wings and things


on February 21, 2017

Ming and have both sought psychological help over the last few years and one of the most difficult questions to answer is “what are your values?” I think this is a very tricky question, but an important one. It is also a question that I have found extremely challenging to answer.

Stereotypical answers might be: health, family, financially okay, great relationships, good job, political stability, beautiful kids, long life etc. but these are too vague and I don’t like my own vagueness.

Perhaps the question should be rephrased to “what do I value?” This turns the noun ‘value’ into the verb ‘value’ and, in my opinion, makes the question easier to answer. For example, I know what I value most, whereas I can’t quite pinpoint what my values are.

What do I value most?

  • Kindness (the giving and receiving of);
  • My son’s growing wisdom;
  • Anthony’s smile;
  • Authentic relationships with family and friends;
  • Humour;
  • My ability to write about dementia;
  • The new puppy, Pip;
  • Honesty; and
  • Salad.

I haven’t been very good lately at looking after my physical, psychological and emotional health but, like many, I baulk at self-helpy stuff. But there is nothing wrong with self-help! After all, the best way of helping others, which is something I feel passionate about, is to get yourself on track first, surely.

Ming comes home tomorrow from a 6-day intensive beginning to a diploma in psychology which he will complete in around 15 months. He seems to have found his niche and I can’t wait to hear about all of it; we have already had some fascinating phone conversations.

Even pre-dementia, Anthony would never have understood Ming’s passion for helping people; nevertheless he would be so proud if he understood. Often Ants still thinks Ming is a toddler so when this great big man steps into the nursing home room it can be a bit confusing.

Ah yes – other things I value:

  • Laughter;
  • Still being in love; and
  • Ming.

18 responses to “Values

  1. mimijk says:

    Rock solid values, my dear

  2. susanpoozan says:

    What a wonderful list of the things that you value, an inspiration to others.

  3. angelasommers says:

    Beautifully said. You really have your head on straight and I am grateful you are sharing your experiences. Even though I have a whole different set of circumstances, your blog has helped me a lot! Your cheery attitude is infectious!

  4. This has made me think of what do I value, not something I really have given any thought to but like you I value family, love, compassion and kindness

  5. tootlepedal says:

    Those last three values are good values to have.

  6. Good vlaues. We did a list of values in a job club that I attended and it was a thoughtful process, good to consider when looking for a job match, partner, even things to do in spare time. Wishing you joy today.

  7. Vicki says:

    Excellent things to be valued, Julie.

    Kindness and wisdom (and integrity for me) are very special.

  8. ksbeth says:

    what wonderful things you hold so dear –

  9. Wonderful values, and I am glad that you included one for yourself … in your writing creativity.

  10. Positioning – that’s what I love about your personal accounts – it makes us THINK about what may happen if we were in the same position.
    My only wish was to have helped my Gran in her last few years, but it wasn’t to be (see “An Allergy To Life”).
    Nice, sighing hug…
    PS Have you any Black Cockatoos around your place? I’ll be assisting in a survey of the squawkers soon!

  11. ingridrick says:

    Not necessarily in that order 🙂 That’s so lovely that Ming has found his niche …

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