jmgoyder

wings and things

The wheelchair taxi woman

When Anthony has been wheelchair-taxied home and back he has had a variety of drivers. One of those drivers is a lovely woman who dropped in unexpectedly yesterday morning on her day off to ask about buying peachicks. We exchanged phone numbers so that I could ring her if we are lucky to get any hatchlings but admitted that I wasn’t sure what the chances were due to our fox problem. Also the peafowl are very independent so I don’t know if and where the peahens are laying (I obviously need to do some research!)

Anyway, during our short conversation, she asked when ‘hubby’ was coming home again and I said I had begun to think this was a bad idea because it upset him so much to go back to the nursing lodge after being here with us. She disagreed and said that even though he is upset each time she takes him back, it is well worth it for his sake, to be home even if it’s only briefly. “It’s the same for every person,” she said, “Don’t stop bringing him home.”

So guess what? Anthony is being wheelchair-taxied home in around 2 hours, for lunch and the afternoon.  Wish us luck!

Oh no – I better hurry up and hide those two pots with the dead azaleas in them! On the other hand, Anthony does know that I am not a gardener.

46 Comments »

I am pregnant!

I bet that shocked you! Of course I am not pregnant; after all I am 53 and Anthony is in a nursing lodge. But I keep having dreams about being pregnant and they are so real that I wake up in the morning and am surprised that I am not pregnant.

Last night, everything in the dream was initially as it is in real life: Ants was in the nursing lodge and Ming was 18. Then it got really bizarre because in the dream I had only just given birth to a beautiful little girl, to find myself pregnant again. I was bewildered at how this could be possible and my friends were looking at me askance as if I were some sort of alien, or else had dabbled in an affair. I woke up whilst still pregnant and trying to figure out how and why this had happened.

I don’t find these dreams disturbing at all; I find them rather interesting adventures. Also it is easy to see why I might be having these dreams: (a) the birds are madly mating, and loudly, because it is Spring; (b) Anthony has begun to think I have found another man; (c) Ming is giving me the whoops; and (d) Tapper, the duck, is still sitting on her eggs hoping they will hatch. As for deeper, psychological interpretations, well that is probably a minefield that I would rather avoid at the moment.

Perhaps these dreams are a signal that something really great is about to be born. That would be good!

[Or perhaps it’s just that we are inundated with eggs, the peafowl keep pooping on the chookhouse, or I need to go to the gym? Who knows!]

51 Comments »

Pokemon!

Before Ming was eighteen months old, I had over three huge albums with photos. I couldn’t bear to get rid of any of these pictures of Ming, even the ones in which I’d accidentally missed his head completely and all that could be seen was a torso, a nappy falling off and stubby, grubby little legs.

Those faulty photos, in which Ming’s eyes glowed bright red, became his favourites. “Ming dwagon – Mummy look!” he’d exclaim, delighted.

I’d show my albums to anyone who seemed remotely interested, but it wasn’t until my mother got a fit of the giggles that I realized I was overdoing it – just a bit.

“Julie, all of the photos for fourteen pages are exactly the same – just Ming sitting in the baby bath,” she laughed.

“No they’re not, Mother,” I said, indignantly. “Look closely – in this one he has that coy expression; in this one he’s twitching his nose; in this one he’s scrunching his eyes; and in this one he has bubbles all over his cheeks. And see, here, over the page, the light is slightly different, so his eyes look bigger and….”

By this time my mother was hysterical with laughter. “But it looks like pages and pages of quadruplets,” she spluttered.

It was months before I took another photo!

Eventually I got my ‘photographer’s’ confidence back, but by this time Ming had, unfortunately, developed whiskers. Not real whiskers, of course, but black texta does have a certain texture about it, especially if applied thickly and often.

It was the Pokemon creature, Raticate, who provided the inspiration. Raticate, being rat-like, had whiskers that Ming just had to have. His first attempt wasn’t so successful; he ended up covering most of his face from the nose down with black lines and then got a terrible fright when I showed him a mirror.

