wings and things

The twists and turns of grief

on February 4, 2023

Today would have been Anthony’s 87th birthday. Since he died, over six years ago, I have missed him to the point of sobbing (yesterday).

I have forgotten all about him. And then I remember and feel a sickening guilt.

I have created an imaginary dialogue with him on this blog.

I have tried to create a new life-without-Anthony for myself.

And I have been able to see how Ming is, in so many ways, his father’s son, especially in terms of kindness.

Grief is the weirdest thing: it hits you when you least expect it (automatically buying Anthony’s favourite cheese in the supermarket); bumping into an old friend who didn’t know he had died; the latest photo of our first grandchild who Anthony will never see ….

…. but there is also a joyful component to grief I guess, in that the person you miss so much was the most wonderful person ever.

Happy birthday, Ants

5 responses to “The twists and turns of grief

  1. beth says:


  2. Happy Birthday in the stars, Anthony. You were such a fortunate man. Not many are loved as deeply as your wife still loves you.

  3. judyrutrider says:

    I wonder if it’s a blessing or a curse that the longer a loved one is gone, the more we remember only his good qualities and none of his faults. Perhaps that’s why saints are only created after death.

  4. Grief is horrible and pops up when least expected

  5. Anonymous says:

    Yes. He is remembered often and especially on days like today. We always used to joke about him catching up to me. Just one year younger than his mother in law. This wonderful warm funny and lovng man will never be forgotten.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: