” I would find such a beautiful friend. Thanks, Dina.


37 responses to “Dina

  1. I’m so glad you have had some support especially regarding the visitation process…. You’re in my thoughts and prayers Julie… Diane

  2. Judy says:

    I’m glad you are able to admit your depression. It is nothing to be ashamed of. I believe your depression is situational – it’s based upon the fact that you are immersed in watching your beloved husband deteriorate. That is tough and one day you’ll be back to feeling the sunshine again.
    You are amazing because you are actually a very positive woman with a great attitude and outlook. Your blog certainly is inspiring because you are so honest about your feelings. I love the way you write and certainly friends like Dina are a treasure when you’re in survival mode.

  3. janeslog says:

    Sometimes to take the bull by the horns and drag yourself to do something. You can tackle the tidying up yourself when you put your mind to it.

    Recently we decided to revamp the garden to make it easier to maintain because we were sick of having to spend some weekend time keeping it in check. A landscape company said they could do all manner of things but wanted about 5,000GBP so we decided to try it ourselves first.

    We bought some tools and found it was quite easy to clear bushes and hedges. The electric tiller got the ground nice and turned over. We still have a bit to do but the garden is looking much better and when finished we will only have to spend a few hours a month keeping it tidy.

    So from two people who have never done heavy gardening before we are beginning to see a lovely garden developing. Just make an attempt – if you fail then call in the experts but I advise anyone to try first.

  4. Some people are meant for our lives. 🙂 I get that, needing to be accountable. When I did NOT want to practice my martial arts I would pretend my instructors were watching me, so did I want them seeing me lie about watching tv or see me practicing. I have a vivid imagination so it worked for me. I’m glad you and Dina found one another.

  5. Vicki says:

    Dina sounds like a wonderful lady and a very special friend. It’s not easy de-cluttering and “throwing out the trash’ – I seem to remember writing a post about it on a health forum I belonged to in 2009.

    Throwing out the trash in our hearts and minds is even harder than the material stuff.

  6. Kim says:

    I understand exactly what you mean about obsessing about tasks and becoming just too overwhelmed to attempt them. I am in the same situation with my house at the moment. I vacillate between wanting to keep it all and just chucking it all out the door to the curb! I am going to give it a good try when I get home from my trip, however, I have already looked up some names for help if I need it. At this point, I value my sanity more than a few dollars to get someone else’s perspective! I have been more depressed lately as well and my doctor even upped my usual medication tho I’m not seeing many results as yet. You are not alone. I appreciate very much your honesty on your blog. One envelope at a time.

  7. thank you for that clear description of depression–you have made me feel better–my picture should be beside that description
    my boostraps need repair

  8. Hugs, Jules. ❤ I hope that "old black dog" doesn't stay to torment you too long!

  9. Amy says:

    I need a Dina in my life. I can relate to those moments when it just feels too overwhelming. Happy for you that you found such a wonderful friend.

  10. Dear Julie …. we may look like we are eternal Pollyannas on the outside as that is our public face

    …. but with the emotional load you deal with it would surprise no one that you deal with depression. I know my insomnia is all about depression/worry/stress.

    Not letting it consume you – reaching out for support and accountability – is one of the best things you can do!

    And, of course, the love and support you receive from all your wonderful bloggy friends!!!

    IttyBitty

  11. ksbeth says:

    this is wonderful and isn’t it amazing how the universe lines circumstances and people up for us, as it was meant to happen?

  12. Terry says:

    She is like me. Although I am not there in person, my heart and spirit are with you all day and every day. Big hugs

  13. You are one step ahead of the game because many who suffer from depression either don’t know how to ask for help or just can’t, you made a difference in your depression by reaching out and finding help, that is huge Jules. You are an amazing woman my friend. Hugs xxoo

  14. susanpoozan says:

    What a wonderful friend, just what you need, I am so glad that you discovered her.

  15. Lynda says:

    “…the person afflicted wastes days worrying, and nights dreaming, about tasks that only take an hour or so. The fear of those tasks is, of course, irrational, but when you are in the throes of depression and/or anxiety, even the simplest of tasks can be overwhelming.”

    Julie, you have exactly described what I go through every day. I thought I was the only one.

    • Lynda says:

      PS: And when I do manage a task I am ever amazed at how quickly the job got done. The tasks aren’t monumental I just lack the drive to start.

  16. Since classes have ended, I have been going through the accumulation in my office. Gadzooks! How could I have so much stuff! If it is a resource I have not used in over 5 years, I don’t need it. I have thrown out so much paper! Next project is my craft / sewing room!

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