jmgoyder

wings and things

Imagined conversation 39

on June 13, 2018

Anthony: Howdy!

Me: ‘Howdy’?

Anthony: Too much time with John Wayne, I guess.

Me: Always joking, never serious, my husband, the life of the party.

Anthony: You sound angry, Jules.

Me: I am angry, Ants!

Anthony: Not my problem.

Me: What do you mean, not your problem? You died! OMG you are just as impossible as you were when you were alive!

Anthony: Is this about Ming?

Me: No! Well, yes! Okay, maybe. He doesn’t remember you being a conventional dad. Actually, he doesn’t remember you being a dad at all and I have to show him photos to prove to him that you were a wonderful dad before you got sick.

Anthony: Is that all?

Me: What do you mean, ‘is that all?’ Ming is affected, Ants!

Anthony: You worry too much, Jules. Ming is a fine, strapping, slightly taller version of me.

Me: Actually, he is quite a lot taller than you, Ants.

Anthony: All-right, I’ll concede that.

Me: I was just telling him about how much you loved him and how you use to say “My Boy” and I made myself cry. Ridiculous!

Anthony: Not ridiculous at all, Jules. I am a force to be reckoned with.

Me: I guess I am in the reckoning-with phase of grief then?

Anthony: No, Jules! You aren’t in any phase – you are just you and everything about you- being-you is absolutely perfect.

Me: I miss you so much; it’s a physical pain in my stomach.

Anthony: How’s my boy? How is Ming?

Me: Don’t you care about my stomach?

Anthony: Yes, but how is Ming?

Me: I think he might be in love.

Anthony: Just a sec. – talking to Wayney.

Me: Wayney?

Anthony: John Wayne.

Me (sigh): Okay, so what does he suggest?

Anthony: Eat more greens.IMG_0008


9 responses to “Imagined conversation 39

  1. susanpoozan says:

    Keep up the therapy, you are doing so well.

  2. Wayney is probably right.

    Seems like you and Anthony know each other better than anyone I know. Still.

  3. Lynda says:

    Good evening, Julie!

    I am so glad that you have Ming in your life. I suspect he is a comfort. OH! And tell him that is a lovely cake! Was that for his B-Day or just because from the new girl friend? ❤

    You are handling this with such a healthy attitude. Most would wallow, but not you, you are releasing. Now that you've gotten that off your chest go have a nice dinner and a very restful and restoring sleep tonight.

    Love,
    Lynda

  4. Judy says:

    I think you’ll continue these conversations with Ants for the rest of you life, Julie. He has never left you. He continues to surround you with his beautiful and enduring love.

  5. Another great conversation it must be hard for Ming trying to remember his dad being a dad and not just a sick old man

  6. tootlepedal says:

    I got the same advice today. I hope Ming survives love.

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