Anthony: Howdy!
Me: ‘Howdy’?
Anthony: Too much time with John Wayne, I guess.
Me: Always joking, never serious, my husband, the life of the party.
Anthony: You sound angry, Jules.
Me: I am angry, Ants!
Anthony: Not my problem.
Me: What do you mean, not your problem? You died! OMG you are just as impossible as you were when you were alive!
Anthony: Is this about Ming?
Me: No! Well, yes! Okay, maybe. He doesn’t remember you being a conventional dad. Actually, he doesn’t remember you being a dad at all and I have to show him photos to prove to him that you were a wonderful dad before you got sick.
Anthony: Is that all?
Me: What do you mean, ‘is that all?’ Ming is affected, Ants!
Anthony: You worry too much, Jules. Ming is a fine, strapping, slightly taller version of me.
Me: Actually, he is quite a lot taller than you, Ants.
Anthony: All-right, I’ll concede that.
Me: I was just telling him about how much you loved him and how you use to say “My Boy” and I made myself cry. Ridiculous!
Anthony: Not ridiculous at all, Jules. I am a force to be reckoned with.
Me: I guess I am in the reckoning-with phase of grief then?
Anthony: No, Jules! You aren’t in any phase – you are just you and everything about you- being-you is absolutely perfect.
Me: I miss you so much; it’s a physical pain in my stomach.
Anthony: How’s my boy? How is Ming?
Me: Don’t you care about my stomach?
Anthony: Yes, but how is Ming?
Me: I think he might be in love.
Anthony: Just a sec. – talking to Wayney.
Me: Wayney?
Anthony: John Wayne.
Me (sigh): Okay, so what does he suggest?
Anthony: Eat more greens.
jmgoyder 
Keep up the therapy, you are doing so well.
And you are so kind, Susan – I really appreciate it x
Wayney is probably right.
Seems like you and Anthony know each other better than anyone I know. Still.
Good evening, Julie!
I am so glad that you have Ming in your life. I suspect he is a comfort. OH! And tell him that is a lovely cake! Was that for his B-Day or just because from the new girl friend? ❤
You are handling this with such a healthy attitude. Most would wallow, but not you, you are releasing. Now that you've gotten that off your chest go have a nice dinner and a very restful and restoring sleep tonight.
Love,
Lynda
Thanks Lynda – the pic is from last year and I think it was Anthony’s b’day xx
I think you’ll continue these conversations with Ants for the rest of you life, Julie. He has never left you. He continues to surround you with his beautiful and enduring love.
I think you are right!
Another great conversation it must be hard for Ming trying to remember his dad being a dad and not just a sick old man
I got the same advice today. I hope Ming survives love.