After that, it was my job to draw the whiskers onto Ming’s face. Ming became more and more particular about each hair-like stroke of the texta. One application would last around three days because he violently resisted having his face washed. “MING’S RATICATE WHISKAS! MING’S RATICATE WHISKAS!” he’d yell repeatedly, frantically avoiding the sponge.

The trouble with all of this was that I wanted to take the next series of Ming-photos and the whiskers didn’t fit my vision of cute. Neither did the fierce scowl that accompanied the whiskers, for a truly authentic Raticate look.

But, like many things, I got used to the whiskers, so much so that after awhile they just seemed a natural part of Ming’s face. I started taking photos again. So I now have two albums of identical photos of a severe looking two-year-old boy with what looks decidedly like a moustache! The phase only lasted a few months. Gyarados succeeded Raticate and, although Gyarados didn’t have whiskers, he did do a pretty effective water attack. “SPRISE ATTACK!” Ming would yell.

Give me whiskers any day.

I miss Pokemon!

20 Comments »

Paranoia

King: Julie hasn’t been as attentive to us as usual. Have you noticed?
Prince: Yes I have noticed!

Frosta: Yes, I’ve noticed it too, guys, and I’m a bit hurt too, but from a female perspective, I understand that she is simply going through a blue wren phase.
Prince: What’s a blue wren?
King: Those stupid little birds that flit around our heads all day.

Parkinson’s disease, in its final stages, can lead to confusion, depression, hallucinations, delusions, moodiness, dementia, and paranoia. Ironically, some Parkinson’s medications can also have these kinds of side effects which is why it is such a difficult disease to treat. Until recently, it was Anthony’s physical debilitation that was the primary concern. Yes, hallucinations were a big problem but that was eventually improved by some changes in medication.

So the nursing lodge decision was made on the basis of his physical disabilities – immobility and incontinence (and other factors). But lately, there have been some signs of psychological problems. His confusion in the evenings has become a constant and his depression too, and  last week I blogged about his uncharacteristic anger with me. Today, when Ming and I visited, he was different again. He had a strange, suspicious expression in eyes (eyes which are so difficult to read now) and he began a mumbled diatribe about the nurse who had showered him this morning, saying that she had kicked his foot and hurt him. He even used a few insulting expletives so I left Ming with him out in the sunshine and went in to talk to the head nurse.

This is only the second time I have raised an issue. The first was last week when I told her that his anger with me was a new thing, and today, without going into exactly what he had said, I mentioned that he seemed to have something against the nurse who showered him this morning. I admitted that I didn’t know if he was delusional or if she had actually been a bit ungentle with him and emphasized that his complaining was, like this new anger, uncharacteristic. She said she would look into things tactfully and we both agreed that it may be a new symptom of his PDD. I said I would see his doctor asap to see if his meds. could be altered (for the millionth time) to address this new out-of-character behaviour.

She said that he was occasionally a bit rude and nasty to staff, especially if their ethnicity didn’t match his and I was a bit shocked and reassured her that this, too, was completely out of character. She patted me on the back and Ming and I came home a little stunned by this rather rapid change in Anthony’s personality. The other thing that has been happening lately is that he has begun accusing me of having a boyfriend (which, of course, I don’t!) and previously he was never the jealous type.

I hope we can do something about this because it is very worrying. I mean if he is nasty to the staff they are hardly going to love him are they. So this is a real dilemma in terms of his care.

36 Comments »

Our blue wrens!

As you can see from the following pictures, I have discovered the secret to good photography. You will have to read below to find out how I accomplished this.

The secret to good photography is to get someone else to do it. These are courtesy of Elen Wood. Thank you Elen!

