My maternal grandfather used to call me ‘idiot child’ when I was little. He said this fondly, so it was a term of endearment but I think he might have been right, because I have always been fantastically good at making a fool of myself. So I am still that idiot child despite a few decades having passed by.
But I am not so much of an idiot that I can’t read between the lines of how this blog has altered in tone from light-hearted and somewhat hopeful, and mostly about birds, last November, to what it is now. It is certainly much more about things than about wings. I worry that it is beginning to be tinged with a death theme and I know what that’s about.
Son has berated me for this morning’s ‘Doc’ post because he saw it on Facebook and he was enraged that (a) I had given up on Doc, and (b) I told the “world”.
My mother says she couldn’t do a blog because she wouldn’t want to “bare her soul” which means I must seem like I am baring mine – how ghastly!
One of my best friends says, in a gobsmacked way, “I’m ringing to see if you are okay because I just read your post.” He was referring to one from some time ago in which I was bereft and he said, “You always have been so transparent with your emotions.”
Needless to say, these comments make me feel like an idiot – ha!
This afternoon, I went to visit Husband in the nursing lodge and it was great. We walked up to the corner of the lodge property and discovered yet another ocean view, some other friends came and we ended up in Husband’s room, having a few laughs and reminiscing and then Husband began to falter and I needed to go home to see what was happening with Doc (I had left Son in charge).
Tomorrow Husband wants to come home for the day to help us make the Doc decision, so that is a good thing. As I was leaving, I said to him “Do you think I am an idiot?”
Without hesitation, Husband replied, “No, you’re just Jules.” And his acceptance is, and always has been, my warmest blanket.
But, speaking of idiocy, it wasn’t until I looked at a blurred picture I took of Phoenix 1 the other day that I realized the avocadoes were ripening – can you see them?
If you can’t see them, you are an idiot!
jmgoyder 