Me: I know you won’t remember this because it was so long ago but….
Anthony: Try me.
Me: Okay so I had only just met you and your mother and you had employed me to help her out in the house and it was my day off (from recollection you gave me a single day off per week).
Anthony: Go on. I’m enthralled.
Me: So I spotted you on the opposite side of the street getting out of your car and I felt that whoosh of feeling I have always had for you. But then, when you saw me and yelled out, “Jules!” I began to stumble a bit. You crossed the street to talk to me and I almost fainted from exhilaration but you just said, “Why are you limping?”
At the time I was unable to answer but the following day you asked me again in the kitchen of this home I now live in without you. “Why were you limping yesterday, Jules?” you said with a kind smile.
And, without thinking, my 18 years of non-wisdom to the fore, I just said, “Because I love you, Anthony.”
Anthony: Long, floral skirt and thongs? Pink t-shirts?
Me: Yes.
Anthony: I’d forgotten all of that, Jules.
Me: Well it wasn’t exactly memorable, Ants but, by the way, your attire wasn’t much better with your short shorts and your tight t-shirts. You were so rough- looking, I thought you were the cowhand.
Anthony: I thought you were so sweet.
Me: Yeah, you said that a few times, but it didn’t work back then – us.
Anthony: I love you, Jules.
Me: I can hardly breathe sometimes, and still do that limping thing when I am nervous. I am finding it difficult to know how to direct my love for you because I love you so much NOW.
Anthony: So what’s the problem?
Me: You aren’t here anymore.
jmgoyder 
its lovely to remember the moment we fell in love with our true love
Oh dear!
Wow. So sweet.
Your conversations leave me laughing and crying at the same time. I love you Jules and think you are one hell of an amazing human being. Anthony thinks so too…I know this! xoxo
That is indeed a big problem. We are sending you lots of love from across the ocean.
Another awesome conversation
Ah, but he is – not physically, but he is always in your heart and mind. What is so beautiful about these exchanges is that his memory doesn’t evoke only sadness, but a palette of emotions. It’s so beautiful to experience those memories with your vivid writing, Julie.
❤
I didn’t want to “like” this post but the sentiment, love, sincerity, and wistfulness, prodded all of my emotions. I only “like” your truth about grief but not the pain of insatiable longing that only loss can bring. God bless you and hold you closely, Jules!
Thank you for your kindness – I am struggling x
Jules, I have kept you in and Ming in my prayers. I read your blog from my phone but can’t ‘like’ from it so when you see a lot of likes all at once, please know, I’m just catching up with my likes. I hope this makes sense. Anyway, I think you need to make these conversations into a book. xoxo Love to you Jules – lots of love xo
Thank you so much for this!