jmgoyder

wings and things

Death-defying

on December 29, 2015

Anthony has lived, breathed and survived so many diseases now that it is gobsmacking that he is still alive and (almost) pain-free. He is like some sort of super-hero in the ‘high care’ section of the nursing home, and very popular with the staff because, after nearly four years there, he still has a twinkle in his eye.

Of course, sometimes he seems semi-comatose; other times, he is alert. It’s the same with verbal cognition: sometimes he is unable even to say a single word; other times he is vociferous. I haven’t seen him walk for awhile, but maybe he does that in the morning and I usually get there at lunch-time or in the afternoon.

Most of Anthony’s regular visitors – me, my fantastic mother, Ming, friends, family, and volunteers – actually speak to him, reminisce with him and this is wonderful. And the staff are fantastically interactive with him to the point of flirtatiousness. Be careful, girls – he is mine!

The rumour, spread by a family member, that Ants was near death, was disturbing to say the least, but, once I rang him, he admitted his mistake. It didn’t seem to occur to him that his rumour might have upset Ming and me.

This morning, I received a phone-call from a neighbour who hadn’t seen Ants for awhile and he was shocked at Anthony’s confusion and appearance. I reassured him that Ants was always a bit dishevelled in the morning. Later on today, my mother rang me to say she was with Ants and she gave me her phone so I could speak to him.

Anthony: Where are you?
Me: Ming and I are fixing a fence.
Anthony: At Bythorne?
Me: Yes.

Please don’t die, Ants. Not yet.


37 responses to “Death-defying

  1. Hugs to you, Ming and Ants and Happy New Year! ❤
    Diana xo

  2. Julia says:

    Julie, you are the sheep angel, looking after her tiny flock. Perhaps some poetry to ease down the hill with those exasperating, rocky outcrops?

  3. Much love to you and Ming and Ants, and your flock Julie. Witnessing your capacity to treasure each moment, to breathe through each upheaval and upset, is humbling. You have such a beautiful heart. Thank you for sharing it with us here too.

  4. Judy says:

    Julie, reading your posts reminds me of watching a glorious sunset and anticipating the darkness. Just know, that you will have many hands to hold you when that time comes and I guarantee you that the sun will rise and shine on you again. Of course, you realize that Anothony’s death is inevitable. But you will discover that much of your mourning has been happening over the last four years. I wish there was a way I could comfort you more.

  5. Amy says:

    Such a wonderful testament to the many forms in which good health can come. May you have many more days to spend with Ants.

  6. susanpoozan says:

    Keep thinking positive, you are very good at it. Wishing you all the best possible 2016 whatever happens.

  7. Trisha says:

    Hugs to you, Julie. Your strength is such an inspiration.

  8. Luanne says:

    Hugs to you and your family, Julie.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for sharing your tender and powerful love story.

  10. ksbeth says:

    happy new year to all of you and the human spirit is amazing, isn’t it?

  11. tootlepedal says:

    I second your request to Ants. A good new year to you and all of yours….with a special wave to that likely lad Ming.

  12. I’m so glad that Anthony has proven strong beyond compare, I wish you and your entire adorable family the happiest of New Year’s xxoo Hugs Jules 😀

  13. Vicki says:

    I think Life is definitely more a winner in Anthony’s race.
    Hope you and your family have a wonderful New Year and many more treasured moments with your beloved.

  14. I don’t think Anthony has any desire to leave you Julie. He will only go when he has no choice. And I have a feeling he’s been sweet talking the Decision Maker because of that girl he loves. You know the one. ❤

  15. I am so happy for you that Anthony is still with you, even though with sad overtones at times.
    Wishing peace and joy for you in 2016. 🙂

  16. paulaacton says:

    Sending you love and best wishes as always and remember for someone who has not seen Ants for a while the shock may be exaggerated think of all those time when Ming was little and you would bump into someone and they would say my hasn’t he grown up! Because you are there every day your judgement on his health today is better than anyone elses, for the others they just compare him to the man they knew before and probably don’t spend enough time there is see he is still there inside, as I write this New Years Eve will be beginning over there, life is fleeting, and fate is a cruel mistress one can never be sure what she has planned so get a bottle of that champagne in the freezer, celebrate another year we have all survived and the beginning of a new one where the only thing we can do is make the most of every day xxxx

  17. It is understandable that those who don’t see Anthony very often may be shocked to see him how he is now, but he is alive and still knows who you are and he enjoys seeing you. He has good days and bad days and somewhere in the middle days

  18. Wish you and your family a happy new year of lots of those special heart-warming moments!

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