jmgoyder

wings and things

Feb 9

How Queenie puts her peachicks to bed

by jmgoyder

This evening I sat outside from around 5 – 7pm as Queenie began the ritual of taking her kids to bed up in the avocado tree. First, she wandered around with them following her, digging into the ground with her big feet to give the chicks insects, showing them how to drink from a shallow bowl I’d put near the avocado tree, finding the wheat always there for all of the birds. At first I was a bit alarmed to find the little family out of the pen as early as 5pm but I guess they are now a bit beyond the pen and like to wander around the yard and back paddock freely. King (obviously the dad) stayed with them for ages, protectively.

I have maintained a respectful distance but they all come close to me anyway; they trust me and seem to rather like the flash of the camera. The photos I have put here show their long, but enjoyable, journey to bed but this is the first time I have seen the finale. I was amazed to see how the two peachicks can actually fly quite high now from branch to branch, up and up, and until they reach their mother. Queenie clucks until they get to her.

Of course the two peachicks are still extremely vulnerable; they might be taken by crows, they might drown in the pond (now that they are out of the yards), but I am hopeful that wise Queenie will prevent these possible catastrophes and King is right by her side for much of the time.

In watching this beautiful bedtime ritual, I remembered how much the birds helped me cope with the misery of Anthony’s illness, the nursing home process, Ming’s spinal operation and so many other things. Now the birds are helping me to cope with a whole new set of miseries which I blogged about yesterday, then trashed because it was all too sad. In trashing the post, I guess I also trashed the comments and I apologize for this and am grateful for those comments. Now I think the best thing is to get back to these beautiful birds for awhile.

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As usual Gutsy9 became really jealous and insisted that I took her photo too.
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Tonight, I would love to be one of Queenie’s peachicks, up high in the avocado tree, under her gentle wings.

But I am a bit too big!

Animal blogging Family Friendship Grief Happiness LOVE STORY Parkinson's disease Wings

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Jan 19

Another little blog break

by jmgoyder

One of the unexpected bonuses of blogging for me has been the very real friendships formed, the mutual support, the shared humour, the shared grief. The lessons of life that I have learned through other people’s stories, and interactions, have taught me how to better do empathy and sympathy, and forced me to feel the difference.

Thanks so much for those of you who have commented, ‘liked’, and given me your friendships. For those of you who are bloggers, I am struggling at the moment to keep up with your writings, so please forgive me for that. For Facebook friends, same thing really!

Ming goes to court in three days. Apparently he and I simply appear, his charges will be read out, and the case will be adjourned by our lawyer until the end of February. So I really need to concentrate on all of this at least until the beginning of February, and blogging will go on the back burner for the time being.

Hard to believe now that when I began blogging it was all about the birds.

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blogging Family Friendship Grief Happiness LOVE STORY Parkinson's disease Wings

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Jan 19

Itchy hands

by jmgoyder

For a couple of days now my hands have been painfully itchy (apparently there is a myth that this means I am coming into some unexpected money – ha!)

I noticed that on the sides of each of my fingers there are several miniature blisters so I thought I’d google the condition and here is what I found:

http://www.pompholyx.co.uk/your_experiences.html

Yes, it would seem that I have pompholyx which of course I have never heard of before. It’s a form of eczema apparently, and the causes include everything from humidity to stress (both of which fit my situation). I’m a little alarmed to find that it may get worse but I’m also relieved that it may simply go away of its own accord. As diseases go, it certainly isn’t serious, but the itchiness is driving me slightly crazy because I want to scratch my hands to bits.

Changing the subject: I wrote a post about Ming yesterday but I trashed it soon after because it seemed a bit disloyal to a son who is, after all, only 10% evil haha! But I realize it will already have been seen by some so, just to reassure you, he and I are once again on the same page, and my new nickname for him is “90%”.

Another update: even though I briefly sighted a couple of the peahens the other day, I haven’t seen them again and five are still missing. Nesting season is well and truly over so I think I will have to assume that they have either flown away (to get away from the peacocks’ attention), or have been killed by foxes. I am hoping it’s the former but I will never know. My peacock-knowledgeable friend, Mike, came over to see us yesterday because Anthony was home for the day and I asked him if the males would be okay without their ‘wives’ and he reassured me that they would, but it is still sad to have lost the girls. I guess, you never know, they might come back. That’s the risk with free-range but I never wanted to pen them in.

I’m off soon to go into the nursing home for the afternoon. It is only one street away from the beach so much cooler than here on the farm. Pompholyx is not contagious so that’s okay; I just hope he doesn’t notice that I have taken my wedding and engagement rings off because there were a couple of blisters underneath them. My ring finger feels really naked as, except to clean the rings, I have never taken them off.