50 Comments »

Dancing

Guinnea trying out a new move

19 Comments »

Queenie

Queenie is our oldest peahen because I purchased her and King as adults. All of the other peafowl came as littlies. Queenie and I have a rather special relationship although we do disagree on some issues. She is a rather radical feminist whereas I tend to waver. She has successfully negotiated a relationship with her husband, King, whereby he only visits when she says yes. King understands because he can see how hard Queenie is working on training the younger peahens. King’s method of training the young peacocks is to play tag around the house.

I think the reason that Queenie and I get on so well is that we are both contemplative. I love her!

34 Comments »

Who let the dogs out?

Remember this song?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He82NBjJqf8&noredirect=1

For some time now we have had a dogs versus birds dilemma and this has been a source of contention between Ming and me. I have tended to lock the dogs in their yard and let the birds free range and Ming has wanted this arrangement reversed, so we have now come to a compromise. The dogs get to run free all morning, then get put back into their yard, then the poultry get to free range all afternoon until we put them away, then the dogs get another run. So far this is working very well.

The reason we can’t let them all frolic together is because the dogs want to kill everything. Blaze is a miniature dachschund and Jack is an Irish terrier so, despite our attempts to train them not to kill (using electric collar things briefly which I didn’t like, and a dog trainer) both breeds have been bred to hunt and kill.

Luckily the guinnea fowl and peafowl can fly up and away from dog danger, but none of the poultry can – not even Godfrey – so now we have a new system and everyone seems very happy – the gang, the dogs and Ming and me.

They look so innocent don’t they!

Don’t be fooled by their sweet demeanours; Ming let them out a bit early the other afternoon, before the roosters were roosting, and they killed Noname and Tina Turner almost instantaneously. Poor Ming tried to stop it but had to come and tell me. I cried my eyes out even though Tina and I had such a love/hate relationship. Noname was always a bit vulnerable and an easy target so I guess, for me, this was another lesson learned.

I’m not sure if getting accustomed to loss is a good or a bad thing.

44 Comments »

The first word

This word is often the first you utter as a toddler, but it is also the first word you become fearful of. It can be said to you, but you cannot say it back. You can’t say it back when you are a little child because you are a little child. You can’t say it back when you begin school because you are a schoolchild. You can’t say it back to your parents, your teachers, your coaches, your relatives, your friends … because you are not allowed to, no matter how many times it is said to you.  So you grow up and you get your first job and the situation repeats itself until you think that maybe you will never, ever be able to say your first word again. And then, 20, 30, 40 or 50 years into your life, you suddenly realize that it would be rather a handy word to use in some circumstances. So you try it out, very gently, and it works- it works! Then you try it out, less gently, and that works too and this surprises you because you have always been too fearful of using this first word. It is a beautiful word.

No.

Last week I said ‘no’ to Ming and today I said ‘no’ to Ants and, instead of being catapulted off the earth into nowhere, the three of us are still here and my two men have survived my ‘no’ with incredible ease. Of course there is more to this, as my previous blogposts imply, however it is the end result that really matters. I have learned to say no, Ming has learned that I am the boss and Anthony has begun to accept that he is in a nursing lodge permanently.

To celebrate my newfound love of the first word, I went out this afternoon and took some pictures (something I haven’t done for ages) of our beautiful white peacock who seems to think he is the first word bird!

I asked him if I could take just one more photo. He looked at me, turned around, flew high up into the wattle tree and cawed his answer down to me.

No.

58 Comments »

Whose egg is this?

The chooks lay all of their eggs in the same place – in the chook house – and Tapper, the duck, lays hers there too. The geese, on the other hand lay them anywhere and everywhere. There aren’t that many goose eggs but every now and then I see one in the middle of the lawn and I wonder whose egg it is. Then, the other day, I was sitting at my little picnic table near the bird yards and Ola just popped one out right in front of me (it’s the same one I put into Ming’s scrambled eggs the other night).

I have now asked Ola if she wouldn’t mind laying her eggs in the yard. She has agreed.

19 Comments »