Family | jmgoyder

Pathetic poetry

by jmgoyder

Today is in the dustpan

except for what we planned.

The visitors brought some sweet delights

and I stopped Godfrey’s angry bites

The taxi driver picked Ants up.

but saw my tears and asked ‘what’s up?’

I told him of our history

and he extended his hand towards me.

The days are getting bittersweet

and breathing sometimes seems a feat.

The happy cancels out the sad,

the sadness cancels out the glad.

If I were to go way back in time

I’d find a more specific rhyme.

My heart is torn away from me

and I just want to be left to be….

a bee

on a flower

in the sunshine

or else a perfect syllable.

Animal Family Friendship

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It’s nearly spring!

by jmgoyder

Yesterday I posted a photo of our male white peacock’s budding relationship with one of our two white female peahens. Here are three more pictures of the same scene. Aren’t they beautiful?

Ages ago, the other white peahen formed a relationship with one of the colorful peacocks. What amazes me about the peafowl is the delicacy with which they approach each other – so different from the loud and very public ‘frolicking’ of the geese, ducks and, now that I have allowed the roosters to meet the hens, those guys too!

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I am stuck at home today because Centrelink (Australian social security organization) have booked me for a telephone appointment in order to put me on something called ‘Newstart’ (not this isn’t a drug!) while I look for a job now that I have had to resign from the university. They were supposed to have rung nearly and hour ago so I am beginning to get annoyed. Ming also has a phone appointment at 2pm to discuss what benefits he may be entitled to. I have been in and out of Centrelink since late last year when it became obvious that Anthony would have to be temporarily ‘placed’ in care on a trial basis so that I could go to Perth to be with Ming during his spinal surgery. Since then I have been somewhat remiss in providing information this organization has asked for so have done so in a haphazard way in between having several nervous breakdowny episodes, you know, getting down in the dumps!

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Yesterday I had the best visit to Anthony’s nursing lodge ever. Instead of sitting in his room to sort out the Golden Valley photos, we sat in the dining room with the big box of photos and, surrounded by nurses and carers going to and fro, we managed to find several more photos of Golden Valley from Anthony’s childhood time there, including of trees he himself planted.

During our treasure hunting I found a couple of photos of Ants as a young man and showed some of the staff and there was a lot of laughing and banter because he was posing rather arrogantly in just short shorts with his muscles flexing and looked a hell of a lot like Ming does now. The couple of hours I was there broke the ice as I have, so far, been quite nervous of the staff and almost sychophantically grateful. I am rather loud and laughy and Ants and I are in an unusual category in the sense that most of the people in his ward are either alone or have spouses who are also quite old.

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I am so proud of Ming. He has taken over in a way and is just like Ants. Ming has arranged for the termite people to do their thing (long overdue); cleaned out the garage of all the junk that Ants, being a hoarder, wouldn’t do and, in collaboration, we have had the nearly 30-year-old BMW serviced and ready to drive and now fixed up the nearly dead ute. We are getting some long overdue stuff done and it is such a great feeling! It makes me want to kiss the breeze.

Family Friendship Wings

46 Comments »

Love story 86 – Now and then…

by jmgoyder

My fantastic husband, Anthony, has now been living at the nursing lodge for around 6 months, during which time it has become more and more difficult to bring him home. At first we did overnighters but, due to many of his Parkinson’s disease symptoms, this gradually became impossible. Then Ming and I tried to bring Anthony home just for the day and that, too, became difficult due to his increasing immobility and other factors.

Just recently, I have utilized the services of a wheelchair taxi and that has been relatively successful, though expensive until I fill out the 500 page form and produce a zillion bits of ID. I don’t tell Ants about the expense because he has always been a money worrier. The following picture is of just before Ants went into the nursing lodge. Our little alien is in the background climbing onto to the roof to dance again.

I have only just rediscovered this photo and it makes me wonder because Anthony has an expressionless face (Parkinson’s disease does that), but he’s still giving a ‘thumbs up’! I think this was around two years ago. A lot has happened since then.

Sometimes I miss Anthony being home to the point where I soak my pillow with sobbing; sometimes I feel a stab of relief that I no longer have to do what we used to call ‘the night shift’; sometimes I miss the past so much that I want to go back …

… to the day we got married

… to the day Ming was born.

But now is now, and now is unavoidable and now is good.

Family LOVE STORY Wings

46 Comments »

This and that

by jmgoyder

Yesterday the ute (truck) died and today it had to be towed into town to a place where they specialize in vehicle resuscitation.