Here are some photos of the peahens (much more pleasant than a photo of my blistered hands):

Queenie
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Animal blogging Family Friendship Grief Happiness LOVE STORY Parkinson's disease Wings

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Jan 9

A tip for taking people with Parkinson’s disease out and about

by jmgoyder

As Anthony’s Parkinson’s disease (diagnosed several years ago now) has worsened, it has become increasingly difficult to take him out, or bring him home from the nursing home. For a few months last year, I relied on the wheelchair taxi because he had become so heavy to manouevre. Then, with some tweaking of his medications (by his specialists and doctors) and with a renewed sense of determination on my part, and special attention to timing, I began again to take him out by myself.

The timing of Parkinson’s disease medications is vital. If Anthony doesn’t get his 11am pill, he is paralysed by noon. The staff at the nursing home have been brilliant at getting this right. This means that if I pick him up for lunch he is able to walk (using a walker) to the car, get in with just a bit of a shove from me, get out again with a 1, 2, 3 pull up from me, walk into a cafe or whatever, eat some cake, and walk (using the walker again) back to the car.

His next scheduled pill for the day is 4pm but I really think it should be 3pm because that is the time that he always begins to falter, with his words, movements etc. so, if he is home, I give it to him early because we have had some extremely difficult situations where I just cannot get him to move his feet at all, let alone walk. I guess we are getting to the stage now where I have to bring both the walker and a wheelchair with us if we go out.

The person who most inspired me to take Anthony out more is Terry at http://terry1954.wordpress.com/

Terry has been looking after her brother, Al for years and Al doesn’t just have PD, he also has MSA (see Terry’s blog for what this is like). Al is now bedridden and on the brink of death with Terry constantly by his side. She has always inspired me in the way she copes with pragmatism and prayer in equal amounts.

But, before Al reached this stage, Terry used to to take him out and about, to his favourite shops and restaurants. I read about these escapades with mixture of delight and admiration, but what really struck me was how much joy this gave Terry herself. She is the person who gave me the impetus to take Anthony out and about more.

And, if I get the timing right, Ants and I can still have a rollicking time (well sort of!) However, here is where Terry and I are different; she took Al to places Al liked to go to (she is unselfish), whereas I now take Anthony to places I like to go (I am selfish).

However, that is my tip: instead of seeing it as a chore to take someone with PD or any other disease out of the nursing home for a bit of a break, think of where YOU would like to go. That way, the outing is transformed from a job into a joy.

Just don’t go to the beach (wheelchairs don’t do well on sand!)

This post is dedicated to Terry and Al.

blogging Family Friendship Grief Happiness LOVE STORY Parkinson's disease

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Jan 7

Prayer

by jmgoyder

I am not really sure what prayer is any more, but, whatever it is, I have rediscovered it.

Earlier today I reblogged a post written for Robyn by her friend, Resa, but like many a reblog, it didn’t get read by that many people on my own blog, so I thought I would add something here to encourage people to check it out AND to check out Robyn’s own blog at:

My Story

I have known Robyn since I began blogging and was compelled by her courage in dealing with debilitating physical pain, her talent for photography and poetry, and her immediate and generous friendship to me. But a few months ago she stopped blogging and I knew things must be badly wrong, so I sent her a couple of tentative emails, worried that I might be intruding, but she replied and told me things were not so good.

Since then, I have worried and wondered and prayed and been scared for her so, it wasn’t until Resa posted about Robyn that I knew about her impending major hip surgery this week. I cannot imagine the kind of physical pain Robyn has endured over the years, but I can imagine the hope felt by Robyn, and her family and friends, that this surgery will vastly improve her condition, and that it will take away the pain.

Many people who follow this blog already know Robyn, but if you don’t, please spare a thought and a prayer for her this week. She is one of the best people I have ever been blessed to meet.

I salute you Robyn, over and over again.

This is a prayer.

blogging Family Friendship Grief Happiness

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Jan 2

Powerful!

by jmgoyder

I follow the blog of a wonderful woman, Nicole Cody, who writes with such positive, energetic wisdom that sometimes it takes my breath away. In her post today, she invites us to choose a “Power Word” for 2014 – see http://cauldronsandcupcakes.com/

Lots of possible words came to mind: gratitude, laughter, healing, energy, harmony … but then I suddenly realized that I wanted my own power word to be the word, power itself. Or, to be more exact, the word, powerful!

POWERFUL – yes, I like it!

For me, this word doesn’t mean that I want to stomp, Godzilla-like, on anybody or anything; instead, it signifies a transition from the flailing, exhausted, try-too-hard strength I already have to a more spiritual, muscle-bound ability to contend with all 2014’s challenges, and embrace all of 2014’s joys with the kind of gratitude that is loud and fierce and inviolable.

The weird thing is that as soon as I chose my power word, my limp became a leap, and my wrinkled heart grinned itself into a balloon.

Thank you, Nicole! This photo of Prince is for you.

