Whenever Anthony says something during our afternoons together, I either hit ‘mute’ on the television, or ‘pause’ if it’s a dvd.
This is so that I can listen and respond to whatever he is saying, or trying to say. His voice has become very whispery and sometimes croaky lately and, even when he does get the words out, they sometimes
don’t
make
sense….
The following dialogue is an example of how weird and wonderful our conversations can be. I am learning how to be unafraid of nonsense, to enter its world in an Alice-in-Wonderland kind of way, to talk, listen, laugh and pause.
Anthony: How did you know where to find me?
Me: Instinct.
Anthony: You have good instincts.
Me: I know.
PAUSE
Anthony: Can you get this calf to get out of underneath the….
Me: What?
Anthony: This bbbb mmmm toothpaste.
Me: What? Try again.
Anthony: The cat toothpaste.
Me: The toothpaste is free, Ants, and there’s no cat here. Anyway I thought you hated cats.
Anthony: There are five.
Me: You’re hallucinating but I’ll shoo them away, anyway; is that better?
Anthony: Not much.
PAUSE
Me: So, do you think I look different today?
Anthony: No.
Me: Ants, I am wearing a dress for God’s sake. I never wear dresses!
Anthony: Oh.
Me: So what is different about me?
Anthony: Your legs are shorter.
Me: Oh.
Anthony: Is Mum okay?
Me: My mum or your mum?
Anthony: Ours.
Me: She’s fine.
Anthony: Where’s Ming?
Me: He’s at work but he’s coming to visit soon.
Anthony: Does he know I’m at the Rose Hotel?
Me: I’ll tell him.
Anthony: Where is your mother?
Me: Why do you always want to know where my mother is?
Anthony: Well she should be here and I’m worried about her eyes.
Me: Can we just watch the show, Ants?
Anthony: Haven’t we seen this, Jules?
Me: Well it’s a series, so yes and no. We are now up to the third season.
Anthony: Can you bumblebee the cardboard over there?
Me: What?
Anthony: Can you mmmbrrr oh my words don’t. What’s the thing wrong again, Jules?
Me: Ants, you have Parkinson’s, plus you are really quite old. And you have very strange ears.
Anthony: I have perfect ears!
PAUSE
Anthony: You have a sexy stomach.
Me: WHAT? Stop looking at my stomach – I ate too much lunch!
Anthony: Look at mine – I’m thin.
Me: Well there’s no need to rub it in.
PAUSE
Anthony: There’s that baby again.
Me: It’s not a baby; it’s my handbag! See!
Anthony: I think we should go to Golden Valley [his childhood home].
Me: Not today. It’s too cold.
PAUSE
Anthony: Jules?
Me: Yes?
Anthony: Bbbb mmmm – oh I can’t speak.
Me: Do you want the rug on your knees?
Anthony: That’s the elbow, good.
PAUSE
Me: You’re adorable and I love you.
Anthony: Mmm.
Me: You’re supposed to say it back.
Anthony: What?
Me: ‘I love you’.
Anthony: I know you do.
Me: No, I mean you’re supposed to say ‘I love you’ back to me!
Anthony: You already do.
PAUSE
Me: I’ll show you a picture of Ming dressed up as a nurse for Halloween, okay? You are going to be shocked.
Anthony: Nothing shocks me.
Me: Okay, check this out!
Anthony: He is magnificent!
I rest my case: nonsense is a good thing!
jmgoyder 
Nonsense indeed. How do you remember it all?
Ha – I take notes.
hahahahaha – smiles help everything. p.s. i’ve been to the rose hotel for afternoon tea
OMG!
Nonsense is a magnificent thing. And Anthony is brilliant! 🙂
I agree!
Sounds like a lot of fun to me. I think as long as we always maintain our sense of humour in life, we will always get along ok.
You are so right Vicki.
The mind is so weird and wonderful. For Anthony, he lives with a combination of dreams and moments of reality in the mixture….. Well maybe we all do, just in different proportions…. Diane
I think you have hit the nail on the head Diane!
I am laughing…..at Ming…and I am admiring you and Ants. 🙂
Ming is definitely good for a laugh!
This is like listening to a radio play at times. Ants the funny man and you the straight man. Now, I know…PD has it’s paws all over this, but sometimes, it’s easy to forget because no matter what it is you two are doing…you are so natural at it. Does that make sense?
Perfect sense!
This reminds me so much of what I went through with my mom. I grew to understand her nonsense and deal with it. I loved her and as she regressed, my love didn’t change. But remembering the lucid conversations from years before often made me sad, because I missed that former connection and closeness. The disease stole that. It is a huge loss and it is inspiring the way you deal with it.
Sometimes Anthony is totally unable to speak but I am getting better at reading his mind.
Enjoy the nonsense as it is better then silence in my opinion
That’s exactly what I was just thinking!
Ming is rather frightening but I suppose that that is the point.
Exactly. It was even more frightening having lunch with him that day.
I can believe that.
I think i’d be a bit worried if I had that nurse looking after me Julie!
i love reading these exchanges, it makes ours seem more normal:) you have such a heartwarming love story every day of life. sending you xxx