Before Ming had his spinal operation he liked dancing on the roof. He is not allowed to do this anymore.

Today’s photo journey with Ants may not happen until late, maybe even tomorrow, because we have to wait to hear from the vehicle resuscitation people first. I spoke to Anthony on the phone and he was okay about this except for a new melancholic voice thing he has recently acquired.

I have acquired a new pragmatic voice thing and told him to stuff it up his jumper (it’s okay, we both laughed).

The pest control people are coming tomorrow morning to inspect our white ant (termite) problem and eradicate it and then charge us a small fortune that I will pay happily but begrudgingly. I did ask them if they could do it for free but they said no.

We now have more wild rabbits here that I have even seen – whole families of rabbits EVERYWHERE. Yes, they are cute, but they are also digging up the foundations of all of the buildings and I have noticed that the house is tilting a bit (kidding!) I am once again considering the gun option.

Thanks to Tootlepedal’s blog, I have become more interested in flowers and am planning my sunflower garden. I figure if I plant zillions then the birds can have some and we can have some. I am very excited about this idea but haven’t put it into action yet.

Ming has begun volunteering one morning a week at Djidi djidi Aboriginal school and he loves it. http://www.deewr.gov.au/Indigenous/Schooling/Documents/CaseStudyDjidiDjidiAboriginalSchool.pdf

I am going to buy some hedgeclippers tomorrow to prune the roses before my gardening friend comes over on Friday because I want to impress her.

The new chooks are laying copious amounts of eggs and so is Tapper, our female duck, so I am trying new egg recipes (in my mind I mean – I haven’t done them yet).

Ming has written two beautiful songs for his Certificate 4 in music. He is also trying to grow a beard.

The beautiful people at the university’s computer department have put all of my writings onto a thumb drive for me and tomorrow I get my final pay check.

There seems to be some reluctance from the nursing lodge to employ me and I am still waiting for this verdict.

I found four beautiful things to post to Nia who gave me the beautiful cushion/pillow cushions.

Ming wants to be a dairy farmer like Anthony and I am thrilled. He works for our neighbours on a part-time basis and loves it!

The little girl who has had nearly two years of battling cancer is home again, thank God.

Our friend who was in the car accident three weeks ago is gradually recovering, thank God.

I am learning, via the blogs I read, that every single moment is a gift.

Family Friendship

37 Comments »

Golden Valley

by jmgoyder

Okay, I took the suitcase full of photos in today and Anthony identified that eight of them were of the place where he grew up. We haven’t been able to finish examining the hundreds of old photos yet, and it will probably take a few days. The funny thing is that we have looked at these photos previously, but never organized them. A few family members have been through the ‘magic’ box and taken anything that means something to them but there’s still a lot there and Ants is very protective of this treasure chest.

I love having the responsibility of organizing, perhaps even cataloguing, and sharing these photos while Anthony is still able to tell me who is whom and where is where. He has always had an amazing memory for details and dates when it comes to his family history. It’s great to have now been prompted to enter into this treasure hunt.

Anyway, this place where Ants spent most of his childhood was, and is, called Golden Valley, in the picturesque town of Balingup. Over recent years it has become a tourist attraction and the house has been renovated, although I’m not sure about the ballroom because Anthony has always said that at one end of the house there used to be a huge, high-ceilinged room. Before Anthony got so ill, we used to go for drives down there to look at the renovations.

The people who are organizing an event to celebrate Golden Valley are delighted to be coming up next week to visit Anthony in the nursing lodge, and see the photos which of course we have said they can borrow. I am hoping, hoping, hoping it will be possible to get Ants down to Golden Valley on the day of the event. Here is their website fyi.

http://www.goldenvalleytreepark.org.au/

Family

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Uncanny!

by jmgoyder

When Ming was born the youngest of Anthony’s nephews and nieces was 20 years old. Here is a picture of S. and Ming (it’s a bit water damaged – check out the funny ghost in the window!)

Sixteen years later and S. has his own little son and here is Ming holding him. I love the resemblance of the two photos, both taken in our kitchen.

Family

24 Comments »

An old box of old photos

by jmgoyder

This is really exciting!

A little town down south of here is on the brink of celebrating the existence of the place where Anthony grew up.

Long story short: I’ve been asked to find old photos of this beautiful place which is now a tree park.

I am taking the box of old photos into the nursing lodge tomorrow to see what Anthony can remember – and I already know he will remember everything.

And the committee women who are organizing the event are coming up to visit Anthony next week. I told them that he planted some of these trees as a boy.