wings and things


on January 1, 2016

In the last few moments of the year just gone, I broke my holstered, hesitant silence about your illnesses
and blog-blurted little retrospective bits of the puzzle
that has become you.

I wish that I had spoken up earlier
I wish that I had defended you better
I wish that I hadn’t succumbed to your gag order, your insistence on peace at all costs.

Now that you are so incapacitated, I want to be the LOUD of your frail voice; I want to be the SHRIEK of your silent tears; I want to be the STORY of all of your histories.

You won’t approve, of course. You won’t want anybody to know that your heart was so broken that it took the arrival of Ming to heal you. That amazing moment when you became a father and I became a mother ….

Happy new year Ants.

20 responses to “Anthony

  1. Yvonne says:

    Wow. Strong stuff, good on ya!

  2. susanpoozan says:

    What a heart-rending post, you did what you had to and now you have found your voice, well done indeed.

  3. Julie – A huge, warm, Canadian hug for you! Happy New Year Julie, Ants and Ming! ❤
    Diana xo

  4. Happy New Year from me here in Tassie. All the best for 2016. 🙂

  5. Vicki says:

    Find your voice is like finding a lost pet. There are cries of joy, jubilation and more than a little hesitation over expressing such emotions publicly.

    But its there and should be vocalised.

    Hope 2016 brings the very best life can offer in this turbulent world we live in. Hope you, Ming and Ants get many more moments of sharing and loving together as you continue on life’s journey.

    One never knows what the future will bring, but the important thing is to practice Mindfulness and live with no regrets, no half-hearted expressions of who you are and what you truly feel.

    Much Love

  6. Happy New Year, Julie.

  7. huge wrongs, huge rights. he was healed by the beautiful boy that the two of you created.

    i love the three of you and your heart-breaking, heart-warming and heart- laughing story

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: