jmgoyder

Today I picked Anthony up from the nursing lodge to take him for a doctor’s appointment to get some of his never-ending skin cancers burned off with that ice stuff. Having been a farmer all his life, out in the full sun before the days of hats and sunscreen, he develops many of these on an almost daily basis – new eruptions from old sun damage – on his arms, face and back mainly. Even though it hurts, Anthony has a strange liking for the procedure, mainly because he really likes seeing our doctor and so do I.

In the car on the way to the doctor’s office I asked him did he remember what had happened last night and he surprised me by saying yes.

Me: Well I think we should tell the doctor because this seems to be happening more often and you sounded so terrified.
Anthony: I didn’t want to be ordered around.
Me: So you fought the staff, told me I was part of a conspiracy against you, thought you were being tied up, and frightened the hell out of me.
Anthony: They deserved it.
Me: But they were just trying to put you to bed! Was anyone being nasty or pushy?
Anthony: Not really.
Me: So why did you fight them?
Anthony: Oh, just for a bit of fun.

AAARGH!

Before I go on, I should explain that this kind of conversation flows much more smoothly on the page than it does in real time. In real time, there are a lot of pauses and sometimes Anthony’s voice is so soft now that I have to say, “what?” or “say that again?” before I understand what he is saying.

Anyway, his ‘bit of fun’ comment made me laugh, until I became a bit cross.

Me: So you think it’s funny to torment the nurses and make me cry for worrying about you.
Anthony: The first thing yes but not to you. (He reaches out and pats my knee as we pull into the doctor’s parking lot)
Me: Well I’m going to ask the doctor to prescribe you with something for when this happens again.
Anthony: So you want to drug me.
Me: Nooooo! I just don’t want you to have one of these terrified episodes again with nothing to calm you down. Even I take something like that now and then!
Anthony: Yes, but you probably need it.

He has a point there!

When we went into the doctor’s office, he already had his ice-spray thingy in his hand like a weapon (a little joke he and Anthony share), but I told him that our visit was two-fold and then described last night’s incident, including Anthony as much as I could, despite his point of view being different from mine. He, too, thought it was funny when Anthony said it was all a bit of fun and Anthony’s eyes did that rare twinkly thing and he nearly smiled.

A new medication was prescribed, several skin cancers burned off and we left feeling as if we’d been on a social visit. By that time it was early afternoon, so I suggested we eat at a restaurant but Anthony wanted MacDonalds (most unusual!) So we got burgers from a drive-through, went to a park and ate them in the car (much easier than getting Ants in and out of a restaurant), then went to a bakery and bought a fancy tart which he vacuumed up, and a big chocolate cake for the nurses. By the time we got back to the nursing lodge, he was exhausted.

Okay it is now nearing the time I usually ring Anthony to say goodnight. The new pill won’t be available until tomorrow so we may well have a repeat of last night’s situation but this time I will be ready and I won’t let either of us be disarmed. I have to be prepared for the worsening of Anthony’s condition even though every single morning he says to me, “I’m so much better, Jules.”