jmgoyder

wings and things

Spring has sprung

It’s the first day of Spring over here and I want my heart to gallop with excitement but it won’t cooperate. Yesterday afternoon Ming and I had one of our serious talks. These always resemble the kind of discussion a grandfather might have with a small child (Ming = the grandfather; Julie = the small child).

Now it’s not particularly pleasant to be scolded by your teenage son but after much to-ing and fro-ing of our discussion, Ming finally summarized things by saying, “Mum, I just want you back the way you were. I want us to have fun again, I want you to be happy again.” (This was after he told me my office was an appalling mess).

“Is it Dad or me who is stopping you?” Ming asked.

“It’s Anthony, Ming. I just can’t seem to adjust. Come on, give me a break – he’s only been in the nursing lodge for six months. Give me a chance to breathe my grief!”

“You’ve been doing that for too long already, Mum. Please stop. We have to get this place in order – you have to help me!”

“Oh you’re not going to say that dreadful word again are you?”

“Yes, Mum. Teamwork, teamwork, teamwork!”

“Poo, poo, poo!” I retaliated (Ming loathes that word).

Anyway that was yesterday and now it is today. I just saw a blue wren and I am going to vacuum the inside veranda and it’s raining but sunny and later on I will go see Anthony and I will not cry when I get home again because if I do I will have to suffer another Ming discussion.

It’s the first day of Spring here and my heart has begun to walk again. I hope Ming doesn’t get too much of a shock!

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Love story 91 – Another world

We’d rented a cottage at Flinders Bay, a tiny, magical little place, consisting of only forty-two tiny blocks – a two hour drive south for us.

“How big is the world?” Ming asked from his car seat in the back. He was three years old. We were only an hour into our journey and I wondered if his question was another version of “Are we there yet?” I hoped not.

“Huge,” I said.

“Are we aweady in the other one?”

“The other what?”

“The other world?”

“Not yet.”

“Yes we are so!” he said with certainty.

“What do you mean?”

“We doan have hunnerts of twees in our world.”

We were driving through a forest of beautiful karri trees and I suddenly realised how weird this would seem to Ming who was used to living on a cleared farm.

A few minutes later we stopped at a parking bay to eat our picnic lunch. The forest towered above us, filtering out the sunlight all except for a few bright shafts that Ming took great delight in jumping through over and over.

“I like this world way better than our one,” he said, decisively.

An hour or so later we approached Flinders Bay and I reached behind to nudge Ming’s leg until he woke up. “We’re here, Ming.” I said, excited myself. “This is Flinders Bay.”

He took his dummy out [yes, I know a 3-year-old with a dummy is bit unusual] and watched silently through the car window as Anthony eased the car down a steep slope into the tiny bay area. The view of the water was spectacular.

“It’s annuva world!” Ming exclaimed. “One, two, fwee – this is numba fwee world! How many worlds is there, Andony?” He always addressed these more difficult questions to Anthony, which was usually a great relief.

“Just one,” Anthony said, still negotiating the steep slope of the road.

“No it’s not!” Ming replied indignantly. “This is numba fwee – I just toldja that.”

I nudged Anthony as we pulled into the driveway of the beachside cottage. “Ming thinks we’re in another world,” I whispered. “Humour him.”

“Whadidja say to Andony, Mummy?” Ming shrilled, never one to miss a whisper.

I gave up on Anthony, who looked perplexed. “Daddy reckons this is another world but he doesn’t know how many there are, all together, Ming,” I said, getting out of the car.

Ming unclipped his seatbelt and threw himself out and onto the grass. “Are we gonna live here in this world now?” he asked, pointing to the cottage. He was so excited he could hardly contain himself.

“No, just for one week, Mingy,” I said, picking him up.

“How big is one week, Mummy?”

Argh! “Ask Anthony,” I said, knowing then that Ming would definitely provide us with a whirl-wind, one-week trip around the worlds!

This was confirmed when Ming looked over my shoulder at the incredible beachfront and asked, “Is this where all the worlds get borned, Mummy?”

I looked at the view through his eyes and said, without hesitation, “Yes.”

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Didgeridoo delights!

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Why wait?

I have been so excited about my idea for a Christmas present for Ming who has become so musical over the last few years and is now doing his Certificate 4 in music.

So anyway, he started volunteering at a local school called Djidi djidi Aboriginal school a few weeks ago. Coincidentally, he had become a great fan of Xavier Rudd’s music.

So my brilliant idea was to get Ming a didgeridoo for Christmas. I got it today and have hidden it so I can give it to him later this afternoon. Why wait!

Sneak peak:

Oh I love surprises! Ming knows he is getting a present but he has no idea what it is so I said if he helps me feed the birds and put them away, he will then have to sit at our picnic table and close his eyes until I say ‘okay’!

Excitement makes me a bit incoherent – ha!

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For the love of geese and ducks

The gang get very excited when they see me.

They push the guinneas out of the way and rush towards me gleefully.

Their happy-to-see-me honking is deafening!

Their faces are alight with love….

…. of lettuce!

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Spot the difference

Here are two photographs (I concede that these are not very good photographs but that isn’t the point of this game). Okay, so you know those newspaper games where there are two pictures that, at first glance, look identical and you have to find the differences? Well, here are two photos that are different from each other in numerous ways but there is only one significant difference. Can you find it?