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Animal blogging Family Friendship Grief Happiness Parkinson's disease Wings

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Jan 1

Spam

by jmgoyder

Spam on the internet is so common now that most of us simply delete it but, when I went to do so today, I spotted this one which made me laugh.

I conceive this internet site contains some rattling excellent information for everyone : D.

I rather like the word “rattling”!

blogging

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Dec 20

“Mummy!”

by jmgoyder

Ming was allowed to come home today, three days after his surgery which was a fantastic surprise (we were told he’d be in hospital until Christmas Eve). I’d been staying in a hotel for a couple of nights and coming and going to the hospital, but checked out yesterday, planning to visit Ming then go home to the farm to feed and water the dogs, birds and alpacas, only to be told he’d be discharged today! So I quickly rang a friend to see if she could do the animals and checked back into the hotel for another night.

Yesterday Ming was still attached to the pain+antibiotic drip, a catheter, and a blood drain thingy, oxygen, and he could hardly get out of bed and walk a few steps, but today he was free of the various tubes and fighting fit – amazing! It is 8pm here and we got home around an hour ago. Ming is in a lot of pain but has three kinds of painkillers so is now in bed.

One of the painkillers has a strange side-effect – Mummy love! It is so hilarious; on Tuesday evening when he finally came out of surgery, he kept looking at me woozily and saying, “Oh, Mummy, give me your hand, hold my hand, I want to have a cubble (cuddle), you are the best mummy in the whole wide world, oh I love you so much” etc. If I let his hand go for a moment, he would yell, “Mummy, I need your hand! Muuuuuuummmmmmmyyyyyyyyy!”

Now this would have been okay if (a) he had a private room, and (b) he had a quiet voice. But he was in a shared room with three men who were all chuckling every time Ming yelled out, “Mummy, hand – where’s your hand?” After a couple of hours of this I started to get a bit embarrassed and sick of holding his stupid hand! His nurse was laughing hysterically (but quietly) at his antics and, as Ming got sleepier, she helped me remove my hand from his so I could escape to my hotel and have a well-earned wine.

My hand is still aching from his grip – so funny!

And so absolutely wonderful!

Note: Thank you so much to my WordPress and Facebook, and other friends and family (especially my own mother) for all of your prayers, wishes and messages to us. I haven’t had time to reply properly but please know how much your comments, care and love is appreciated by Ming and Muuuuummmmmyyyyy!

Animal blogging Family Friendship Happiness

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Dec 14

I am changing my name to “Whoops”

by jmgoyder

A couple of days ago I wrote about Anthony’s 1963 stove that has recently died. My first ‘whoops’ was when I described it as being a tiny bit older than me when it is actually a tiny bit younger. I don’t feel the need to apologize to the stove since it’s dead anyway but I did want to correct that minor inaccuracy for blog posterity purposes.

My second ‘whoops’ was when one of my blog friends commented: “1963 a very good year… your stove lasted 50 years and so did our marriage.” I took this to mean that something had suddenly gone amiss with her marriage so I replied, “I’m so sorryxxx.” Then I went about my daily chores a bit sad for her.

Much later in the day, I logged on and saw that my friend had written: “What are you sorry about…… we’re still married… sorry if I confused you…” Oh, I was so relieved that her marriage was in such better shape than my stove that I laughed hysterically for a few moments, then she and I exchanged a few ‘haha’ messages.

I have done a few ‘whoopsies’ lately (I seem to have a talent for it), and some of them have gotten me into trouble, so I am beginning to realize that I need to think more carefully before I speak or write. This particular ‘whoopsie’ though was so funny that I am still laughing and laughing. I have not revealed the identity of the blogger who I ‘whoopsed’ because, well, privacy and all that, but if she is willing to comment you will all know.

I imagine she is still laughing too – argh – whoops!

blogging Family Friendship Happiness

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Dec 9

Intermission

by jmgoyder

I have learned a lot about blogging over the last couple of years since I began doing it, and I have made hundreds of mistakes like oversubscribing and then being overwhelmed by emails, unsubscribing then trying to find people again, trying to read everybody’s thoughts every day, not having time to comment, not having time to answer comments, etc!

One of the things I have discovered about the WordPress blogging world is an abundance of compassion and empathy and very real (albeit internetted) connection. I don’t even remember now what I intended with this blog with all its faux pas, and now obselete pages, and ideas and goals that went nowhere. I was surprised and delighted when people responded to my birdy posts, then extremely moved that those same people would offer such amazing support to me/us as we faced our traumas of life.

Ming’s pre-op. appointment is on Wednesday so the date for his surgery must be soon (we still don’t know). His court case is likely to coincide which is going to be tricky (we still don’t know that date either).

So this is a longwinded way of saying that I probably won’t have time to read, like or comment on the blogs I subscribe to (too many ha!) but I will still keep posting mine if that’s okay. I will try to catch up with your blogs in the new year.

Happy Christmas!

blogging Embarrassing moments Family Friendship

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