 

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Love story 90 – My camellia tree

I think we have over 20 camellia trees here – it is too rainy for me to go out and count them so it’s on my long list of ‘things to do’. Anthony planted most of them when he and his mother and brother first came here (he was 21 I think so it was before I was born and that’s why I don’t necessarily know all the details).

After we got married, he started planting more – I’m not quite sure why and, not being the least bit interested in gardening, I didn’t take much notice. But one day, on one of his rare days off from milking the cows, Anthony coaxed me to hop in the ute and drive one hour north to a camellia nursery called Heavenly Gardens. Booooooring, I thought, as I strapped little toddler Ming into his car seat, but I resigned myself.

When we got there, we were greeted by the owner, an ancient looking woman, almost bent double with a back condition, like an upside down L. She and one of the men who worked there, showed us through forests of camellias while I tried to allay my own boredom by allaying Ming’s. Then, all of a sudden, I saw it, a tree in full flower, each one like a ballerina. It was nothing like any of the camellias we had at home; it was much more beautiful and it was really unusual. My interest sparked, I inquired about it but the elderly woman said it was the only one she had, it was very rare and it was definitely not for sale. Her off-sider pointed out to me that it was planted in the ground and well established so there was no way she would sell it to me.

It came time for morning tea and the elderly woman and her off-sider welcomed us into a shed to share tea and cake and we sat down together while Ming vroomed around the shed with a pretend car. I said to the elderly woman that I was not a gardener but I really loved the tree and, with a twinkle in her eye, she told me that the boys would have to dig it out of the ground, and that she really didn’t want to sell it. “I wouldn’t take anything less than $350,” she murmured, looking into the distance nonchalantly.

“It’s a deal!” I exclaimed. Anthony, who was sitting next to me, had overheard this little exchange and pinched me on the bum, whispering, “Are you crazy? It’s only worth $50 at most. Nobody pays $350 for a camellia.”

But already, the elderly woman had somehow signalled her troops and three men, including her off-sider (who later told us he was a nephew), were walking away from the shed with shovels in their hands. My heart did a grin flip! I pulled my money out of my back pocket and gave it to the elderly woman who smiled softly at me. Anthony sighed and hurried down to fetch the ute. Then he helped the men load the tree on and I shook hands with nephew who told us to drive out and around the side of the nursery. He had a mysterious expression on his face.

Well, we drove around and he loaded three more potted camellias onto the ute. They weren’t the same as my tree but they were still lovely. The nephew said, “The old girl really ripped you off, so this is to make up for it. She won’t know.”

Not long after, we heard that the elderly woman had died and that Heavenly Gardens had closed down. By this time Anthony had planted my tree for me and look at it now – 16 years later!

I am going to pick some now and take them into Anthony at the nursing lodge.

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Love story 89 – I miss him

The trouble is I miss him the way he was, not the way he is now. It’s okay, I tell him this to his face and he understands because he misses himself too. My Anthony – just a couple of years ago.

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Love story 88 – Saying ‘I love you’

Such a dangerous thing to say when embarking (or trying to) on a romantic relationship.

“I love you.”

And there are so many ways of saying it:

“I love you [despite the fact that you are a selfish pig and a worm and the worst thing that ever happened to me and I hate your guts too].”

Clarification note: the stuff in the square bracketts is what might be thought but not actually spoken.

“I love you” mustn’t be said wistfully, plaintively, longingly or hesitantly. The hesitant “I love you” is something to avoid at all costs because it can produce a really loooooooooooooong pause from the recipient, or else they might suddenly have to go to the loo.

“I love you [and I know it is going to take you some time to digest this because you really are a bit thick].”

The first time I uttered these dangerous words to Anthony I was about 18 and he was 41 and I was helping him deliver a calf. In retrospect, this was probably rather bad timing. Also I couldn’t quite get the words beyond a whisper but he must have heard because he looked at me askance as the calf slipped out.

After that tentative attempt, I didn’t say “I love you” again for a year or so and then, in my 20s I couldn’t seem to stop saying it to him. But the first time he properly heard me, his face went pale, his knees quivered and his big muscly body tensed as if I had attacked him with some sort of foreign weapon.

Well, as many of you know, it all worked out. Anthony threw more “I love yous” at me than I could possibly digest before we finally got married.

And now?

Every night, when I ring him at the nursing lodge to say goodnight, it is the last thing we both say to each other.

I LOVE YOU

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Thank you, Nia!

As many of you know, Nia, who lives in Turkey, and who I only know via the blogosphere, handmade me four pillow covers and posted them to me a little while ago – a gift! I found some filling and took one in for Anthony at the nursing lodge. Today I finally remembered to take a couple of pictures of it.

I have bought Nia four little Australian things which, as soon as I have found where I put them, I will post off to her to say thank you.  Here is her site but I realize many of you already know this wonderful woman.

http://photographyofnia.com/

Anthony loves the pillow, but said, a bit sadly, “It’s too good to be in here.”

“But you’re here,” I said.

“I know,” he said, stroking Nia’s pillow gently.

“Stop this nonsense,” I said, picking up the pillow and smacking him lightly on the head with it.

He actually smiled!

Thank you, Nia.

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